REWRITE: Wall's, That's All They Are
by Sunny-This-Side-Up
Summary: Gilbert has been in prison for almost 3 years for a crime he didn't commit, the one who committed it yet to be found. This has been taking a tremendous toll on his boyfriend of 5 years, Roderich, though he refuses to admit it. Gilbert's not stupid though. He knows of Roderich's toll and it worries him to no end. He knows he must see Roderich. His only option: escape the prison.
1. The First Visit

Chapter 1: The First Visit

**Heeeey there~ **

**This is the same story as the original 'Wall's, That's All They Are' so don't kill me, its still the same writer with a different profile.**

**Rated for future chapters**.

**Other Minor Pairings are GerIta, FrUk, Spamano, RusAme, DenNor**

**I don't own Hetalia of its characters**

**Quick Sum of Story: **Gilbert has been in prison for almost 3 years for a crime he did not commit, the one who actually committed the crime yet to be found. This has been taking a tremendous toll on Roderich, his boyfriend of 5 years, though the 'stubborn priss' as Gilbert can so colorfully put it won't admit it. Gilbert's not stupid though, he knows all this is stressful and bothering to Roderich. Lately though, Gilbert can see how this is affecting him physically. This worries Gilbert. He knows he needs to see his boyfriend without a sheet of glass keeping them apart, but there's only one way to do that: he needs to escape prison.

The barred doors opened up with a mechanical beep to sound it off. Prisoner 117856383 or 'Gilbert Beilschmidt' was being escorted by two guards to the Visiting Hall. He saw a few of the other prisoners being escorted as well to the same hall by other guards. Crimson eyes scanned the many cells he passed that rested on two separate floors, thinking for the umpteenth time of how and why he got here. He seemed to think of his incarceration every time someone visited him.

_Gilbert got out of his car and raced into the small convenient store due to the pouring rain outside. The cashier looked up once the bell rang to see the pale albino enter, take his dark red hood off, and shake himself from the rain. Gilbert looked up and grinned ever-so widely._

"_Hey Hans!" Gilbert greeted the older cashier who was grinning at him as well._

"_Hallo Gilbert! How's my favorite 'Prussian'?" Hans asked with a wrinkled grin._

_Said 'Prussian' laughed victoriously._

"_As awesome as ever Hans! Anyway, ran out of beer and that tea shit Roddy likes so much." Gilbert said, thinking of his ill boyfriend who specifically asked for chamomile tea._

_Hans nodded and pointed to an aisle. _

"_Tea's in the 'home remedies' aisle and you know where the beer is." The German man pointed out. _

_Gilbert grinned and nodded._

"_Awesome!" Gilbert said as his own way of thanks which the cashier understood from the years of knowing the albino._

_Gilbert down the 'home remedies' aisle as directed by his friend to search for the tea his Austrian boyfriend told him specifically to get. Luckily with years of knowing the said Austrian, Gilbert practically memorized every tea the stuffy Austrian liked to drink so it wasn't hard to find the said tea boxes, a quiet triumphant sound slipping out of his mouth. Even though the tea itself was easy to find, he never had an idea of how much boxes to get because the tea box numbers changed regularly which always managed to confuse the German man._

"_Damn Roderich and his always changing number of tea." Gilbert thought out of humor._

_With that thought, Gilbert slipped his I-Phone out of his jacket pocket, scanning through the list of contacts until it landed on his favorite Austrian's name. He pressed the icon to send a message and started pressing the letters._

"_Hey Roddy, at store, found yur tea how much boxes do ya need?" he sent the text and waited._

_As he did, he decided to go ahead and grab his beer. The lights in the store flickered before turning off completely. He heard Hans curse in German behind the counter._

_Gilbert's phone vibrated and he let the glow from the phone caress his face as he read Roderich's text._

"_Just three for now." It read._

"_Thx Roddy, the awesome me will get it all!" he texted with a smirk._

_He backtracked to the 'home remedies' aisle and took three boxes of chamomile tea before he heard Hans shuffling with something behind the counter and his phone vibrating again. He took it out and read it._

"_Ja ja, I know, just get it Gilbert." It read._

_Gilbert smirked and texted back._

"_Luv ya too Roddy. C ya in a few minutes." He texted back, before hearing the store doors open and the bell ring. He looked up to see a man about his height and weight, enter with his face covered by his hood. Hans looked up from behind the counter and stand._

"_Hallo, how can I help you?" Hans greeted as usual before the sound of a gun clicking echoed through the store._

"_The money." The man simply said. Hans raised his hands in surrender and Gilbert ducked._

"_Shit!" Gilbert yelled in his mind. _

_Gilbert knew he had to help Hans from this maniac. Gilbert remembered his phone though. He quickly and quietly took it out of his pocket and pressed the speed dial for the police. He put his phone away and peeked over the aisle a bit to see if the man was still distracted at Hans so he could sneak up and hopefully disarm the man and wait for the police._

"_Sir, I beg you, I don't have much in this register. Take whatever you want from the store; just put the gun away so no one can get hurt." Hans tried to convince the man. _

_Gilbert snuck around a couple of the aisles to find the one that was behind the man so it could be easier to grab him. It was dark in the store so that would make it easier._

"_I want nothing else, I want the money. Now give it to me or I will shoot you." The man warned in a grave voice._

_Hans slowly came towards the register and pushed in the code to open it. He then spotted Gilbert creeping up towards the man. Gilbert saw him and urged him to be quiet. Hans was happy to oblige. He however had to distract the man long enough for Gilbert to grab the man._

"_I am sorry but the code must have been changed." Hans lied to the man._

"_A shame. Well I didn't want witnesses anyway." The man said before pointing the gun at Hans. _

_Gilbert then pounced the man from behind. The man shot the gun but his direction was changed and the bullet shot another way. Gilbert found himself wrestling the man for his gun. The man grunted and struggled from Gilbert's grip before finally prying him off and punching him in the jaw, throwing Gilbert backwards into a shelf along with a swift but hard kick to Gilbert's head._

_Gilbert's back lay against the shelf, dazed and dizzy. The man said something that Gilbert couldn't comprehend at the moment. He did comprehend the sound of a shot ringing through the store and a thud. The man pointed the gun at Gilbert's head about to shoot but was stopped at the sound of a car door closing. The man seemed to panic, not knowing what to do for a moment. He then suddenly put the gun in Gilbert's hands and wrapping his fingers around it. _

_He then ran out the back door of the store, leaving a dazed but conscience Gilbert against the shelf. _

_Gilbert meanwhile, groaned awake from him blacking out from the kick to the head, rubbing the spot he head been kicked, and looking around._

"_H-Hans?" Gilbert called lowly, a strike of lightning lighting the store for a moment. Gilbert stood up, so far unaware of the weight in his hand. _

"_Hans?" he called lowly again before cautiously stepping up to the counter. _

_Another lightning strike and the lights flickering back on. That's when Gilbert spotted the crimson stain on the counter and the pool of blood quickly spreading on the floor behind the counter. Gilbert's eyes widened at the sight and stepped back, speechless. He then felt a new weight in his hand and looked down to see the gun that shot Hans. What was it doing in his hands? He didn't have time to think before the doors swung open and more guns cocked at Gilbert. Wide crimson eyes looked over towards the doors to see the police he called, yelling 'Freeze' and 'Get down' in German._

Armed robbery and first-degree murder was what they charged the albino with and no matter the amount of begging and yelling for Gilbert to properly explain, there was no evidence found that another person entered the store after Gilbert due to nothing pointing to that fact, or the fact that the security cameras went off with the electricity and the fact that the gun had only Gilbert's finger prints on it.

They gave him a 10 year sentence, 5 for good behavior but Gilbert knowing himself, would not be a model prisoner because of the fights he was sure to get into.

He of coarse was right about that, because of his reputation with the other prisoners that wanted to 'bribe' him or just plain kick his ass, which wasn't a good one.

Gilbert yelped loudly when one of the guards escorting him accidently tripped and his elbow hit his side which was bruised from his most recent fight.

"Watch it!" Gilbert snapped.

The said guard gave him an apologetic look before standing straight and resuming the escort.

He passed more cells, one of which he did his best to ignore the cruel smirk and stare directed at him.

"_Just ignore that son of a bitch Gilbert and you should be fine."_ He thought furiously, passing the cells finally.

With a relieved sigh, he looked ahead to see his booth which was directed at a wall with a number of plexiglass windows with phones next to each booth so as to talk with the other on the other side. One of Gilbert's cuffs was taken off and strapped to the steel pipe that connected to the wall of his own booth. Once he sat down, he immediately spotted the very people he wanted to see for a while: his younger brother Ludwig with his bubbly Italian boyfriend Feliciano, and his best friends Francis and Antonio with their own partners Arthur and Lovino. He looked around for Roderich though but didn't spot him. He felt his heart sink a bit but managed to perk up and grin as his friends and Feliciano running over to his booth with Ludwig and Arthur only coming over with less excitement while Lovino just walked over, grumbling about how he didn't want to be in the prison.

Ludwig sat down on the chair in front of the booth, taking the phone as well as Gilbert.

Ludwig was going to speak when Francis and Antonio spoke first.

"Hey Gilbert, long time no see!" they both greeted excitedly.

Gilbert laughed loudly.

"Aww did you ladies miss me that much?" he joked with a smirk, Lovino grumbling.

"No fucking way in this damned world would I even think about you, you loud-mouthed bastard." Lovino said loud enough for Gilbert to hear.

Antonio chuckled at the aggravated Italian and slung an arm around his shoulders, much to the cursing Italian's discontent, but despite some curses and protests, he just let Antonio keep his arm rested around his shoulders.

Ludwig sighed on the other end, Feliciano making his way to the German's lap.

"How are you doing?" Ludwig asked.

Gilbert shrugged.

"Eh, bout as good as I'll be. I'd be awesome if it weren't for these sons of bitches who like to fuck with me." Gilbert said simply, glancing around behind his brother for a certain Austrian face.

Ludwig nodded.

"I think you can manage well brother." Ludwig said to the phone.

Gilbert grinned.

"Coarse I can, Luddy! I'm too awesome to not manage!" he boasted with his unusual laugh.

Ludwig again sighed, Feliciano looking at Gilbert through the glass.

"Ciao Gilbert~!" The bubbly Italian greeted with a wave.

Gilbert spotted Francis again flirting with Arthur, the British man snapping at him and pushing the Frenchman away, making said Frenchman pout playfully. Francis then came over as well as Antonio.

"Mon ami, when will they let you out of this hole, it is so quiet and non-Gilbert-y without you!" the Frenchman cried dramatically, Antonio laughing.

"I have to agree with Francis here. But hey, the first thing we'll all do when you get out is have a drink as celebration, right?" the Spaniard said to him with a cheeky grin.

Gilbert grinned as well and nodded quickly.

"Fuck yea we are! That's what's keeping me sane here, is the prospect of beer!" Gilbert laughed to his Spaniard friend through the phone.

"Perhaps I could make some celebratory scones for you when you get out." Arthur suggested, Francis and Lovino immediately saying no, Gilbert following them in the chain-link of 'no's'.

Ludwig turned to them and requested them to leave. They all nodded to him.

"Well, bye for now mon ami~ see you later~" Francis said with a wave.

"Bye bye Gilbert! See 'ya soon!" Feliciano chirped.

"Adios for now Gilbert!" Antonio chirped with equal excitement as Feliciano with Lovino and Arthur grumbling at the loudness emitting from them all.

With that, everyone except Ludwig went outside. Gilbert looked at his brother, suddenly serious.

"Where's Roddy? Is he even here?" Gilbert asked as he saw his friends leave.

Ludwig nodded and sighed.

"Ja he is. He's just waiting outside. He wanted to see you without Francis or Antonio around…Gilbert I must tell you something." Ludwig said to Gilbert which instantly grabbed his attention.

"What is it? Is something wrong?" he asked quickly.

"It's about Roderich. I've been checking in with Elizabeta and she said he hasn't been out of his house for a while aside from work. Even there, his boss said he's been very distant and his work suffering a bit. Roderich's boss gave him a three month's worker's comp. to catch up on his work and hopefully solve whatever's wrong with him." Ludwig explained.

If it wasn't the fact that Gilbert hadn't seen Roderich when the visit started, it was that that had Gilbert starting to worry about the Austrian's well-being. The last time he saw him was almost a week ago and he seemed fine but with this new information, Gilbert couldn't help but wonder what's been occurring with the Austrian's life during his incarceration besides this newfound information. He might just have to ask him when he comes.

"Distant? Catching up on work? That doesn't sound like the Roderich I know. Is he even talking to anyone?" Gilbert asked, hoping Ludwig's answer was yes.

To his relief, his brother nodded.

"Ja he does, but generally it's a short conversation. He's even doing that to Elizabeta. If I had to guess, I'd think Roderich's depressed judging from his behavior." Ludwig guessed before he heard the twin metal doors behind him open for someone to step through them. Ludwig and Gilbert both looked at the doors to see an elegant figure step through.

Gilbert felt his heart flutter once he laid eyes on Roderich who was dressed as elegantly as he always was. With Roderich's pale and soft skin with his chocolate brown hair and violet colored eyes, Gilbert could only describe him as a beautiful angel, which he called him before during one of their dates, remembering the thick blush that covered his face once Gilbert told him that.

Gilbert felt himself smile as the Austrian crossed the room towards his booth and Gilbert could swear he saw Roderich's pale face light up a bit when he saw Gilbert, though if Gilbert ever asked, Roderich would deny it.

Ludwig stood up with the phone in his hand still and looked at Gilbert. "Well, until next time, ja?" he said as a departure.

Gilbert gave him a curt nod before Ludwig walked past Roderich without saying a word. Once Roderich sat down, he straightened himself up and brought the phone to his ear. It took him a moment to speak though.

"Good afternoon Gilbert. How are you fairing?" the Austrian asked.

Gilbert smiled warmly.

"Not to bad Little Master, what about you?" he asked, taking note that Roderich's voice did sound a bit tired and strained.

"I am well, thank you." Roderich told him, Gilbert knowing it was a lie.

Gilbert's smile didn't waver though when he put his hand flat against the glass.

"I hope so Little Master, I'd hate to see that pretty face so bad off." Gilbert said in a joking manner that made Roderich blush and turn away.

"Stop that Gil, I'm fine." He spoke, laying his own hand against the glass over Gilbert's hand.

Gilbert looked at his hand, wanting to touch its soft and warm skin again or to have his calloused fingers wrap around those soft fingers of a pianist such as Roderich, wishing the glass could easily break so he could touch him. He pushed those thoughts from his mind however and faced his boyfriend.

"Luddy told me you were having a bit of problems. Is that true?" he asked the Austrian whose face became a bit redder from embarrassment.

"I-I don't think anything's wrong honestly." Roderich lied, Gilbert obviously not believing him.

Gilbert sighed and Roderich was silent for a moment.

"I've heard you have been getting into fights." Roderich said a bit sadly.

Gilbert shrugged.

"Yea a couple cause of this bastard put in here for assault with a deadly weapon who's been giving me problems." Gilbert admitted, Roderich raising an incredulous brow.

"Gilbert, you can't get into fights that might keep you in here longer." Roderich said with a slight plead in his voice.

Gilbert caught that little plead and pursed his pale lips.

"I'm sorry Roddy. I'll try to not get in anymore, but at a price." Gilbert told his boyfriend with a familiar smirk with Roderich giving him his natural scowl at the smirk.

"What could I possibly do to get you do stop a simple thing as fighting Gilbert, just what?" he asked with irritation already creeping in his voice which Gilbert found cute a lot of the time much to Roderich's expense.

"Well, Ludwig told me you haven't been out of your house for 1'000 years, so I want you to get out more. Maybe you can go have a drink like a real German and not all that tea. I swear with all the tea you drink, I'd think the color of your piss was darker." Gilbert laughed his loud and obnoxious laugh while Roderich was huffing.

"I think I'll stick to tea, and tea doesn't turn your urine a different color Gilbert!" Roderich snapped in the phone, Gilbert again laughing at Roderich.

Once Gilbert calmed down, he looked back at Roderich with his grin still present on his face.

"Anyway in all seriousness, you should get out more. Hey maybe Lizzy can take you out drinking." Gilbert suggested cheekily.

Roderich sighed.

"If anything involving me getting out of my house only involves drinking, I think I'll pass. Besides, Elizabeta's been too distracted with her Japanese friend Kiku for some reason which I'd rather not speak of, knowing her little 'hobby'." Roderich said, both men shuddering at the thought of the woman's hobby in taking lewd pictures.

Gilbert then suddenly remembered something that was connected with Elizabeta's hobby. He smirked.

"Hey Roddy, remember the time that we found out about her 'hobby'?" he asked with a grin.

Roderich shuddered and nodded.

"Ja, unfortunately." He answered, the vague memory slipping into his mind.

_Gilbert and Roderich had been dating for about 6 months at the time and Gilbert had just moved in with Roderich from his brother Ludwig's basement, much to Ludwig's happiness since he had started dating the bouncy and bubbly Italian Feliciano and he thought it would be embarrassing if Gilbert was present in his basement with his thoughts of exactly what Ludwig would be doing with the little Italian (which he still thought at times just to see Ludwig's reaction once he told him)._

_Right now, their long time friend Elizabeta was moving some stuff in her storage unit and she asked the two to help her out which they both gladly accepted._

_Both were present in the Hungarian woman's home and in her garage where she told them specifically what to put in her car and what to keep in her garage._

"_That's a load there. I'll take this load to storage. Both of you take a break while I'm gone." Elizabeta told them with a smile._

_Luckily both men took the hint and sat down in separate chairs with a sigh._

"_What does she keep in those boxes? They're so fucking heavy!" Gilbert said with an exasperated sigh._

_Roderich didn't answer verbally, he just shrugged, letting his head fall backwards tiredly._

_Gilbert scanned the garage out of boredom until his crimson colored eyes landed on a small rectangular box near the door that lead inside her house with the word 'Pictures' written on the lid in Sharpie marker. It stroke a sense of wonderment suddenly in Gilbert so much that he stood up, walked over, and picked it up._

_Roderich turned his head towards Gilbert and saw what he was holding._

"_Gilbert, what are you doing?" he asked._

"_Nothing." Gilbert simply answered, going back to his chair and sitting in it with the small box in his lap._

_Now Roderich was interested in the small box but knew it was highly impolite to go through his friend's stuff without her permission._

"_Gilbert, don't go through Elizabeta's personal things!" Roderich said with irritation in his voice._

_Gilbert groaned._

"_But I'm bored Roddy, plus she won't be back for a bit. I also think it would be fucking funny to see the pictures her mom took when she was a baby. Boy she'd be so pissed if we saw that, I think she'd kill us! But damn it would be funny, right?" Gilbert said with his loud laugh while Roderich was fuming a bit._

"_That's exactly why we shouldn't! Those are her personal pictures and I think she'd be very angry if we went through them!" he screeched._

_Gilbert rolled his eyes at the Austrian._

"_Keep your panties on Roddy, what someone doesn't know can't hurt them right?" Gilbert said with a matter-of-factly voice. Roderich huffed and crossed his arms when Gilbert scooted his chair closer to his._

_Gilbert then grinned as he opened the box, expecting Elizabeta's old baby pictures of her in the tub, thinking of the laughs that would echo. He looked over to Roderich who to his surprise was watching with him. His grin was now one of triumph once he opened the box. However, old pictures from the woman's past wasn't what they saw, it was something far more different, and disgusting to Roderich who's violet eyes were wide as well as Gilbert's crimson ones, said albino's grin completely gone._

"_What the hell!?" Gilbert yelled, looking into the box, filed with pictures of his friends…and their partners._

_Many of Gilbert's friends were gay and had boyfriends such as his friend Matthias with his Norwegian sweetheart Lukas or his American friend Alfred with his large and intimidating Russian boyfriend Ivan, the list could go on really. But as the albino and his own respective sweetheart looked at the pictures of almost every one of his friends with their love interests…during sexual intercourse._

"_She even labeled them and put dates on the back!" Gilbert screamed in his head, unable to really talk out of shock much like his Austrian boyfriend next to him. _

_A few of the pictures had Japanese handwriting on the back, signifying that Elizabeta didn't share this 'interesting' hobby alone, Gilbert immediately knowing who it was. Gilbert (much to his own discontent, mind you), went through the pictures of his friends and their partners during intercourse to see that many of the people he knew were subject to Elizabeta and Kiku's cameras. _

_Gilbert saw Matthias with Lukas underneath him as if he seemed to be begging the Dane for something, _

_his best friend Francis and Arthur while Francis was biting Arthur's bare neck and grabbing his ass, _

_Alfred with his bear of a Russian boyfriend in the middle of thrusting into the American, and even a 'few' with Antonio and Lovino with Lovino topping in a couple of them and Ludwig with Feliciano under him with the Italian's face flushed with a blush and Ludwig's hands on the Italian's hips and chest. _

_Gilbert couldn't help but think a bit proudly of his brother for a split second for going to third base with Feliciano, but remembered exactly what he was looking at and that he was still scanning through them. He stopped when his hands grasped a familiar picture of him and Roderich. Him and Roderich during intercourse._

_Wait._

_Him and Roderich._

_Intercourse!_

_Him and Roderich during intercourse!_

_Gilbert and Roderich screamed at the pictures of their own 'sexy time' as Gilbert liked to call it, though now was not the time for joking. When Gilbert just managed to regain some of his shocked senses, he could see it was of their first time when he saw the rain behind the windows, remembering it rained that night._

"_Oh dear, you found those?" a feminine voice said with slight worry in her voice. _

_Both men snapped their heads to the Hungarian woman who was smiling instead of throwing things which greatly confused the embarrassed and speechless German and Austrian._

"With that, no sex for a whole month and when the month was over with, it was still awkward! She is so going to pay for that someday!" Gilbert exasperated with a laugh afterwards.

Roderich didn't respond. He stayed silent for a moment that Gilbert slipped in as well. Though it was comfortable, Gilbert couldn't help but feel a sense of dread from Roderich.

"_Maybe I shouldn't have brought that up."_ The albino thought before Roderich looked up at the clock overhead.

He sighed.

"They said I couldn't be long." Roderich said sadly.

Gilbert felt his once happy spirits that came from laying eyes on his beautiful Austrian die away at the thought of him leaving. He looked down for a second before nodding and looking back up at his boyfriend whose violet eyes were as sorrowful as his own.

"Well, I'll see you again next week, ja?" Gilbert asked a nod as a reply from Roderich.

Gilbert looked over to his hand which was still on the window with Roderich's hand in the same spot on the other side of the glass. The two looked at each other sadly before they put the phones down and leaned up towards the glass and pressed both their lips against the glass for a make-shift kiss, both wanting the glass non-existent to actually feel each other's warm lips instead of the cold glass.

Roderich didn't realize a single tear roll down his cheek.

Once the two broke away sadly, they both stood. Gilbert saw the tear on Roderich's cheek and instantly wanted to hold the Austrian and tell him it's alright. He remained silent as Roderich dusted himself and walked out of the hall.

With a sigh, Gilbert turned to his guard.

"I'm ready. Let's go." He said in a monotone way.

The guard came over and unlocked the one cuff attached to the steel pipe to re-cuff it to Gilbert's wrist before taking his arm and walking back down to Gilbert's cell, the albino not getting the picture of the tear on Roderich's face as he left. He just hoped Roderich's words were true and he would be alright.

Outside the visiting hall however, Roderich rushed to the bathroom once he closed the doors. He looked around to see if he was alone and once he saw he was, he went to the sinks and started shaking with silent sobs finally escaping his throat. His face in his hands and his shoulders shaking roughly, Roderich thought of how he came to this.

When Roderich had learned that Gilbert had been arrested for robbery and murder, it dropped on him like a ton of bricks. Once he confronted Gilbert about it, the albino's first words out of his mouth were that he didn't do it, that he could never kill his friend out of cold blood like that. Roderich believed him knowing he was incapable of something like that, but it still weighed heavily on him because he was being sentenced and no matter how many times Roderich talked to Gilbert's lawyer, there was simply nothing pointing to anybody else who committed the crime so no evidence could be used unless the killer himself just showed up at his door step admitting he did it and Roderich knew that was impossible.

Roderich knew his work was suffering because of all the stress weighing down on him since Gilbert's imprisonment because of Roderich's constant worry over what would happen to Gilbert and the fact that Gilbert admitted he was fighting with the other prisoners didn't make it any better.

Roderich also knew that his sleep schedule wasn't helping his coming depression. He hasn't had a decent night of sleep for a long time because of the nightmares that would plague his mind when he slept, nightmares of Roderich's loneliness and fears.

He seemed to be shutting down due to everything: the work he refuses to complete, his nightmares, Gilbert's imprisonment. Gilbert had always said Roderich was the delicate one of the two and Roderich knew he was right. Gilbert was always the stronger of the two, emotionally, mentally, and physically while Roderich himself was fragile all together because he wasn't built like Gilbert was, much to the Austrian's displeasure sometimes.

Roderich felt weak, ready to crack any day, but trying so hard to keep perfect balance so as to not fall and ultimately break into millions of little pieces never to get back together.

It scared him.

He felt so alone due to this. He never liked to be alone, no matter how many times he looked like he cherished solitude. Gilbert knew this and that's one of the things he loved about the loud-mouthed albino, was that if he felt like it, he could see through a person and no matter how many times Roderich said he wanted to be alone, the albino never left his side despite the many protests that came and the number of glove slaps he received.

The albino told Roderich one day that he'd always be there to protect him and never leave the Austrian's side, no matter what.

Roderich sobbed more at that memory.

"Y-You…bastard…! Your not here now! W-Why?" he sobbed in his hands.

The bathroom door opened.

"Roderich? Are you in here?" a deep German voice spoke.

Roderich instantly perked up and wiped his eyes before Ludwig saw him that way.

"J-Ja I am. I'll be out in a minute." Roderich answered quickly before turning a tap on and splashing some cold water on his face.

With a sigh, he looked at his disheveled self through the mirror. He sighed again and rubbed his face.

With that he stood up straight and walked quickly out of the bathroom towards the parking lot. He just wanted to go home and away from the place that held his lover behind cold iron bars.

_**And chapter one is finished! Love it? Hate it?**_

_**By the way, if some haven't guessed, Karma's a bitch. First my internet is shut off for almost 3 weeks so I couldn't get on and when I do get on, something's up with my original profile which is keeping me from logging in. All in al, I had to create another profile and repost a couple of fanfictions like this one. If it happens again, I think I'll just kill my computer.**_

_**Reviews are welcome as always!**_

_**Hope you all enjoyed, stay tuned for chapter two~!**_

_**~Sunny**_


	2. The First Signs

Chapter 2: First Signs

**Chapter 2 is up~~~**

**Reviews are love, and I love love C:**

**Warning for violence, angsty Roderich, and Gilbert and Lovino's mouths**

**I don't own Hetalia or its characters**

**Quick Sum: **Gilbert's friends and brother stop by for a brief visit and though Gilbert is happy to see them, he can't help but feel something's a bit off when Roderich was the last to come and talk to him. Ludwig makes it apparent that Roderich is going through some problems that the said Austrian won't name, making Gilbert worry. When he talks to his Austrian sweetheart, he asks him but Roderich won't admit to him that he was indeed not doing well, emotionally. Roderich, having all the stress and loneliness weighing down on him along with other things, Roderich is afraid of what his future holds, especially when his love isn't there to comfort him.

* * *

Gilbert was thrown against the long lunch table, sending a spur of pain jolting through his torso as his back smacked against the corners.

"Get up, you fucking freak and fight like a man!" a deep but loud voice boomed to Gilbert.

Gilbert's red eyes looked up from the floor he fell on at the large and looming figure over him, screaming for him to fight. Gilbert was happy to oblige. He took his shoulder outward and rammed the man into the wall hard enough to hear and feel the jolt of pain going through his opponent. Gilbert wasted no time standing straight and punching the man in the jaw, sending him to the floor in a heap.

The said man's name was Jerg. When Gilbert had met the man, he was warned to stay clear from him instead of a simple hello. Least to say, Gilbert didn't appreciate the welcoming and regularly got into fights with the man. Gilbert had learned from a few of the friendlier prisoners that he had been put in for assaulting his ex-girlfriend with a metal bat when she threatened to leave him. Gilbert had also been told that she survived, but just barely and lived with head trauma since then.  
Gilbert immediately classified the man as a full blown sadist because of how he beat his girlfriend and how the man seemed to live off the pain he gives to the other prisoners.  
His strength and self-proclaimed reign was tested however when Gilbert came along and told him to back off. Jerg seemed to realize that Gilbert was a Not-to-fuck-with type of guy which only pissed the man off more about Gilbert and always tried to find a reason to fight the albino, albeit a small reason, or simply no reason at all, just to see how far the albino would go as far as fighting went though he always remained unsatisfied for a while. Now Jerg was just in it for kicks (literal and pun-intended) much to Gilbert's growing anger and impatience.

Gilbert's ears rang with the cheers and jeers from the other surrounding prisoners as he kicked Jerg in the side and took a metal food tray and started smacking the man with it until Jerg grabbed a hold of the tray and pulled Gilbert to the ground, making sure he landed with a smack. Jerg pinned his forearm to Gilbert's neck and started repeatedly punching him in the face. Gilbert, already racked with pain and pinned, started kicking at Jerg's stomach. One attempt was successful and Jerg stopped punching and instead started gasping for air.

An opening.

Gilbert took this chance and punched the man upwards by the jaw, knocking the man backwards. Gilbert shot up, teeth gritted, snarling, and raged. He went down on the man with his elbow out wards, aiming for Jerg's stomach, again paralyzing him.  
Gilbert sat up and started repeating what Jerg was doing to him seconds ago.

Gilbert seemed to forget what he was doing to the man until he just barely heard a whistle erupt and silence the room of yelling and screaming. Gilbert stopped mid-punch to look behind him. The warden was there with a whistle in his mouth and fuming.

"What the hell possibly happened now!?" the middle-aged man boomed angrily, snapping Gilbert out of his rage.

"_Oh fuck."_ Gilbert thought, knowing he must have over-done it again.

He looked down at Jerg and saw the man barely breathing, bloody lips and nose, and an already swelling black eye. He slowly stood up and backed away from Jerg, his hand still balled in a fist. He un-balled it wincing as he did because of the soreness already blooming in his hand.

"Again, this excuse for a human fucking being wouldn't stop fucking with me! I couldn't just let it happen!" Gilbert protested in a still angered voice.

Though the warden wasn't one to hit a prisoner unless they really deserved it, he was real close to hitting Gilbert. Gilbert knew this, and he'd rather take Jerg and his buddies than the warden any day. Gilbert had heard rumors about the warden that a large and very strong prisoner went against the warden one time and he was sent to the hospital for a month and went through P.T because his legs were broken, one with the bones shattered because he went against the warden. Gilbert knew they were rumors but he knew better than to see if they were true.

Gilbert straightened and waited for the storm that was sure to come.

"Dammit Beilschmidt, this is the 3rd time this month!" the warden shouted.

"Technically 4th but as usual, he started it." Gilbert said lowly, hearing the fuming warden snarl.

"I don't fucking care, it happened again! Take that piece of shit to the hospital wing before I take him to an early grave!" the warden ordered the other guards who quickly obliged, one speaking in German into a talkie for a gurney.

"Beilschmidt!" the warden yelled in a commanding tone that made Gilbert swear the man was in the army at one point, which any other way made him flinch an make sure he was standing straight.

The warden heard the gurney come in and the guards put Jerg on it before hearing the gurney roll away. He sighed and massaged the bridge of his nose.

"Clean yourself up. You have visitors." He said in a calmer tone.

Gilbert gave the warden a curt nod before he rushed to the nearby bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror and saw Jerg's work: a quickly bruising cheek, a swollen and split lip, and a bloody nose. He groaned before taking a few sheets of paper towels and soaking them in luke warm water to wash the blood away.

Gilbert came out to see his guard with cuffs. Gilbert obediently put his wrists out for the cuffs to feel them lock around his wrists and his guard led him out to the visiting hall. The person he saw when he approached his booth surprised him. Lovino was just sitting there, looking as angry as usual with Ludwig and Feliciano behind him. Gilbert's guard attached ones of his cuffs to the steel bar next to him. Gilbert picked up the booth's phone and saw Lovino pick his up as well.

Though Lovino wasn't the greatest person to get along with (how he and Antonio ended up together Gilbert or anyone would ever know), they had a mutual friendship with each other because of their brothers. Though they both were the older brothers, their younger ones were generally somewhat better than them. That's mainly how Lovino and Gilbert met when they were in college. While Ludwig and Feliciano possessed wonderful grades and good relationships with people, Lovino and Gilbert weren't liked by many people if not by Gilbert's loud, obnoxious and prideful nature, it was Lovino's easily irritated and angry nature that caused the two boys at the time to fight a lot. It was when Feliciano and Ludwig met when Lovino and Gilbert met during a school rally. The two didn't start out too well because Lovino hated Gilbert for his loudness and brashness. One night, Gilbert got bored and called the aggravated Italian to drink with him and Lovino agreed because he was bored as well. When the two began talking, they found they had a lot in common what with their social life, their grades, and their brothers and how they both loved their brothers but admitted they were jealous of them in some way and after that if the two were bored at some point in time, they would go out drinking together. They would even make a weekly plan of whether to go to ones of their homes or a bar, the types of entertainment, and even which of the two could get completely wasted if they wanted too (it was generally Gilbert).

"Hey there Prussian bastard." The Southern Italian greeted in his own way, having the liberty of addressing the Eastern German man by the original country which rested east of Germany at one point which Gilbert would say 'I come from awesomeness for a country' and would almost always refer to himself as 'The awesome Prussian.'

"Ciao Gilbert! Nice to see you!" Feliciano greeted with a wave and with Lovino groaning.

"Feli, space, did you fucking forget that already?" Lovino grumbled.

Gilbert laughed.

"Hey Lovino! Did you still miss the awesome me from last week?" he asked with a cheeky grin which made Lovino scowl angrily.

"Not in a fucking million years you bastard, Feli and this potato bastard dragged me along, also cause I didn't have other shit to do." Lovino grumbled quickly in the phone, Gilbert giving him a mischievous grin.

"No I think you just missed my awesome presence." Gilbert said with his unusual laughter.

Lovino again scowled.

"Fuck off, you perverted weirdo, I just came because I was fucking dragged into it!" he argued angrily, making Gilbert laugh and Lovino growl at him.

"Shut up you aggravating fucking bastard before I stomp in there and choke the shit out of your fucking body!" the Italian threatened.

Ludwig stepped in before security was called.

"Feli, can you take your brother for something to eat? I need to talk with Gilbert alone." Ludwig told the bubbly Italian.

Feliciano smiled and nodded, his strange curl bobbing up and down with his head.

"Sure thing Ludwig! Now that I think about it, I'm pretty hungry too. I wonder if there's a pasta place nearby cause I could go for some pasta right about now! Do you want anything Ludwig?" Feliciano said so fast that Ludwig barely caught it.

He shook his head.

"Okay! See you soon Gilbert! Come on Lovi, I'm hungry!" Feliciano chirped.

Lovino groaned and stood up, waving Gilbert goodbye. Gilbert grinned when he heard the nickname Feliciano had given Lovino.

"Bye Lovi~" the German said all too sweetly which made Lovino snap his head towards him with a look that showed he was about to kill someone.

"I swear to fucking God if you start fucking addressing me like that, I'm gonna end up in this shithole for fucking assault charges cause of me kicking your fucking ass!" the Italian threatened loudly, making Gilbert bend over laughing.  
Lovino glared at him but resorted to grumbling unheard threats towards the 'Prussian' as he and Feliciano (who remained blissfully unaware of what just occurred), went to the doors leading out of the hall. Once Feliciano opened the doors, he was met with Roderich's violet and tired gaze.  
"Hi Roderich! You can go in I think now if you want!" Feliciano told Roderich with a warm smile. Roderich didn't say anything as he entered the hall, letting the Italian brothers leave.

He spotted Gilbert and Ludwig talking to each other in Gilbert's booth. Roderich had a sick feeling that it was about him which he didn't appreciate. At the moment though, he felt less caring about it because he was so tired. If Roderich had to count how many hours combined of his sleep, he'd have to say at least 8 hours all together from the entire week due to nightmares. Though Roderich had attempted to go back to sleep at night or nap in the daytime, it was impossible whether it was because he couldn't or didn't want too, he couldn't say for sure.

"Hey Roderich~" a feminine voice chirped as Roderich heard the doors close. He looked over and saw Elizabeta and her usual cheerful self.

"Hello Elizabeta. What are you doing here?" he asked nonchantaly.

"Here to see my favorite boys of course! What else could I possibly be here for?" she answered and asked innocently, receiving a Well-I-have-a-couple-ideas look from Roderich which made the Hungarian woman giggle.  
Roderich couldn't help but notice the digital camera around her neck.

"Anyway, I was around and decided to visit Gilbert and you. Ludwig told me that everyone visits him on Thursdays so I stopped by." She told Roderich.  
Roderich nodded and the two embraced.

"So wonderful to you again Elizabeta." Roderich said when they broke apart.

"Well I had to visit anyway for your birthday. I got you something really nice." Elizabeta told him with a warm grin.

Roderich raised a brow and Elizabeta's grin wavered.

"You remember your birthday's in about 3 weeks, right?" she asked, concerned.

Roderich thought for a moment until he realized what Elizabeta was talking about. Now that he thought about it, October was just around the corner and his birthday was on the 26th of October; he had forgotten because he's been so busy to worry about stuff like his birthday.

"Oh. Yes I remember." He lied.

Elizabeta raised a brow of her own, trying to decide if her Austrian friend was lying or not.

She couldn't see through him as well as Gilbert did. She took a closer look at Roderich and saw his face was paler than it usually is and there were tell-tale signs of bags under his eyes from a jumbled sleep schedule.

"Roderich are you okay?" she asked worriedly.

The Austrian looked at her and quickly nodded.

"Ja, couldn't be better." He lied again.

Elizabeta saw the lie this time and raised another incredulous brow.

"You look like you haven't slept in years." She said bluntly, Roderich taken back.

"I assure you Elizabeta, I'm fine and I'm sleeping fine." He told her just as bluntly with irritation in his voice.

Elizabeta didn't budge at the obvious irritation coming to the Austrian whom would never use such tone with her unless it was necessary like when he found out about her secret hobby. She dug through her leather purse until the shaking of a bottle filled with small objects rang lightly in her ears. She stepped closer to Roderich until she was arm and arm with him. He raised a brow and looked at her.

"What are you-"he was stopped when he felt something shoved in his coat pocket.

His eyes widened a bit.

"What did you just put in my pocket?" he asked her quickly and quietly.

"Sleeping pills." She answered simply making Roderich scowl.

"Why might I ask?" he asked, irritated.

"So you can get a whole night's sleep at some point." She again answered simply and casually.

Roderich sighed.

"I told you I'm fine. Now take your pills back." He whispered to her.

She shook her head and grinned.

"This is why I gave them to you in a prison so if you take them out, you become a sudden celebrity to the guards~" she sang too sweetly for Roderich.

He felt himself pale and take his hand out of his pocket, realizing she was right. Sometimes he wondered how strong the woman's sanity was or if she just loved teasing everybody as such.

Gilbert laughed and Ludwig smiled.

"I swear that little Italian of yours was made to be fucking funny." Gilbert told Ludwig.

Ludwig had told Gilbert of his week so far and a specific date he and Feliciano went on when they hiked around in a forest and Feliciano accidently went away from Ludwig to pick a couple of flowers for some reason and when Ludwig saw him, the cowardly Italian was ambushed by a goose and started running away with the said goose chasing him. Ludwig said it took 30 minutes to find the Italian who was high up in a tree and afraid to get down because of the height and the thought that the goose was waiting for him. With an amount of climbing and convincing, Ludwig managed to get Feliciano and himself out of the tree safely but with Feliciano clinging to Ludwig the rest of the date.

"Ja, after that, I think he'll be afraid of geese for the rest of his life" he said with a chuckle.

Gilbert wiped the tears from his eyes and looked up over Ludwig to see Roderich and Elizabeta. He beamed. Ludwig looked over to the two and back at Gilbert with a small smile.

"Well, I better find Feliciano and Lovino while you talk to them." Ludwig said to his older brother.

Gilbert nodded and waved goodbye.

"See 'ya later Luddy!" he exclaimed with a grin as Ludwig went over to the two and said something to them before hugging Elizabeta and leaving. Once he did, Elizabeta ran over to the booth and sat down, putting the phone eagerly to her ear with a wide grin.

"Holy shit I knew I spotted a familiar man in a skirt!" Gilbert laughed heartily, Elizabeta rolling her leaf green eyes playfully.

"Are you sure your talking about me?" she asked with a mischievous grin, feeling the glare and the blush Roderich was possessing.

Gilbert looked up at Roderich when Elizabeta said that with a smirk.

"I don't know~" he sang, seeing Roderich turn away and say nothing, making the albino laugh at him.

Gilbert was waiting for the irritated comment from the Austrian. When it didn't come, Gilbert's grin left and he looked at Roderich who was still turned away. Elizabeta looked at him as well, her eyebrows furrowing in worry.

"Roderich?" she gently called to the Austrian, lightly touching his arm. He looked at her and sighed.

"I-I'm sorry, that was rude of me. I've been a bit off but I will be fine." Roderich lied with a nervous chuckle.

Gilbert only worried more and Elizabeta wanted to help but had no idea how at the moment. Gilbert looked at Elizabeta.

"Hey Lizzy?" he said through the phone to get her attention which she gradually gave him.

"Why don't you step out for a moment? I'll talk to Roddy." He said through the phone.

She nodded, stood up, told Roderich she'd be right back, and left. Roderich looked at Gilbert with a knowing look and sat down.

"I know you want to talk about something Gilbert, so just say it." He said, getting to the point.

Gilbert had to admit; Roderich was never one for getting straight to the point that fast so he was a bit taken back but recovered himself to speak.

"I know as well that something is wrong Roddy, so don't try to hide it." Gilbert said, getting to the point himself.

Roderich looked at him with tired eyes. This gave Gilbert a chance to look at him closely. Gilbert noticed he was a bit paler than usual and Gilbert could see the dark circles appearing under his eyes. Gilbert also noticed his hair was a bit disheveled and not so styled like Roderich preferred it to be.

"Roddy, your hair is a bit out of place." He pointed out.

Roderich looked up at his hair and chuckled nervously before straightening it out.

"Better." He simply said.

Gilbert just looked at him, silent for a moment.

"Gilbert…your face." Roderich said worriedly, noticing the bruises and split lip.

Gilbert took no mind to his face he just focused on the fact that Roderich changed the subject quickly. Gilbert sighed in defeat, knowing he'd get nothing out of Roderich today.

"Yea got in another fight today. Sorry Roddy." He said with a cheeky grin, Roderich sighing and rubbing his face.

"Gilbert, I thought you said you wouldn't get into anymore!" he exclaimed quietly.

Gilbert's grin stayed where it was.

"Sorry Roddy, but the same fucker keeps messin' with me and I can't just let him beat the shit outta me, I'm too awesome!" he boasted, making Roderich scowl.

The two conversed for a while about small things (or Roderich scolding Gilbert for fighting and Gilbert sighing dramatically), and Elizabeta came back a few minutes after she left and conversed with them as if neither of the three had any worries like Gilbert's imprisonment or Roderich's unnamed problems. Gilbert found it peaceful all the same, but still had a sense of dread from Roderich again. He wondered why Roderich refused to say anything to anyone about what his problem was. Gilbert knew he'd have to coax Roderich into telling him what the problem was because he knew the Austrian was as stubborn as a mule and would never tell anyone of his predicaments until somebody (generally Gilbert) would convince him otherwise and most of the time, it worked.  
Though Gilbert, seeing his own predicament, he couldn't just bribe or coax Roderich as easily anymore, he had to straight out talk with him about it. Luckily, knowing himself all too well, the albino knew how to do just that. There was however a problem: Gilbert had to find the right moment to talk with Roderich during any other visits, most likely if the Austrian had a decent amount of sleep and found himself in a talkative mood.  
The reason this was a problem was because Gilbert wasn't very patient with almost anything (Roderich getting ready for a date, waiting for someone to say something when they pause mid-sentence, etc…) and even with the little bits and pieces of patience he had to learn when living and dating Roderich (who was also as impatient, mind you), Gilbert knew that this would screw his mind up due to all the thinking he was bound to do in the next week until his stubborn Austrian boyfriend fesses up to his problems and that could calm Gilbert's spirits. Right now, he just had to talk as normally as possibly to his secretive boyfriend to establish a type of normality that Roderich brought to Gilbert even when they were separated by glass.

Gilbert had to admit without question, that it was nice to have a sense of normality once in a while, looking at the place he was forced to call home.

That was until it came the time for him to go.

Gilbert could never properly explain it but he always felt a piece of him die away and his heart sink further down the black hole it was hanging over when Roderich would leave. Sure he always felt upset that his friends and brother when they had to leave, but Roderich, like the day he met him, was more special than everyone else, but Gilbert wouldn't admit it.

* * *

_The warm autumn leaves shifted in the wind as the 14 year old Gilbert was strolling through the park he and his greatest friend in the world Elizabeta would play in as children and hang out as coming teenagers, though today, she had to stay home because she got sick and cramps for some reason after Gilbert had the 'pleasure' of seeing the girl (who originally thought she was a boy a majority of her life) complain about a sore chest and start bleeding in a place Gilbert never mentioned and ultimately panicked to the point where Gilbert took her home with her jacket wrapped around her waist so no one could see what had happened. Once Gilbert had dropped her off at her house, her father told him to leave for a while. If Gilbert had to guess, his poor friend was embarrassed which he understood enough. He knew his friend would get over this and if anyone saw her in that state and made fun of her, Gilbert knew she could take care of herself as well as any boy. _

_That was only a couple days ago though and no one mentioned Elizabeta's problem so he figured everything was alright. Humming the Prussian anthem as he walked, Gilbert looked ahead and saw the softened sun hover over head on the horizon shedding its soft light on the multi-colored leaves on the ground. Gilbert found it pretty to look at honestly but when he followed the sun's light, its glow rested on a smaller figure sitting on a bench among the leaves. Gilbert stopped walking and took a closer look at the figure sitting on the bench who was yards away. It was a boy. He had never seen him before so he must have been new to this part of Gilbert's home town. He was bewildered enough to step closer to get a closer look at the boy's face. When his crimson eyes lay on the mystery boy's face, he could only describe it as beautiful. The boy had short, styled chocolate brown hair that shined like silk and his face was heart-shaped and a healthy sort of pale. Gilbert saw his clothes were pretty fancy what with his black slacks, black shoes and dark purple coat. Gilbert even saw a white scarf thing around the boy's neck to keep the delicate body part warm from cold breezes that would pass by. Gilbert took another look at his face. He had distant violet colored eyes that rested behind a pair of rectangular glasses that shined like orbs. Gilbert couldn't help but scan the beautiful boy more than once. He noticed the sun's light was shed on the boy which made it look like the boy had a golden glow about him. For a minute, Gilbert thought he was an angel. He just had to meet this boy._

_Slowly he stepped up with his hands in his jeans pockets toward the boy, making sure not to startle him and make him go away. Once Gilbert was feet away from the boy, he suddenly felt his heart skip a beat by just looking more and more at this angel. Though Gilbert knew he wouldn't easily know the angel without saying hello. So with a sort of nervous twitch of his mouth, he said it._

"_Hallo." He said with a bit of hesitation in his voice._

_The beautiful boy snapped back into reality at the accented voice greeting him and turned to Gilbert. Gilbert again felt his heart skip a beat when he had a full look at his face. He noticed the little mole on his left cheek. _

"_Hallo." The boy greeted back._

"_He has a pretty voice." Gilbert thought._

"_I've never seen you around here before. You new?" he asked with a grin._

_The boy looked at him with confusion at the grin before slowly nodding._

"_Ja, I am. I originally came from Austria." He told Gilbert who had taken a seat next to him on the bench._

"_Austria? That country is such a prissy one!" Gilbert laughed, making the boy scowl and cross his arms._

"_Austria is not a 'prissy country', it is elegant and certainly with more manners." He shot back irritated._

_Gilbert mock gasped._

"_And Germany is not mannered?" he asked in mock hurt._

_The boy looked at him with irritation in his violet eyes which Gilbert found cute for some reason._

"_No, just a certain German sitting next to me." He said, perking his nose up._

_Again Gilbert gasped in mock hurt and collapsed on the boy's lap, making him yelp and blush. Gilbert looked up at him. _

"_I can feel myself slipping away…so…slowly…from…lack of manners…" he spoke in a dramatic voice like he was dying._

_The boy looked down at him._

"_Mannerisms, and maybe you'll learn some in the afterlife." He shot which made Gilbert chuckle._

"_Need…Austrian priss…to…kiss it better…" he said, putting his arm up to reach the sky dramatically, noticing the obvious look of shock on the boy's face._

"_W-What!? No! I will do no such thing!" the Austrian screeched._

_Gilbert started laughing, his head still resting in the Austrian's lap._

"_Well I tried." He joked, making the boy scowl at him and huff._

_They were silent for a moment before Gilbert spoke up._

"_I'm Gilbert by the way. The Awesome Gilbert Beilschmidt who's 14 and from the awesome country Prussia!" he greeted, putting a hand out for a shake. _

_The Austrian looked at him with irritation but from what Gilbert could tell, he was too polite to push him away so easily. The boy then took Gilbert's hand and shook it._

"_Roderich Edelstein. I'm 12 years old and from Austria. It's a pleasure to make you acquaintance Gilbert." He greeted back._

_Gilbert thought about the name 'Roderich' and found it suited this Austrian. The more Gilbert looked at Roderich, his heart would beat faster than its usual pace and Gilbert was sure it would explode if it beat any faster. After their first meeting, Gilbert knew Roderich was special from the day he met him because on any other day when the two would cross paths albeit at school or anywhere else, Gilbert's heart would beat faster and his mood would lift._

* * *

Gilbert smiled at that certain memory. Anytime Gilbert would feel down like now, he would always think of the wonderful memories he and Roderich shared albeit funny, loving, or anything else because he shared them with this man he knew he loved with all his heart and maybe since the day he met him.

He however had yet to say it to Roderich and truly mean it with all his soul. He hoped he'd get that chance soon.

He remembered that Roderich and Elizabeta were going to leave and his happiness was shot down again.

"I'll need to go back home cause Kiku's gonna visit soon and I need it spick and span~" Elizabeta sang again too sweetly for Roderich or Gilbert's taste, knowing where a simple 'meeting' would lead too.

Gilbert swore that Elizabeta and Kiku turned into two creatures of the night (literally) with one mind that would ultimately stalk their gays friends with their partners and secretly take photos of them during intercourse which Gilbert found ultimately terrifying about the woman and her quiet Japanese male friend to the point where he would feel the need to check his home for secret cameras and keep the curtains shut if he were ever at home with Roderich alone and at night albeit if they were going to have sex or not. Roderich felt the same way, thankfully.

"Roderich, I could take you home if you want." Elizabeta offered.

Roderich shrugged.

"Thank you Elizabeta. I'll be out shortly." He told her.

She smiled, nodded, and skipped out. Roderich looked at Gilbert through the glass with the phone still his hand like he was going to say something, and he was but stopped. Gilbert saw the distant look cross his face.

"Hey Roddy?" he gently called.

Roderich blinked and looked up at him. He chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of his neck.

"O-Oh my, that's highly impolite of me." He said, trying to make an excuse of his spacing out.

Gilbert sighed.

"Roddy, go home and get some sleep. You need it." He told Roderich over the phone.

Roderich attempted to argue but Gilbert put a hand up to stop him from talking.

"No buts, no arguing, go home and get your ass in bed and go to sleep. You need it Roddy and I won't take 'No, I'm fine.' From you." He said in a gentle but equally demanding tone towards his boyfriend to get him to listen.

Least to say, Roderich was astounded at his tone that spoke seriousness which Roderich thought was a miracle from the albino in question. Roderich knew he couldn't argue with Gilbert so he just sighed and nodded.

"Alright, I'll try. But I still assure you, I'm fine." He told somewhat firmly in the phone.

The only part Gilbert got was that he would try. He gave him a curt nod.

"Good thing, cause you look like shit." He said, making Roderich sigh again.

"I get that Gilbert, you've told me before." He said nonchantaly.

Gilbert spotted Elizabeta at the doors leading out of the hall, waiting for Roderich. He looked at Roderich.

"Well, look's like you gotta go Roddy." Gilbert said, looking back at Elizabeta again with Roderich following his gaze.

"Ja it seems so." Roderich said turning back to Gilbert. Gilbert and Roderich stood up again and like last week and all the other weeks before that, they connected their lips to the glass for another make-shift kiss with the same dreadful feeling following the two as they broke it. Gilbert took one last look at Roderich and his distant look was now one of longing and sadness. Gilbert knew how it felt. Roderich turned around and left the hall. Gilbert sighed sadly and told his guard the visit was over and that he wanted to go back to his cell, the feelings of confusion, worry, sadness, and impatience circulating through his head for one man.

That said man didn't speak to Elizabeta while she drove him back to his somewhat large but otherwise comfy enough looking home. It was a white house with black shingles and a double-door front door that was colored navy blue and windows large or small almost everywhere but all with the shades drawn. The front yard was a little un-kept with the slightly longer grass but it still possessed enough homeliness with the Edelweiss flowers planted left and right of the front door which his mother had planted herself and a grown willow tree in the front yard with the branches a bit tangled in the iron gate that surrounded the house. Roderich had lived in this house since he moved here from Austria when he was 12. He shared many happy memories with his family and everyone else he loved here. He just looked at it now as a place to seclude himself instead of a home.

"Well, I'm off. You know my number so if you need anything, I'm just a phone call away." Elizabeta told Roderich with a warm smile.

Roderich looked at her and returned a small smile.

"Ja, will do." He said.

He felt her hand grasp his and give it a light squeeze before they embraced and Roderich got out of the car and opened the Iron Gate, going down the stone path to the front door. Once he stepped in his darkened home, he made no attempt to open the shades to shed light in the dark home. He just shut his door, locking it in the process and going upstairs without a word. He went into his study where he heard a chirping sound from the little yellow and fluffy bird that rested in a big enough cage for him when the little bird had heard Roderich come home. Roderich went over to the stand next to the cage and pulled out a bit of bird food.

"Hallo to you too Gilbird." He said as he filled the little bird's empty bowl full of food where the fluffy thing glided down to it and began to eat. Roderich had brought the little bird that he and Gilbert owned to his study so when he'd have to do his work, he wouldn't be so lonesome or so Gilbird's chirps could extinguish the silence that would deafen Roderich. He remembered when he and Gilbert found the little bird a about four years ago when they were simply having an innocent little stroll through the neighborhood.

* * *

"_That demon of a woman hit me in the head with a frying pan Roddy; I do NOT see that as simple frightening!" Gilbert exclaimed making Roderich sigh._

_Gilbert and Roderich were walking around Roderich's neighborhood when Gilbert started telling Roderich of the night before when Gilbert saw Elizabeta in an appliance store which he was there for as well to get more forks for his brother Ludwig because all the other forks were disappearing for some apparent reason. He was walking past an aisle with cooking pans and pots and spotted the Hungarian woman. _

"_Hey Lizzy-"he yelled happily before a large frying pan found its way to his face, making him fall backwards._

"_She was giggling as well after she apologized and still bought the damned thing!" Gilbert again exclaimed._

"_Well any other way, you scared her and she must have been acting on instinct, if nothing else, you know how she is." Roderich told Gilbert in a huff while the albino was massaging his still sore jaw._

"_Whatever, I just know she owns the damn thing and who knows what type of evil she'll do with it!" Gilbert yelled to the air, Roderich getting irritated._

_There was suddenly the sound of light chirping when the two were walking further down the sidewalk. They both stopped and listened before the chirping came again._

"_Hey Roddy, where's that coming from?" Gilbert asked. _

_The two listened again before the chirping came back from their right. The two turned that way and walked forward to see a large tree in front of them while the chirping still went on. Gilbert circled the tree until he spotted a yellow and fluffy thing on the ground. It looked like it could barely fit in the palm of Gilbert's hand. He picked it up and saw it was a small bird with a barely visible beak, beady black eyes and its obvious fluffy body. It began chirping more out of fear than anything else but Gilbert just petted its head with his finger. _

"_Hey Roddy, this little guy must've fallen from its nest!" Gilbert yelled to Roderich who was yards away. The Austrian came walking over and saw the yellow ball of fluff in Gilbert's hand. Roderich raised a brow and Gilbert stood up. _

"_I think he broke his wing or something. That's not awesome." Gilbert guessed and the bird chirped as if in agreement which Gilbert must have understood._

"_You must have little guy! Well we'll have to take care of that! Come one Gilbird!" Gilbert exclaimed with the new name he gave the bird making Roderich sigh._

"_You already gave it a name Gilbert, and one that equals to your own?" Roderich said in a disbelieving tone making Gilbert smirk._

"_Well ja! The awesome little bird needs a name that goes with awesomeness!" he said proudly before starting to walk away while conversing with the little bird and the bird replying. _

_Honestly, Roderich couldn't be more confused at the sight as he trailed behind Gilbert._

* * *

Even after the bird did indeed heal from a broken wing, it still stayed around Gilbert if not on his shoulder, then flying around his head and had become an official pet for Gilbert and Roderich had to admit, the little bird was good company though he knew he'd never establish the relationship the bird possessed with Gilbert even when he and the bird became closer due to Gilbert's absence.

"I saw Gilbert again today and he told me to get some sleep." The Austrian said to the bird.

Gilbird gave him a sort of look of agreement to Gilbert's statement to Roderich which Roderich caught and sighed.

"Even his bird agrees." He mumbled before looking back at his fluttering little companion.

"Fine, I'll try." He told the bird who resumed his flying around in the cage.

Roderich spotted the large amount of printed paper work on his desk for work. It was a lot he had to admit but he saw no motivation what so ever to do most of it. He just left the room without a word and too his and Gilbert's originally shared bedroom. Like all the other rooms in the house, the shades were drawn and the only light was the sunlight from outside shining through the curtain's fabric. Roderich went in the bathroom adjoining his room and turned the light on. He looked in the mirror and saw his distant and dead looking eyes. He just ignored them as best he could and began undressing himself to sleep. His coat came off first along with the waistcoat underneath it. Roderich then took his black slacks off along with his shoes and socks until he was only in his blue boxer shorts and one of his white dress shirts. He exited the room for a brief second to get a more comfortable shirt to sleep in.

One of Gilbert's shirts.

He didn't realize he grabbed one of Gilbert's shirts until he was unbuttoning his dress shirt. He looked away from it to keep unbuttoning his dress shirt. He had it unbuttoned enough so that the collar and shoulders sagged past his own shoulders, showing his collar bone. He looked at himself briefly and saw the iron cross necklace with the iron cross itself resting on the dip between his showing collar bones. It was also Gilbert's. He remembered Ludwig coming to his home one night with a small box of items that a security guard gave to him when Gilbert was sentenced because Gilbert couldn't have them during his sentence. The items were his I-Phone, a simple silver key-chain, and his iron cross necklace Gilbert received as a birthday gift a long time ago. Roderich wore it often after that. He didn't know why exactly, he just wore it all the time. He closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again to unbutton the rest of his shirt but stopped when he took a closer look at his own body. His torso was paler and he was thinner. He turned around to look at his back and shoulder and saw his shoulder blades becoming more obvious to the world. He also looked at his spine and it to was the same as his shoulder blades, making it more noticeable with the bone's parts poking out. Now that he thought about it, he didn't remember the last meal he had. He just pushed it off and unbuttoned his shirt completely, exposing the rest of his thinning torso. Roderich looked down and saw his ribs poking out just a bit as well. He again pushed it away and put Gilbert's black T-shirt on. Roderich looked at himself in the mirror again and saw Gilbert's shirt was a few sizes too big for him so the collar of his shirt went down past his neck and the short sleeves were very roomy and almost went to his elbows. He stepped back to look at himself more clearly. Even his long, hairless, effeminate legs showed obvious weight loss.

Roderich felt he could care less though so he just went to his bed and laid down, pulling the covers to his chest and facing away from the window. His hand grasped the iron cross around his neck before the tears that he held back started pouring from his eyes, his glasses still resting on his face. Roderich took a moment to take them off and place them gently on the night stand next to his queen sized bed where he proceeded to lat there, silently sobbing like he would do most of the time recently. He buried his pale face in a pillow to let the tears soak in the fabric, half-expecting the bed to dip to signify someone sitting on it along with a hand rubbing his back or arms to wrap him in a hug. He erased those thoughts from his head, knowing they wouldn't happen.

He was alone and he was going to sleep alone.

He was thinking about Gilbert's words to him to go home and sleep and how he wanted to argue against that statement because of the reason he had such little sleep.

Roderich didn't allow himself to sleep because of the nightmares that were sure to come and wake him up in a cold sweat or breathing heavily. The silence didn't help. He then remembered he had a CD player on his night stand that he would only allow to play classical music. He reached over and played the player to hear Mozart's Rondo Alla Turca start to play.

"_One problem solved I guess."_ The Austrian thought before feeling his eye lids start to drift close. Once they did, Roderich felt himself utter a few small words.

"Good night, Gilbert." He mumbled to himself.

He then silently fell asleep.

* * *

**I decided to try and make the chapters longer because the story seemed so liked :3 **

**I'll see when I can write the next one cause of two things:**

**I still have to post another chapter for another fanfiction of mine**

**I won't have the access or a lot of the time this week.**

**Review, favorite, follow and all that junk and read it like a boss!**

**~Sunny**


	3. Despair and Guilt

Chapter 3: Despair and Guilt

**Chapter 4 (and possibly 5) will be posted quickly~**

**Rated for future chapters.**

**Warning for violent and defensive Gilbert, violence, talks of health and mental and eating problems, cursing**

**I don't own Hetalia of its characters**

**Quick Sum So Far: **Gilbert, after another fight with a prison rival of his, is visited again by his brother and friends and Roderich the next week. Roderich however is a bit apprehensive because of his noticeable decline in health and if Gilbert would ask him about it. He and Gilbert's long time friend Elizabeta came as a surprise for Gilbert and see's this so she slips a bottle of sleeping pills in Roderich's pocket in attempt to make Roderich sleep with the Austrian refusing outright and insisting he's alright. Gilbert also notices Roderich's obvious lack of sleep and tells him as more of a command than anything else to Roderich for him to sleep and Roderich, albeit reluctantly, agrees with Elizabeta feeling victorious. Gilbert also notices that Roderich is acting strangely and it starts to plague his mind with questions of what is wrong with Roderich after the visit ends. Once Roderich is home, he prepares for a nap as Gilbert commanded (probably out of fear for Elizabeta's tactics to come if he didn't); he also sees his declining physical health after looking at his thinning body from overall lack of eating. Roderich however, ignores it.

* * *

Thankfully, the next week had gone pretty fast for Gilbert instead of the slow pace he was so used too since being incarcerated, though Jerg was again making it hard to savor because of his constant harassment. He had heard Ludwig couldn't visit him this week because their parents asked him to stop by and visit for their father's birthday which was today. It made Gilbert scowl at the thought of his parents trying to keep Ludwig away from Gilbert like he was a disease ever since they disowned Gilbert once they found out he was gay. Ludwig would have to make excuses on why he didn't have time to visit them so he could see Gilbert or even Feliciano. Gilbert felt bad for his little brother because he had to hide the fact that he too was gay and dating a man and the fact that he was doing whatever he could to keep his parents unsuspicious about his weekly visits with Gilbert. It sounded a bit stressful and hard to do but it made Gilbert feel good to know that he at least didn't lose his brother to his judgmental and overall awful parents.

Gilbert and Ludwig's parents were all for 'perfection' to which their oldest son didn't possess as a German and would generally be more disciplinary and abusive towards Gilbert because he was born albino with white hair and red eyes instead of blue eyes and blonde hair like Ludwig and that whatever he did that they dubbed was wrong, he would always pay the price. It was not the same for Ludwig though. Gilbert was seven when Ludwig was born and he remembered seeing the looks of utter happiness on both his parent's faces, though when Gilbert wanted to hold his baby brother for the first time, his parents wouldn't allow it from what Gilbert could think, it was because they must have thought that him as an albino could spread it. He was surprised that they didn't disown the boy before. Even when his parents treated Ludwig way better than Gilbert, he still possessed the 'big brother' role for him even if it was against his parent's wishes. Ludwig gladly took that into account over the time when they were brothers and even after Gilbert wasn't classified as his brother anymore. It was when Gilbert was twenty-three and with Roderich that Gilbert decided to go to his parents about his homosexuality already expecting nothing good to come out of it knowing his parents towards him. He was right of course what with his mother screeching obscenities and his father demanding him to get out of his house and never see them again. A month later, Ludwig told him over the phone that their parents finished the process of disownment and that Gilbert officially without a family. Though Gilbert was a bit hurt, he recovered from the news quickly knowing he wasn't without a family. He knew he would always have Ludwig and the Vargas brothers, his friends Francis, Antonio, and Elizabeta along with his distant friends, and Roderich.

Gilbert wondered though if his parents knew he was in prison.

"_They probably think I'm some cold-blooded killer, the bastards."_ He thought in irritation towards his parents as he was being escorted to the visiting hall again.

He knew Elizabeta and Roderich were going to visit today though so he knew he should be happy.

He wasn't.

Gilbert's mind circled with thoughts of Roderich and his health and if it was getting better or worse which had Gilbert worried to the point that he would be kept awake some nights just thinking of what Roderich would look and act the next he saw him. He didn't need to wonder for long though. As soon as he entered the visiting hall and his cuff was strapped to the steel bar mandatory for all booths, the first person he saw was Roderich sitting in his respective seat waiting for Gilbert to be seated properly as well before each taking the phone each man had with them on their own sides of the booth. Before Gilbert talked, he took a second to examine Roderich again. The dark circles under his eyes were becoming more obvious and his skin paler. Gilbert also noticed something vital: he was thinner than the last he saw his Austrian boyfriend. This was sure to hit home for Gilbert. Gilbert knew for a fact that Roderich was generally a lean man but the way his coat cuffs hung a bit loosely from his petite wrists wasn't normal if you were a twenty-four going twenty-five year old full grown man; this stroke as suspicious to Gilbert so he decided to try something to see if his suspicions were true or not.

"Hey Roddy, you know, I had the tastiest meat loaf the other day." He started, making the Austrian raise a brow at the unusual greeting.

"W-What? What are you possibly talking about Gilbert?" Roderich asked in pure confusion.

"Just sayin' I had good meat loaf. You had any tasty meals this week?" he asked hoping for a good answer.

Roderich was more than confused now. He was wondering what Gilbert was getting at if he was acting like this so suddenly. He just slowly shook his head.

"Nein, not really, I've…just been eating enough to keep me on my feet." He told Gilbert.

Gilbert wanted to believe him but his thinning body proved that his food intake has decreased perhaps to the point where Gilbert would be surprised if he spotted just a tiny morsel of fat on the man.

"_First his social intake, his sleep, and now his eating habits!? What the hell!?" _Gilbert thought furiously.

"Have you been eating right?" Gilbert suddenly blurted taking Roderich back.

"W-What!? J-Ja I have Gilbert, why are you asking?" Roderich asked confused.

Gilbert was about to answer when he spotted Elizabeta jogging over with what looked like two sandwiches in her hands.

"Here we go Roderich! Lunch!" she happily announced to the confused Austrian.

Gilbert slumped a bit in his chair but the fact that Elizabeta seemed to try and remedy the fact that Roderich may not have eaten in days made him feel better. Roderich just looked at the two with tired and confused eyes but decided not to speak. He only sighed before taking the offered food from his Hungarian friend. Gilbert felt relieved to see Roderich feign some interest in the food Elizabeta brought. Gilbert and Elizabeta started conversing normally with Roderich taking part at some points if not to talk then to blush and scold Gilbert after Gilbert made a sexual remark towards the man and then laughing at the Austrian. That was how this visit was and despite Roderich's afflictions, Gilbert felt a small sense of normality like he was talking to his friends like this before his imprisonment, before there was a sheet of glass keeping them all apart. Elizabeta felt that sense as well. She thought if she brought herself and Roderich lunch for the day, Gilbert would forget for the day about Roderich's problems and the three of them could just talk like they did before. She felt a pang of victory shoot through her.

Though like all good things, it had to come to an end. Elizabeta took her now useless sandwich wrap and threw it away as Roderich and Gilbert said their goodbyes with a few more words to each other and their makeshift kiss against the glass sheet. Roderich then started going towards the doors that entered the hall and to Elizabeta's car with half a sandwich in his hands.

"I'll be right with you Roderich." Elizabeta told him before he exited the building.

He was then sitting in her car alone with that depressing feeling crawling back along with another. Though this feeling just made him nauseous and light-headed.

Elizabeta quickly went back to Gilbert's booth, thankfully to see Gilbert was still there at her request. She took the phone to her ear where Gilbert then started asking her questions.

"How is he doing?" he asked her firstly.

"Well, he got most of his work done thankfully so his stress may have gone down some. He's still shutting himself out though I've only had small and quick conversation with him through the phone just to see if he's doing any better and again, he insists he's fine. Did you notice how thin he's getting Gil?" she explained ending with a question.

Though it dreaded Gilbert to think about it, he nodded at his Hungarian friend.

"Ja. Has he been eating correctly?" he asked receiving a shrug from Elizabeta.

"You should be asking if he's been eating at all. I saw how thin he's getting and that's why I brought lunch. At least he didn't refuse it so we should be relieved at that." Elizabeta said.

"I've talked to Ludwig about him. He suspects Roderich's depressed and overwhelmed at this point and with the obvious lack of sleep, he may be getting insomnia. Ludwig thinks it's from all the work that's been dumped on him and another thing." Elizabeta told the albino, knowing Gilbert knew what she was talking about since his younger was studying in the medical profession.

Gilbert perked at the last part.

"What's 'another thing' Lizzy?" he asked suspicious, Elizabeta thinking back.

"Ludwig also thinks he's acting like this because of your sentence. It's just a theory but it could be possible." Elizabeta told Gilbert.

Gilbert froze.

"_Roderich acting like this because of my sentence? How could I be affecting him so bad? But…no…does Roderich…miss me so much?"_ Gilbert thought, a sudden pang of guilt shooting through him.

Elizabeta saw that look of guilt cross the albino's pale face and sighed.

"I said it was just a theory Gilbert. Will it make you feel better if I get Roderich out of the house while I'm here?" she asked him.

Gilbert perked up again at that prospect and nodded quickly.

"You could try, just get him out the house for a while." He said more as a command than anything else.

Elizabeta smiled and gave him a small salute.

"Yes sir!" she said playfully before standing up.

"Anyway, I've gotta go. Kiku's coming today and someone's gotta pick him up." She said with a warm smile with hinted mischief which made Gilbert shudder.

"Bye Gil~ see 'ya later." Elizabeta said with a wave before getting her purse.

Gilbert waved goodbye as well before turning and flagging his guard to take him back to his cell. Gilbert didn't notice the pair of eyes watching him as he was being escorted away.

The first thing Roderich did when he got home, was rush to the nearest bathroom. Once he did, he doubled over the toilet and proceeded to throw his lunch up.

"_Maybe something in the sandwich was bad."_ He thought for a split second before remembering Elizabeta had the same sandwich so if it was something like rancid meat, she would be sick as well.

Once he was done, he collapsed against counter next to the toilet, panting and dizzy. He put a frail hand on his head as if to try and sooth the coming headache. It suddenly got hot in the room and he took his coat off along with his waistcoat and unbuttoning the collar on his shirt because it suddenly felt constricting against his neck. Pulling himself up on the counter and making sure his weight was distributed against his arms, he looked at himself in the mirror to look at his flushed and panting face, his violet eyes slightly dilated. He also took a look at his hands and saw they were shaking.

"_W-What's…happening to me…!" _he thought panicked.

Then he had a sudden thought. That's just what it was: panic and anxiety. But Roderich didn't remember ever having an anxiety problem and with that, he had no idea what to do. He had never had a panic attack before so what to do and how to stop it Roderich was clueless about.

Warm tears started cascading down his cheeks and his vision was getting blurrier by the second. Roderich couldn't call anyone because he couldn't stand right so he couldn't run to the nearest phone. His balance was suddenly gone in a split second and he fell to the floor again, his back now against the cold tiled floor, his chest puffing and heaving and his breath coming and hitching in hyperventilation. All Roderich could do was lay there and ride it out.

After an agonizing five minutes, Roderich started to calm down, his breath getting shallower until his breathing went back to its original pace. Roderich was just staring at the ceiling now, exhausted. All that was going through his mind now was what happened and why it did. Roderich then felt so hopeless and more alone than usual. He started to sob. He turned on his side and curled into a ball, putting his face in his hands and letting his frail body shake with silent sobs and hiccups.

"G-Gilbert… I…I n-need you…" he sobbed lowly only wishing for a certain albino to be there to comfort him.

Two days later, the said albino was already guilt ridden at the thought of Roderich's deteriorating condition being brought to the Austrian because of him. It didn't show though because he knew that the animals he was forced to live around saw this, they would take advantage of it, especially Jerg and his buddies. As Gilbert and the other prisoners were being herded outside into a large fenced area where the prisoners could have some outdoor time where Gilbert would either play basketball with some of the prisoners or just sit down and enjoy the fact that he was outside. Today was not such a day. He just sat on an unoccupied bench with thoughts in his head and feelings swirling around his heart. He just noticed Jerg approach with his other two accomplices behind him. He raised his head to look at the large man with the bruises and other injuries he sufficed from Gilbert not days ago and looking somewhat smug for some reason. Gilbert however didn't feel like dealing with him at the moment so he just kept quiet and stood to walk away. He was however stopped when a hand took him by his shoulder and roughly turned him around to face the large and intimidating prisoner.

"I don't like being ignored faggot." He growled with Gilbert paying no attention to the threat or the insult.

"Well sorry but I find anything that isn't breathing more interesting than you at the moment so if you would like that shit-face of yours to heal quicker, then you can just let my interest feign elsewhere." Gilbert shot at Jerg making the large man growl.

Jerg's mood suddenly changed at that moment, making Gilbert uneasy.

"Maybe you want that interest of yours to feign to your homo-ass boyfriend and maybe fuck him up his ass." Jerg said with venom and a poisonous grin.

Gilbert's blood ran cold and his anger was starting to boil.

"Yea I saw you talk with your gay piece of ass all lovey-dovey like and all that disgusting shit. I gotta say though, you did find yourself a pretty little piece of ass there." He shot in an insulting tone with his grin still present.

Gilbert's hands balled into fists and he grits his teeth.

"Shut your fucking mouth Jerg before shit starts to get ugly." He warned making Jerg laugh.

"Yea I wouldn't mind a piece of that ass. Maybe once I get out of here, I can go to his place and fuck him myself just to hear him cry and moan like a dying animal. That sounds like a plan, don't cha think?" he said lowly and with a loud laugh that Gilbert didn't hear since his fist connected with Jerg's jaw, knocking the man on his back.

Gilbert couldn't see clearly. All he could see was Jerg as he was fast walking up to the downed man. Jerg's accomplices tried to stop Gilbert and fight him themselves. Gilbert however didn't want to focus on them. All he did to get them away was take one guy's arm and dislocate it and take the other by the collar and punch him in the nose. Once they were down, Jerg was up and a crowd was gathering. Gilbert didn't have a care in the world right now. He just focused on beating the absolute shit of Jerg to the point where Jerg would learn not to mess with him anymore. Jerg attempted to punch Gilbert but Gilbert dodged it and his own fist connected with Jerg's stomach, knocking the air out of him. Gilbert then punched him in the throat before the man went down. Gilbert was now on top of Jerg with his fists repeatedly punching the man. Jerg again tried to grab Gilbert but Gilbert saw his little trick and grabbed his arm by the forearm and elbow before bending it backwards, a loud snap being heard along with Jerg's scream of pain. Gilbert's elbow then connected with Jerg's collar-bone, hearing the snap that came with the impact. By now the crowd had silenced while Gilbert was beating Jerg within and inch of his life. It wasn't long until Jerg was well over the point of passing out but Gilbert's rage kept him from seeing that he had done enough to the man. He felt two arms grab his own. He struggled to get out of the sudden grip, kicking at Jerg before he felt the cold grasp of cuffs go around his wrists. Then a sudden fist connected with his jaw and Gilbert snapped out of his rage-induced trance to see the fuming warden unravel his fist.

"Take him to the hospital wing and take him to solitary confinement!" the man ordered. The two guards then started to escort Gilbert to the said hallway while the unconscious Jerg was again being taken back to the hospital wing with more injuries than the last time.

"A broken arm and nose and a broken in three places collarbone!? What the hell was going on Beilschmidt!?" the warden screamed at Gilbert who was at an interrogation room three hours later.

"I guess I couldn't take his shit anymore! He really stepped my boundaries today and I couldn't let that piece of shit keep doing it!" Gilbert argued.

The warden slammed a fist on the table.

"That doesn't give you the right to break the man more than you should have!" the warden yelled making Gilbert flinch.

The two were quiet for a moment with the warden sighing and rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"You can't keep beating the shit out of the other prisoners Gilbert, you'll kill someone if you do." The warden said in a calmer tone.

"Look, sorry, okay, but I can't let them walk all over me." Gilbert told the warden.

"I'm not saying that, just don't immediately beat the shit out of them when they piss you off." The warden told Gilbert with obvious irritation.

"Now you get a week in solitary confinement while shit for brains is in the hospital. Something like this happens again Beilschmidt, I don't know what the fuck I'll do, I just know your gonna get anger management classes if you do." The warden told him making Gilbert sigh.

"Seriously is that really necessary?" Gilbert asked the warden.

"I need to keep a somewhat model prison here so yes it is Beilschmidt so deal with it." He snapped.

Afterwards, Gilbert was taken to solitary confinement, a narrow hallway where the overly violent prisoners stay and where Gilbert would join them for the next week and a half.

"_This sucks."_ Gilbert thought as his cuffs were taken off and he entered the small and almost all white room with nothing but a bed and a toilet and the door behind him closed and locked. He went over to the bed and sat down and sighed, rubbing his face with the hand he used to beat Jerg. It was bandaged because he apparently injured it while he was beating the hell out of Jerg. He had to admit, he must have done something to it because it was awful sore. He laid back and stared at the ceiling, thinking of how he couldn't visit Roderich for next week. He only hoped Elizabeta would be able to help him out a bit. Those were the only thoughts in his head as he slowly drifted off to sleep with a throbbing hand and jaw.

The next week came and Elizabeta was in Germany for a few more days with her friend Kiku Honda, a young Japanese man she had met five years back when he visited Germany to see Ludwig for his birthday at request for Feliciano. Elizabeta saw that apparently he knew the two somehow and decided to try and talk to him. He was hard to befriend at first but after Feliciano had ran past Elizabeta and pushing her in the process and knocking her box filled with her other friend's sexy intercourse pictures out of her hands and the pictures spreading. Kiku was polite so he helped her pick them up and saw what type of pictures they were. The two conversed more after Kiku nursed his nosebleed and asked Elizabeta to send her copies of the pictures which she gladly did for him. Afterwards, the two would send each other pictures they took of their gay friends and would meet to go over them and take more if possible. Right now though, Elizabeta, Ludwig, Kiku and Roderich were again going in the prison to visit Gilbert again since it was a Thursday. Roderich stayed quiet and behind everyone. He told no one of his panic attack thinking it was only a first-time occurrence that would never happen again. Also after Roderich tried to eat that sandwich Elizabeta gave him on his last visit, anytime he'd eat something as big as the sandwich, he would throw it all up. Roderich's new diet consisted of liquids and small bits of food here and there. He again, told no one.

Elizabeta and Ludwig noticed he was getting thinner though. Ludwig and Elizabeta remember the conversation they both had about it and they suspect he is becoming bulimic. Ludwig had heard Roderich at one point throw up his food in a public bathroom while he, Feliciano, Elizabeta, Kiku, and Roderich were out at a park as request of Elizabeta for Roderich to leave his house.

Ludwig was at the front desk where a middle aged man sat.

"Hallo. We're here to visit one of the prisoners." Ludwig started.

The man sat straight and turned on his computer and pulled up a list of prisoner names and numbers.

"The name?" he asked.

"Gilbert Beilschmidt. I'm his brother Ludwig." Ludwig told him.

The man looked for Gilbert's name. He stopped at a point and picked up the phone next to him to call the warden in request for Gilbert. He conversed with the warden for a few moments before hanging up and looking at Ludwig.

"I'm sorry but he's currently unavailable at the moment. The warden says you can come back next week." He told Ludwig.

Ludwig blinked, confused.

"What? What do you mean he's unviable?" he asked.

Roderich overheard him.

"I mean he apparently got in some trouble and is currently in solitary confinement. He'll be out next week though. The warden told me he beat the shit out of somebody for some sort of reason." The man said to Ludwig.

Ludwig was silent for a moment before sighing.

"Alright thank you." He said before turning to his friends and boyfriend.

"Gilbert's unavailable for the week. We can't see him for today." Ludwig told them.

Feliciano whined a bit and Roderich was silent.

"W-What? But why?" Elizabeta asked.

"Apparently, he did something to get himself in solitary confinement and he can't see anyone during that time." Ludwig told her.

She looked down a bit sadly and Ludwig put a gently hand on her shoulder.

"The man said he'd be out next week." Ludwig told her.

"First of all, I won't be here next week. Second of all, if your theory proves true, what about Roderich?" she asked.

Ludwig looked over at the quiet Austrian and thought about the Hungarian woman's words. He sighed knowing what she was saying was true.

"I'll talk to him at some point about it." He proclaimed to her.

She beamed a bit.

"Good. Maybe you can get something out of him. He's so stubborn sometimes." She said with Ludwig agreeing.

Roderich then walked up to the two.

"I'll take my own way home." He told the two.

Ludwig and Elizabeta looked at him with raised brows.

"Are you sure you want to Roderich?" Ludwig asked.

"I'll be fine on my own to get to my own home you two." He said to the two, irritation crawling up on him before he promptly turned around and left the building.

Ludwig and Elizabeta sighed and without a word, left with their respective partners put of the prison, Roderich hailing a taxi as they came out.

Ludwig waited until Elizabeta was going back home to talk to Roderich. The twenty year old German man went through the Iron Gate and up to the navy blue front doors and knocked two times.

No answer.

He again knocked two times.

Again no answer.

Ludwig knocked again.

No answer again.

Ludwig was suspicious. Generally Roderich would answer after the second knock. Ludwig figured it wouldn't hurt to go in and see if Roderich was even home. Knowing the door was unlocked, he opened it slowly.

"Roderich?" he called.

He received no answer. He steadily came inside and shut the door.

"Roderich?" he called again receiving no answer.

He went through the living room area to see the shades on the windows were drawn. Roderich was not in it of course.

"Roderich?" he called again.

He heard a soft thud somewhere nearby upstairs. He went upstairs and called Roderich's name again. He heard the thud again as he got closer to the upstairs master bathroom. He came up to the doors and was going to knock but he heard a noise. His ear then went against the door to hear well. The noise he was hearing sounded like someone gasping for air. Ludwig's eyes widened and he turned the knob to open the door to see it was thankfully unlocked. The sight that greeted him was Roderich shaking against the counter, hyperventilating and numerous circular pills surrounding his body on the floor.

"Roderich!" he yelled immediately going to his side and grabbing him by the shoulders. It didn't take a medical professor to see he was having a panic attack.

"Roderich, I want you to listen to me: I want you to slowly breathe in through your nose and breathe out through your mouth." Ludwig told the Austrian as calmly as he could, placing a hand on his back.

It took a few attempts but Roderich was able to do as told and breathe in through his nose and out through his mouth until his breathing was able to go back to its original pace. Ludwig gently patted Roderich's back when he felt something poke at his hand. He gently rubbed his back once to feel something bony again feel its way to Ludwig's hand. Ludwig's blood ran cold when he realized it was Roderich's spine. Ludwig looked over at Roderich torso. He hadn't seen that Roderich's shirt was completely unbuttoned and exposed the front of his torso. The first thing Ludwig saw on the man's torso were his ribs exposing themselves through Roderich's pale white skin. Ludwig also saw how Roderich's hip bones were poking out as well. His eyes widened again and he stood up with Roderich's arm in his hand.

"I'm taking you to the hospital." He said firmly.

He received no complaint from the Austrian as they left his house and got into Ludwig's car and drove to the hospital.

Two and a half hours later, Ludwig was sitting in the waiting room of the local clinic with Feliciano sitting next to him whom he'd called to tell him he would be late for their dinner because he had to take Roderich to the hospital and said Italian rushed over and the German was bombarded with questions from the Italian about why Roderich was in the hospital. Soon Roderich's doctor came out and Ludwig and Feliciano stood up.

"Well?" Ludwig started noting the doctor's concerned expression.

"Well first off, it was a good thing you came when you did because sure enough he took more pills than he should have. He told me he didn't mean to take so many and that he was taking them to tone down his coming anxiety which obviously didn't work. He threw them all up earlier thankfully after I gave him a small cup of ipecac." The middle-aged doctor told Ludwig.

Ludwig sighed in relief knowing Roderich was going to be okay.

"Anything else?" he asked.

"His weight is a different story. He says he's been eating but I hear that all the time from bulimics so I would have to guess he is starting to gain bulimia. A nurse was told to give him a biscuit and after he ate it, he immediately threw it back up. Like you've told me, he's stressed that's obvious but his stress has also brought him to a depressed state which must have lead to his declining food intake and ultimately giving him bulimia as a sign of saying he doesn't want to eat. The next problem is his sleep schedule. I made him admit to me that he hasn't been sleeping for a while because he says he has nightmares a lot of the time that are apparently terrifying to him which isn't helping him at all." The doctor said, giving Ludwig the diagnosis he thought he'd hear.

"So you're essentially saying his body is shutting down on itself?" he asked receiving a nod from the doctor.

"Absolutely. You're smart for your age. Anyway, yes that is what I'm saying. Something caused him to essentially turn himself off, refusing almost all the essential needs a person has to have. Obviously this didn't come randomly. Do you have an idea on how he ended up in this state?" the doctor suddenly asked.

Ludwig knew exactly what the problem was but he couldn't just tell the doctor that Gilbert's incarceration was the problem to Roderich's deteriorating health it simply wouldn't make that much sense to the doctor. He just shook his head making the doctor sigh.

"Well that's a bummer. Anyway, I'm going to prescribe him some anti-depressants, make sure he takes three pills over the course of the day. Also, make him eat but nothing big. Let him eat small things at a time and the rest will come shortly after a period of time hopefully. Also, to tone down his stress levels, he needs rest so if he had any work that needs to be done, it'll have to be put on hold for a while." The doctor told Ludwig.

Ludwig knew of the amount of work he had put on hold for a while and that he had to catch up on at some given point.

"Ja he actually has put off a lot of work. I'll make sure its over with so he doesn't have to worry about it." Ludwig said receiving a nod of approval from the doctor.

"Out for your friends I see. Anyway fill these prescriptions for him and make sure he takes the right dosage every day. Now I believe you should get him home so he can rest. He needs to sleep." The doctor ordered Ludwig receiving a curt nod.

"Will do. Is he in there?" Ludwig asked.

The doctor nodded.

"He's ready to leave." He proclaimed.

Ludwig thanked him and went towards the room Roderich was in. Sure enough he was sitting in a chair when Ludwig entered waiting to leave. He looked up at Ludwig when he entered.

"Let's get you home where you can rest, doctor's orders." Ludwig told him.

Roderich sighed a bit and stood up and left the room without a word. Ludwig and Feliciano followed him out to the car where Ludwig drove back to Roderich's home. Once he pulled up in the driveway, Roderich got out of the car and went inside his house. Ludwig turned to Feliciano.

"Feli, I'm going to pick up Roderich's prescriptions. Please stay here and watch over him until I get back. I'm also going to be staying for the night to keep a watch on Roderich." He told the little Italian making him perk.

"Okay Ludwig! I'll stay with Roderich! But can I also stay the night? He's my friend too!" Feliciano asked with his naïve but happy smile which Ludwig knew was always used on him if Feliciano really wanted his approval.

"Alright fine you can stay as well." Ludwig said to his Italian boyfriend.

Feliciano cried in victory and gave Ludwig a kiss on the cheek before getting out of the car and skipping towards the house. The slightly blushing Ludwig then pulled out of the driveway to the pharmacy to pick up Roderich's prescriptions.

The first thing Roderich did when he entered his home was go into his room, ignoring the bouncy Italian that had followed him inside. He shut his door and locked it. He went over to his bed and lay on his side. He knew he should take his doctor's advice and rest but he didn't want to out of fear of the nightmares. It was hard to rest knowing you'll soon wake up anyway in a cold sweat and panting. Roderich turned over to face his clock. The red and digital numbers read 9:30 P.M. He sighed and took his glasses off and set them on the night stand and reaching over to turn his CD player on with the classical music disc still inside it. Beethoven's 9th Symphony started playing at a low volume. Roderich just lay on his side facing the clock and the CD player for what he thought was the longest time until he heard his front door open signifying Ludwig had come back from the pharmacy judging from the happy cry that emitted from Feliciano downstairs. Again Roderich just ignored it. He just wanted to let the sound of Beethoven's music capture his ears before he slowly drifted off into oblivion without him knowing it. When he did, he was clutching Gilbert's iron cross around his neck.

Two days went by before Gilbert was able to go back to his own respective cell. As he was, he was shot some wary looks as he passed the other prisoners with Gilbert already knowing why.

"_At least some of these dirt bags won't fuck with me again I bet."_ He thought as he was put in his cell. Gilbert sat on his bed with a creaked neck from sleeping on the uncomfortable bed in solitary confinement and his hands still sore.

"Least I taught that bastard a lesson." Gilbert smirked to himself thinking of how his hand was so sore.

A few hours went by before a guard came up to his cell door, making Gilbert look up.

"Beilschmidt, you got a visitor." The guard said.

Gilbert raised a brow at that statement knowing everyone he knew always visited on Thursdays and seeing as how it was Tuesday, Gilbert had two theories: it was urgent or someone just missed him. Gilbert slowly stood up and went to the open cell door for his hands to be cuffed and to be escorted to the visiting hall. Gilbert sat down on his chair as his cuff was locked around the steel bar. He then saw a familiar head of slicked back blonde hair walk towards the booth and sit down and pick up the phone. Gilbert inspected Ludwig and saw he was obviously tired.

"Why do you look so tired Luddy?" Gilbert asked with Ludwig looking up at him.

"I've was up all last night doing work." He answered.

Gilbert chuckled.

"Geez Luddy I knew you had a lot of school work to do but did your professor hate you on a certain day or something?" he joked.

Ludwig looked at him seriously.

"It wasn't my work I was doing Gilbert." He told Gilbert.

This caused Gilbert to cease his chuckling.

"Not yours? Who's?" he asked.

"Roderich's" Ludwig answered.

Gilbert was taken aback.

"Roderich's? Why?" he asked again.

Ludwig sighed and prepared for something.

"Roderich had to go to the hospital a couple days ago Gilbert because I found him in the middle of an anxiety attack and an accidental overdose." Ludwig told Gilbert.

Gilbert's blood ran cold and he froze for a moment before talking again.

"H-He…went to the hospital for…an anxiety attack and…an accidental drug overdose?" he asked slowly and non-believing.

He received a nod from his younger brother. Gilbert couldn't believe it.

Roderich ending up in the hospital for an anxiety attack and an accidental drug overdose? Gilbert started to question how much Roderich was deteriorating and how bad it was if it lead to hospitalization from events such as those. Gilbert then started to question Roderich's will to live and suddenly wondered if the drug overdose was accidental or not.

"_Dear God Roderich…you wouldn't want to kill yourself…do you?" _He thought suddenly afraid for Roderich.

"Is he okay?" he quickly asked Ludwig.

To his relief, he received a nod.

"Ja he's fine for now. He's been in his room for two days though. His doctor said he's stressed, depressed, sleep deprived and bulimic. I've been helping shorten the amount of work he has and trying to make him eat anything his doctor told me to try and get him to eat." Ludwig told Gilbert, taking the albino man aback once more.

"D-Depressed? Bulimic? B-But how!?" he asked frantically.

"Calm down. The doctor told me that this was caused by something that apparently is weighing down on him more than anything." Ludwig said.

Gilbert thought if his blood would freeze anymore than it did, he would become an icicle. After hearing that statement, Gilbert thought it would be soon. The albino had the sickest feeling that he was the cause, that his incarceration was the cause. It somehow made sense though. 2 ½ years of the stress of someone you love being locked somewhere for a ten year period and having everything suddenly dumped on you sounded hard as it was but Gilbert was put in for a crime he didn't commit and he knew every single responsibility was dumped on Roderich the minute Gilbert was arrested and put on trial. Roderich was stubborn though so there was no way in hell would he ever show all that stress until it was all too much to handle and it came crashing down on him like it was now. The thing Gilbert was afraid of was how it would affect him. He would have never guessed it would have put his life in jeopardy. Gilbert felt he was the one to put Roderich in such a position. He just didn't know what to do about it, he knew he couldn't just get a parole deal there was no chance of it in his case.

Ludwig saw how quiet Gilbert had gotten in realization.

"Gilbert I'm sorry, really I am. We'll try as hard as we can to make sure Roderich is alright. I know how much he means to you." Ludwig told Gilbert lowly through the phone.

Gilbert looked at his brother, worry and guilt etched onto his pale face. He sighed and leaned his head in until his forehead was against the sheet of glass.

"Luddy…I feel hopeless. I know it's my fault he's like this and I just don't know what to do." Gilbert said to Ludwig, finally admitting his feelings of hopelessness for his Austrian sweetheart.

Ludwig had only seen this very few times from his elder brother so this was uncommon for the German and it was always a bit awkward because Ludwig was usually the one of the two to tell his brother of his feelings and Gilbert was the one of the two to comfort and try to help him.

"It's not your fault Gilbert. Trust me if I could get you out of here and take you to see Roderich I would but unfortunately God hasn't given me that power." Ludwig said trying to be comforting.

Gilbert was silent for a moment, thinking about what Ludwig had just said. Then it suddenly clicked.

'Out of here.'

'See Roderich.'

Gilbert's eyes widened and his head snapped up.

"That's it! I know what I should do! I need to get out of here and see Roderich!" he proclaimed to his brother, the younger taken aback and confused

"What?"

"I need to get out of this hellhole and see Roddy! Oh my God Luddy you're a genius!" Gilbert exclaimed to Ludwig in an excited tone that left Ludwig more confused.

"Brother I don't understand what you're getting at." Ludwig said with confusion.

Gilbert just looked at him, a grin present on his face.

"What I'm talking about is escaping and getting out of this shithole and get to Roddy! That's the most awesomest plan you've ever come up with Luddy!" Gilbert exclaimed quietly so the guards couldn't hear him.

Ludwig raised a brow at Gilbert.

"I wasn't implying anything like that Gilbert. Also you can't escape this place, it's a fortress essentially not to mention heavily guarded Gilbert, it's impossible. It is somewhat funny to say though." Ludwig said with a chuckle making Gilbert's grin melt away.

"_He thinks it's a joke. Dammit Luddy!" _Gilbert thought.

He then had another sudden thought that made him grin mischievously.

"_I'll surprise him after I see Roddy and tell him of my awesome escape. Then who'll be laughing now Luddy!?"_ he thought wanting to laugh evilly.

"Yea sorry, just trying to put a bit of humor into a shitty situation." He said with a laugh.

Ludwig chuckled and checked his watch before sighing.

"I need to go Gilbert." Ludwig told his older brother.

"Aw damn Luddy. Well, see 'ya later then." Gilbert said with a grin and a wave again leaving Ludwig utterly confused about the sudden change in behavior.

Ludwig just shrugged it off and left the building with Gilbert going back to his cell. Once Gilbert was back in his cell, he saw it was only 2:00 P.M

"_Enough time to formulate a plan."_ He thought with a smirk.

Though Gilbert knew what he was doing, he also knew it was dangerous especially since he knows the warden roams the halls at night to check up on the prisoners with some of the other guards and Ludwig was right. Gilbert knew he had only seen a part of the entire building so he didn't know the full scale of the place so it would be hard to go around the prison without making any wrong turns or finding enough hiding places or even an exit.

Gilbert knew this wouldn't be some picnic and he couldn't afford to screw it up. All that mattered at the moment was getting home, getting to Roderich. In all honesty, Gilbert was scared of what his Austrian would do to himself the more Gilbert was here. Many thoughts about Roderich circled his mind and they weren't pleasant ones. Gilbert was afraid he might go so far gone he won't even distinguish reality from fantasy anymore, or even start cutting himself with a knife or a razor, or worse, kill himself with whatever means necessary. Gilbert didn't want to think about that.

"_This is the reason you're even thinking about escaping you clueless bastard! You can't just sit here while he slowly ebbs away. You gotta see him and hopefully help him from this shit. You need too." _Gilbert thought before taking in what he was going to do that night.

* * *

**And curtain down, there's chapter 3~**

**Chapter 4 should be here relatively soon if my apparent writers block clears :I**

**By the way, if anyone is offended ay the panic attack scenes I am sorry about that. I described a panic attack from my point of view so yea.**

**Shit's about to really hit the fan in the next chapter!**

**That's all I'm giving you about it :3**

**~Sunny**


	4. Risking Life For A Dying Angel

Chapter 4: Risking Life for a Dying Angel

**Stay tuned for chapter 5~**

**Rated for future chapters**

**Warning for violence (obviously), cursing, blood, some gore**

**I don't own Hetalia or its characters**

**Quick Sum So Far: **Roderich's condition continues to worsen but he refuses let anyone know, especially Gilbert. Ludwig and Elizabeta are suspicious about the Austrian and have already made a deduction about his steady deterioration by linking it to Gilbert and they do all they can to help. Ludwig realizes that Roderich's condition is reaching life-threatening heights when he finds the secretive Austrian in the midst of an anxiety attack, surrounded by prescription pills, and almost sickeningly thin sometime after they find out Gilbert is in solitary confinement for a fight that didn't end well. With a much needed hospital trip and Roderich's doctor giving Ludwig all the information he needed, Ludwig see's that Roderich's life hangs in the balance as time goes on and he knows exactly why. Ludwig tells Gilbert of this news; Gilbert now see's how dire Roderich's situation is and begins to feel guilty and hopeless about it, however when he finds himself more lost, Ludwig gives him an idea: escape the prison. Though Ludwig doesn't believe he can accomplish that feat, Gilbert is dead set on making it happen out of longing to see Roderich and fear of what the Austrian would do as time went by the longer he is incarcerated.

* * *

It was almost 2:00 A.M when Gilbert had begun to set his plan in motion. The plan itself seemed somewhat simple:

Get out of his cell via a guard taking the night-shift unlocking the cell door.

Take the guard's uniform to pose as him.

Find a way to the warden's office to grab his keys to the whole prison.

Find one of the many exits and leave.

"Awesome." He muttered in silent victory with a fist pump.

Hours before, Gilbert's mind had been swirling with possible escape plans he had seen in various movies and TV shows before he got into prison. Though he had thought of a few good ones such as digging his way out, taking a guard hostage and demanding release, or simply storming out with a few guns in his possession, they all had a flaw such as the fact that digging would take too long, and he wanted to remain off the news as a raving psychopath who escaped prison after killing everyone and Gilbert didn't want to resort to that at all. It didn't help that most of the prison staff and especially the warden were smarter than they looked. Around 10:00 P.M though, he struck an idea that he should get his way to the hospital wing with a fake heart attack. What better way than to fake your life suddenly in danger and someone having to get you help? Gilbert prided himself for a moment after that because he was sure no one would ever think of that.

Gilbert slowly and silently got out of his bed so as not to wake the neighboring prisoners or to strike suspicion to any of the night-shift guards. His crimson eyes scanned around the cell block to see that there were already four night-shift guards. He heard footsteps coming toward his direction. He smirked silently and slowly tip-toed over to the side of his bed and went on all fours.

Phase one.

Gilbert then took a hand and clutched the area of his heart and started gasping loudly for air he didn't really need.

"_Thank God for those stupid fucking CPR classes I had to take."_ He thought deviously as he heard the footsteps go into a jog towards his cell.

"Hey Beilschmidt, you alright?" a masculine voice asked the albino.

Gilbert felt he could roll his eyes knowing that this was one of the new guards of the prison Parker Lutz and Gilbert knew that he was a bit of a dumbass. He however pretended to try and suck in more unneeded air and turned to Lutz slightly and with heavy movement, tried to go towards the already shocked Lutz. He reached the iron doors and grasped one of the bars.

L-Lutz…I…t-think I'm…having a…heart attack…!" he said through gritted teeth and pretend gasps for air.

He managed to see the young man's face go into shock and curse under his breath before looking around frantically.

"Lutz…calm the fuck…down…t-take me to…the hospital…wing…now!" he ordered, his voice sounding out of air.

Again lucky for him, Gilbert knew Lutz was a bit stupid (maybe not a bit in Gilbert's mind), so he knew that his plan might go well since phase one of the plan was already considered complete to him after Lutz quickly took his key ring and looked for Gilbert's cell key. Once he found it, Lutz quickly unlocked Gilbert's cell and went to the albino's side to sling his arm around Gilbert's shoulders and help him stand before he left Gilbert's cell and started going to the hospital wing with the approval of the other night-shift guards. Gilbert inwardly smirked.

Phase two.

Gilbert knew that the hospital wing in itself was a whole other part of the prison so it should only be right that there should be bathrooms there. Gilbert sort of did go to the hospital wing regularly and he remembered the employee bathrooms that were close to one of the recovery rooms. While Gilbert kept his façade up, he spotted what he was looking for across 'Recovering Room B' labeled 'Men's'. He also realized that Lutz was on the same side the 'Men's' bathrooms were on.

"_Now for the big show."_ Gilbert thought before looking around to see no one was in the hallway and then taking two fingers together and pushing them into a pressure point, quickly paralyzing Lutz from most of his body movement.

Gilbert then quickly covered Lutz's mouth before he could yell for help and dragged himself and his temporary captive into the men's bathroom and closing the door. Gilbert made sure to keep his fingers pressed on the pressure point on his neck while he took the paralyzed man into a stall. Gilbert then sat him on the toilet present and with a swift movement, brought the dome of his forehead down on Lutz's forehead, instantly knocking the man out.

"_And thank God for those awesome karate moves! Damn I'm awesome!" _he thought triumphantly before realizing he was starting to get a small headache.

Gilbert removed his blue prison jump suit in favor of Lutz's uniform. Gilbert and Lutz were about the same size as far as the uniform went so it was easy to put on for Gilbert. Once Gilbert finished tying the black knee-high steel toes and buttoning the dark navy blue jacket, he stepped back to inspect himself in the mirror. Gilbert made sure everything was correct so as to keep suspicion from others at bay. He tucked his black dress shirt in his dark navy blue slack pants and strapped the black belt around his waist and added the items Lutz needed to posses on it: a flashlight, the ring of keys made only for opening cell doors, and a holster carrying a loaded pistol. He even made sure the black tie was properly in place as he dressed himself in the stolen attire while Lutz remained with only a white t-shirt and his boxers in the still locked stall unconscious with Gilbert's discarded prison suit thrown hastily over him. Gilbert inspected himself again and saw he looked like any other type of prison guard now. He grinned at himself in the mirror.

"_Damn it's been a while since I've worn something other than a damn jump suit. I still got that sexy and awesome body that can fit into anything."_ He thought while looking at his new look and ultimately admiring it.

"_Damn it snap out of it Beilschmidt, you gotta escape, not look hot at the moment."_ He thought again before putting on the black leather gloves and the navy blue and black officer's hat which he lowered to keep his crimson eyes covered. With a triumphant smirk, he picked up the discarded night stick, folded his arms behind his back, and confidently stepped out of the silent bathroom.

Phase three.

Once Gilbert stepped out, the hallway was still quiet and empty. Though he knew this was helpful in his plan, he again faces one other problem: exactly where the warden's office was in the large prison. Gilbert had to think for a moment before he thought of a place to find a map of the whole prison. The only place Gilbert could guess was somewhere here in the hospital wing. He remembered seeing one of the guards go into a separate room from all the other recovery rooms when he had to come here one time after another fight with Jerg. With that thought, he started walking around the hospital wing with his officer's hat shadowing his face. Gilbert had made numerous twists and turns in the wing searching for the tag next to the doors that held the growing piles of prisoner hospital visits that would make themselves printed on the records of the other prisoners in case they were ever on a parole deal's doorstep unlike Gilbert whom he believed had his record put in two files because of his own behavior. He tried to base his sighting of the tell-tale record room out of basic memory when he was at one point being rolled to a clinic nearby the room for a broken leg. He only passed that room one time though so it was hard to really distinguish the location of the room.

"Dammit." He mumbled leaning against the wall which mysteriously disappeared making the albino fall backwards.

With a yelp and his arms reaching for anything to grab, Gilbert found himself landing on his back on a hard tiled floor. He groaned in pain before he sat up and sighed. Then he sighed again. And again. Now he was sniffing around at a putrid smell.

"Rubbing alcohol?" he mumbled to himself before standing, wincing a bit as he did.

He looked around in the darkened room, the light from the hallway coming through the opened door being the only illumination to see that he was in one of the recovery rooms once he saw the row of inhabited beds and beeping machines.

"Ah hell." He mumbled in annoyance rubbing the bridge of his nose.

Gilbert had a mind to leave the room until he spotted what looked like a counter in the far left corner of the room with drawers. This instantly interested the albino.

"_Gotta start somewhere."_ He thought going over to the counter.

Gilbert had opened the first drawer to see it was only filled with empty and unused syringes and medicine cartages. With a curse under his breath, he slammed the drawer and checked the one next to it to see it was filled with the same thing. Gilbert found himself groaning out of irritation before he checked the bigger one below. Sure enough, it too was filled with more medical supplies that Gilbert found absolutely useless. He growled lowly in irritation and impatience before checking the other bigger drawer on the left. When Gilbert saw it was filled with paperwork alike, Gilbert thought he found gold. He started digging through the filled drawer to the point where he was throwing any useless files and paper on the floor next to and around him. It was when he reached the bottom of the drawer when he felt like he could celebrate and dance around happily while laughing after he laid crimson eyes on the folded paper at the bottom of the drawer. He almost did so when he opened the folded paper to see a well laid out mapping of the whole prison. Though it was only on paper, it still astonished Gilbert about the layout of the map.

"_Ludwig was right. This damn place is a fortress." _Gilbert thought as he looked at the many small and large rooms and halls along with the four cell blocks that pretty much dominated the map's layout as well as the prison itself. Gilbert looked at the outer perimeter of the prison to see it was encircled with what Gilbert could guess was security fences like any prison should possess. Gilbert had expected this unfortunately and this was where his plan was stumped. He would have to think about that later though and focus on the room he was looking for on the map.

Through much scanning in the map, Gilbert had an idea of where the warden's office was which could be close. It required him going through a couple of the cell blocks though. Gilbert folded the map up and put it in his pocket when he heard a door not to far from the recovery room he was in. His crimson eyes widened and he stuffed the map in his pocket and proceeded to stuff the files he went through into the drawer before slowly closing the drawer and then crept to one of the beds. A curtain was hanging from the occupied bed from each side. This gave Gilbert enough cover as he slipped slowly under the bed once he heard the booted footsteps enter the recovery room most likely wondering why the door to the room was open. Gilbert squeezed himself in as far as he could under the bed which unfortunately was cramped with some types of machinery that could shift the bed's position. Gilbert thought as long as it was able to keep a full grown man from sight it could work much to his displeasure. Gilbert watched from under the cramped bed to see what he expected to see: booted feet walking across the recovery room and shining a flashlight around the room to check and try to find anything suspicious. Gilbert held his breath and tried to quietly inch backwards more into the under bed away from the flashlight's shine.

It felt like time had slowed for Gilbert; the guard taking a damned long time to check the room before shrugging and leaving, closing the door behind him. Gilbert let out a sigh he kept in before quietly slipping out from under the bed and standing and stretching his back and legs.

"_Stealthy as hell. I better thank Alfred at some point for those damn stealth games."_ Gilbert mentally said with a grin.

Gilbert left the recovery room once he was sure the guard was gone and started going towards his own cell block, Cell Block C. He stood straight and proper like he'd seen the prison guards stand for 2 ½ years to see if the others could pass him off as one as he entered the long ways double floored cell block. Gilbert counted the guards and counted at least 5 at best.

"_Shit."_ He thought before pulling the brim of his hat down to cover his eyes.

He turned his flashlight on quickly and walked like the other guards in the cell block did and walked briskly forward, trying his damndest to keep the other guards from seeing his face. Gilbert didn't imagine that the warden had hired an albino prison guard overnight so he doubted the sudden appearance and claim wouldn't raise some brows. With the brim of his cap shadowing and ultimately covering his face, Gilbert did as the guards were doing and keeping his flashlight on the sleeping prisoners in their cells to imitate the watchful eyes of the prison they all live in. Gilbert had to admit the new perspective of the other prisoners from outside was somewhat intriguing and strange for some odd and apparent reason. Either way, Gilbert turned his focus back to his goal and kept going the same pace as the fellow guards in the block. However the fact that Gilbert was incognito from the other guards, it didn't stop his heart from speed beating to the point he felt it might burst from the number of beats as he neared one of the two guards on the first floor of this block.

"_Keep your ass calm. Just walk by him and you'll be fine. Just keep calm and get to that damn door."_ Gilbert thought furiously.

He felt his breath hitch as the guard neared closer. Feeling a sweat drop go down the side of his face, Gilbert kept his posture as the guard passed. Gilbert's breath stayed hitched because of a second guard making his way forward towards Gilbert. The albino kept his posture stiff and steady so as to repeat the process of the guard passing by nonchalantly like Gilbert wanted. Like the last one, to Gilbert's great relief, passed by him with no word or care to the incognito albino. Now that Gilbert thought about, all of the guards looked bored as hell.

"_Night shift must suck."_ Gilbert thought with a victorious but silent smirk as he quickly shut his flashlight off and tip toed his way to the exit doors.

Gilbert looked around him once he made his way to the exit doors to see if anyone could see his actions. To his astounding luck, the two guards on the first floor of this block were either too bored to care or distracted by anything at this point to really notice Gilbert's presence or the fact that he looked like a working employee skipping out on his shift. Gilbert made a 'hmph' sound to himself thinking that the same situation was in the next cell block he had to pass through. It didn't pay to be careless though even though it was somewhat tempting for the albino to do with the guards having to work the night shift seemed so bored and nonchalant tonight; Gilbert knew too well that if something were to go wrong, the guards wouldn't hesitate to spring into action guns blazing and all that. That didn't stop the albino from thinking he might just escape with more ease than he thought. Those thoughts remained in his head as he slowly opened the heavy metal doors and slipped behind them and closed them just as slowly and quietly. Once he did, Gilbert sighed in relief.

"Either these assholes don't feel it today or had a shitty day. Ha! Makes this easier!" Gilbert said to himself with obvious pride and triumph in his German accented voice. Gilbert looked around the hall he was in which he assumed was Prison Hall B as he saw on the map he found which he pulled out once he saw it was uninhabited at the moment.

"_I thought this place would be like an infested ant's nest. Maybe just in the day time." _Gilbert couldn't help but think as he observed the quiet and abandoned hallway.

Gilbert took a quick look at the map to see where the next cell block was.

His next cell block was…in front of him. Gilbert looked up to see a similar pair of double metal doors leading to the apparent Cell Block B. Gilbert was honest to God blank for a split second to register that the next cell block was directly across from his own. Gilbert took another look at the map to see that all four cells blocks were in the very hall he was standing in. After another moment, Gilbert found himself smirking.

"Either the architect was lazy or the too damn smart. Makes my job easier." Gilbert noted to himself as he slowly entered Cell Block B. Once Gilbert entered, he noticed that there weren't as many guards as in Cell Block C. A thought came to the albino's head that focused more on the fact some of the more behaved prisoners were kept here; prisoners with lesser charges than him. Again, he though this made his job easier because these prisoners didn't need as much attention as the prisoners residing in Cell Block C, D, and mostly solitary confinement. There had to be at least 2 or 3 guards here but Gilbert couldn't be sure. He saw one guard on the first floor of this block and he heard another set of footsteps on the second floor.

"Hey what are you doing here so late?" the guard on the first floor demanded referring to Gilbert.

The albino froze and made sure his cap was lowered. He cleared his throat as if to sound more deep-voiced.

"U-Uhh just trying to get to the front of the building. My shift ended." Gilbert lied in a deep voice.

He noticed he caught the attention of the guard on the second floor because he was peeking down at him from the railing.

"Why are you coming down here then?" the first guard asked eyeing Gilbert suspiciously.

"Well you see, I'm new here and I guess I don't really know my way around." Gilbert again lied.

A heavy and uncomfortable silence descended in and around the block. The room was suddenly boiling hot now for Gilbert as the silence continued. Gilbert stared at the guard who was looking at him with the obvious hint of suspicion. By Gilbert's luck though, he shrugged.

"Okay then kid. Just take those doors over there for now and keep to the right 'till you see two hallways about 8 feet from each other. The one you leave through is the first hallway. Once you leave, put your keys on the front desk and make sure you lock up. And kid, next time take the officer hall out of here." The guard instructed Gilbert unknowingly.

Gilbert nodded at him.

"Thanks. I keep a note of that." Gilbert told the guard before he scurried of to the other pair of metal doors across the block.

He exited quickly. The temperature decreased now and Gilbert cooled down. He sighed in relief and rubbed his forehead before standing straight. The warden's office was just in his reach now. He took another quick peek of his map to see that the warden's office wasn't very far from his position.

"_Almost there." _He thought with his face beaming some.

Taking a sharp left, Gilbert followed the hallway passing many other rooms and barred areas that Gilbert had no interest going through. Keeping to the left of the hall, he came across the area he was searching for: the office area. The entrance to the hall was blocked with the familiar barred door. This time Gilbert could open them. Taking the keys from his belt, he went through them all, fitting key by key into the keyhole until he heard a click signifying it was unlocked. Gilbert slowly opened the door so as to keep the obvious metal scraping sound in the hinges at a minimum. The albino made sure to keep it open in case he needed a quick escape in case someone got suspicious.

Creeping quietly along the long hallway and passing many doors leading to rooms such as officer lounge, file rooms, interrogation rooms, and a room to have a small parole hearing, Gilbert finally found the part of the hallway that held the offices of any higher up officers such as the warden himself.

And low and behold, Gilbert found it. The warden's office was the most noticeable one what with the large black letters with the warden's name and statues on the window where as the other office doors had the same thing but without the symbol representing the police force on the doors that the warden's office door possessed. Gilbert smirked and started to creep to the door. He was stopped when he heard what sounded like a cough on the other side of the door.

"_Shit! He's still there!"_ the albino screamed in his head.

This was not good. Gilbert had assumed the warden went home at some point. Many thoughts swirled in his head with assumed reasons for why the warden was still in the prison at this hour. Either way he was there and this put Gilbert's goal at a pause for the meantime. Gilbert had a thought that he should wait him out somewhere nearby until the warden leaves but he remembered he was in a rush. He had to think of something fast. Frantically looking around for anything to distract the warden to come out of his office, Gilbert found something that would 100% distract not only the warden, but the whole prison.

An emergency fire alarm.

Gilbert was honestly pretty shocked a bit at the convenience but otherwise thanked God for it. Grinning and glancing back at the warden's office, Gilbert neared the fire alarm. His pale hand reached out to pull the switch down and trigger the alarm but stopped.

"_What if he recognizes me? I need a place to hide temporarily." _Gilbert thought. Pulling his hand away, Gilbert again looked around for what seemed like the millionth time to the albino to spot a door nearby the fire alarm without a nametag on it. He walked over to the door and opened it to see a whole array of brooms, dustpans, and cleaners. The albino smiled in triumph before leaving it open a crack and walking back over to the fire alarm. Reaching out again, he opened the plastic cover and curled his pale fingers over the palm-sized switch. With a sigh and a hitch of his breath, he quickly pulled it down.

The blaring sound that came with it started going off somewhere.

Gilbert just heard a quick scrape of a chair against tile flooring before speeding into the supply closet and shutting the door enough so he could watch the outside. Like he planned, the warden burst out of the room. Gilbert heard a few other doors opening quickly as well and about 5 or 6 officers running down the hall along with the warden until the hall was completely empty, the sound of the blaring alarm being the only thing present. Gilbert knew he had to be fast so when he got out of that closet, he was already running into the warden's office. It was somewhat typical; a grey and metal desk in the center of the room with a computer and numerous papers on the surface, a file cabinet, a trash can, and a locker with an unknown purpose. The albino wasted no time as he started searching through the warden's desk drawers for his own ring of prison keys. He practically destroyed the contents of the drawers until he found what he was looking for in the bottom drawer. Pulling out the keys, it was obvious they were the warden's because of the large number of jingling keys on the ring unlike Gilbert's key ring. Taking the keys, he left just as quickly as he entered and jogged down the hall. He remembered that there was another barred hallway that led to the courtyard and other places that didn't interest the albino. Once he found himself out of the office hall, he saw many other officers probably from the cell blocks scrambling around the present hallway. Gilbert knew he could use this happening right now. Running along with the other officers, Gilbert found the hall he was looking for. Quickly taking out the warden's ring of keys, Gilbert again found himself fumbling with the number of keys to find the right one. Gilbert was so distracted by the ring of keys that he didn't notice the warden run by him so as to go back to his office. Once the albino found the key he was looking for, he wasted no time going to the hall across from the barred doors. Gilbert knew he was so close to his goal now because he must have felt the feelings of exhilaration and excitement with a side of panic at the prospect of finally leaving the prison and seeing the outside world once again. The first thing Gilbert knew he was going to do when he was out was have a 6 pack of his favorite beer and maybe another. He even thought about calling his friends up to have them drink with him as celebration. He halted his thoughts for a moment and remembered why he was escaping. He was escaping for Roderich and his declining health and possibly his mental stability. Gilbert would have to save the beer and celebrating for later then. He didn't really mind it that much he just knew he'd get it done. The albino was so lost in his thoughts for the future that he didn't really notice that he slammed the barred door when he entered through it and that the warden saw his ransacked office and saw his keys were no where to be found.

Entering the abandoned courtyard, Gilbert was immediately hit with the cool autumn air and the sound of crickets chirping everywhere for the night sky. Gilbert saw immediately that the courtyard was larger than he really anticipated. Maybe he just never noticed it before. Running ahead and looking around, Gilbert saw the 20 foot fences with barbed wire on the tops along with another outer fence all of which surrounded the prison along with the guard towers that remained the watchful eyes of the prison. Checking his map again, Gilbert saw what looked like a quick way to the back of the prison which also had the parking lot. Of coarse Gilbert knew he didn't have the keys to any of the cars but he knew that the cars had to get out somewhere. It was a big chance that the parking lot had an easy exit. This had to be his final location to go to. Turning in the direction the parking lot was Gilbert began in a jog towards the entrance. Smiling in triumph and excitement, Gilbert began to run. He was almost there.

However as you all know, all luck runs out eventually. In Gilbert's case, he saw it run out when a sudden flash of very bright light gleamed down on him. Gilbert stopped running and nearly tripping so he could see where the source of the light was coming from. Turning around, he was blinded for a brief moment by the light in the guard tower. Covering his already stinging eyes, Gilbert heard a voice on the mega phone in the tower.

"Halt! Who goes there!?" the voice demanded.

Gilbert was in immediate flight or fight mode. In this case, he chose flight. Gilbert started running forward towards the doors to the parking lot. He didn't need to look back to see he was being followed because of the warden's loud and commanding voice echoing throughout the night.

"Ah shit!" Gilbert shouted when he heard the number of voices yelling for him to surrender.

Gilbert kept running towards his goal. When he got close enough though, he saw that one of the entrances to the parking lot had a fence so as to block it from any prisoners like Gilbert to see it as a way to leave. Of course like all the other fences built in and around the prison, it was at least 15 feet tall with barbed wire at the top. Gilbert cursed under his breath and frantically looked around for another exit, the group of officers coming closer to his position from the vast courtyard. The albino had just enough time to turn when the light from the guard tower again flashed him. Looking back on the fence that separated him from an exit and looking at the coming officers, Gilbert knew he had only one way to temporarily get away from the officers and still get to the parking lot. With that, he turned around and quickly began to climb the wire fences. With the edges in the fence holes pinching the pale skin of Gilbert's relatively large hands and the speed the albino was climbing, Gilbert was already feeling the soreness from the pressure he applied to his body as he climbed and it didn't help that his still sore hand was giving him the signs that he was applying more pressure than needed. He ignored it and continued on. When he was about 11 feet up, Gilbert saw something ricochet from the metal bar holding the fence up above his head. Gilbert's crimson eyes widened in panic. They were shooting now. Wasting no more time, Gilbert heightened his speed on the fence as bullets were ricocheting from the fences and the walls and some almost hitting him. He reached the top of the fence to see himself face to face with highly sharp and dangerous barbed wire. Gilbert however didn't have time to really think of anything on how to properly get over the barbed wire without being torn to shreds when he heard a bullet fly past his ear. With only one thought in mind, Gilbert's hands took a dull part of the wire and propped his feet on the metal bar before he jumped to the other side of the fence without a second thought. Even with the 15 foot drop, Gilbert managed to get his body to land on his feet before he went to the ground. Quickly getting up, Gilbert sped to the door and opened it with a few shoving forces distributed from his body instead of finding a key. Just as quickly as he opened it, he shut it once he got back on his feet.

Gilbert turned around and saw and array of cars sitting idly in their spots waiting to be driven. Gilbert remembered he had no cars keys and he never learned to hot wire a car so they all were useless. Gilbert looked ahead from the double built fences that perimeter the prison to see a small forest and if he squinted, he could see what looked like lights from a building just beyond it. The albino felt the pang of exhilaration come back to him looking past those trees. He was close. Taking another sharp left, Gilbert went to the locked gates of the parking lot and opened the lock with one of the many keys on the warden's set after a lengthy search for the right key. Gilbert just managed to get the gates open when he heard a door open somewhere nearby and once he got past the gates, he just ran out toward the second entrance of the prison where the officers would come in. However a sound he dreaded to hear rang in his ears besides the gunfire.

"Send in the Special Officers." A megaphone blared suddenly. Gilbert stopped his sprinting to see 4 rectangular shaped trucks pull in at the entrance gates and out of them all came about 6 men from each truck to block off the entrance. They were armed with a sort of armor along with stronger pistols and batons. While a dozen of them stayed at the entrance, a group of them started running for Gilbert. Panicked, Gilbert took his pistol out of his holster and started shooting at them and praying he would only injure them. It didn't help that the officers chasing him before were closer now. The albino frantically looked around for a way out but there was none to be found. Then he spotted the double fences that surrounded the area. An idea struck. Gilbert didn't like it however. Going into a sprint and shooting at the same time, Gilbert was now focused on just getting to the fences while what looked like an entire army of prison officers continued to chase him. Gilbert kept facing forward while his arm was pointed at the officers and shooting only glancing occasionally with wild crimson eyes. Once Gilbert finally got to the fence, he was already out of breath and out of bullets. He dropped his gun and took one precious second to examine the fence he stood in front of. It was higher than the one he jumped before; about 20 or more feet with more barbed wire at the top, some that went straight and a set that swirled. Gilbert also saw the double fence on the other side noting that his already future injuries would be worse. The albino however set aside his thoughts and present soreness and again began to climb.

Gilbert knew he had to be careful for this because the fence was higher and the number of officers and their guns were larger. He kept going upwards at a fast speed though with bullets flying past him and around him. It wasn't long until the skin on Gilbert's hands started to bruise and broke in certain spots making them bleed slightly. Even with the pain coursing through him, Gilbert went on until he reached the top of the first fence. Panting, the albino took a quick glance below knowing he couldn't jump this time with the high probability of one of his limbs and possibly his neck being broken in the process. He looked ahead though to see the other fence that was just short of 4 feet away from the one he stood on. Again carefully taking the dull parts of the barbed wire, Gilbert climbed up on the metal bar holding the fence up. He quickly but still carefully took the swirling barbed wire and bent over with it to trap some of it under his feet and climbed over the straightened barbed wire so as to face the other fence and make and easier position to jump. Taking in a deep breath and holding onto the barbed wire, he squatted slightly to jump. Once he was about to, a sudden jolt of pain burst through his body via his upper arm making him slip but still managing to keep a firm hold on the barbed wire. It helped very little though when he felt the sharp points of the wires start to dig into the side of his hands and the wire he held under his feet spring upwards and slide past the back of his neck. Gilbert yelled in pain from the apparent gunshot wound on his right arm and the points digging into his skin. Now Gilbert was entirely in pain all over his body. He felt a warm liquid like substance start to drip down his hands, making them slick. The albino wasn't ready to quit though. Even with the pain racking his entire body, Gilbert hoisted himself up with his feet by pulling up on the wire. With another yell of pain, Gilbert let go of the wire and sprung himself to the next fence. The albino managed to get a look at his hands when he caught onto the other fence. All he could really tell about them was that they were red, warm, and sticky. He simply put it off for later. Gilbert just started to climb to the top of the other fence even with the pain in his body. Luckily it didn't take long. Things however were only made worse when Gilbert heard another door open somewhere and the sounds of thudding footsteps. He just concentrated on the last remaining fence. More barbed wire. Gilbert wanted to repeat his careful process from last time but was interrupted by the sounds of more gun shots.

"_Come on Gilbert! Just one more fucking fence and your home free! Just a little further!"_ he screamed in his head before taking the swirled wire roughly and without much more thought and hopping over the other wires.

Gilbert felt something shoot past his side as he jumped over the wire but was in too much of a panic at what the hell he was doing. Once he jumped over, the swirling wire came with him and it was sending him propelling 20 feet downwards to the grounds outside the prison. Taking a last resort action, Gilbert's feet shot to the fence so as to slow his fall. It did but with a price. He was 5 feet from the ground when his left foot caught in one of the fence holes. Letting go of the barbed wire, Gilbert immediately went into action and lifted himself up enough to loosen his foot. His hands however were slick enough with blood that they slipped from what they were holding onto and let Gilbert fall to the ground with a thud.

Everything went silent for a moment as the albino lay on the ground limp. The officers were silent as well, just looking at Gilbert. One of them shined a flashlight on Gilbert's face to see his eyes were closed. And his chest wasn't moving.

"Call a medic. All of you back to your posts." The warden ordered.

Everyone did as told and went back to what they were doing, the warden standing there for a moment before leaving as well. Once he did, the albino's eyes opened and his chest started to gently heave up and down. Even though he was now feeling all the pain since his adrenaline had almost run out, Gilbert smirked to himself at the trick he used to fool the officers and the warden. With a painful grunt, he sat up and looked at the now silent prison.

He was out.

Gilbert finally got out of the prison.

The albino felt he could dance around but knew he really couldn't at the moment due to the pain racking his body.

"Out now, dance later." Gilbert agreed to himself with a nod before slowly standing up.

His left ankle was now throbbing as well as Gilbert's many bruises and torn up hands. Panting, he turned towards the forest and started walking (more like limping towards it) and towards civilization to begin the long trek to Roderich's home. He definetly looked forward to it.

He managed to stay out of anymore of the outer officer's sights as they started searching for him again. Gilbert however was already gone before they had time to search the full grounds. Gilbert kept to the side of the road and would occasionally leap back into the forest if a car were to pass by and soon after a few miles Gilbert made it to the town he was so familiar with. It almost felt like a new world to the albino due to the amount of time he was incarcerated. Gilbert however just kept to the many shadows of the quiet buildings, avoiding any cars that would occasionally pass. He didn't feel like explaining to anyone why he was walking back in the streets with a limp, torn up uniform, and injured almost everywhere which would lead to a trip to the hospital which the albino wanted to avoid as well. Gilbert just kept walking and walking until he reached the neighborhoods on the other side of town. Grinning tiredly to himself, the albino started to look for his Austrian's house. Again, it took a while. Roderich preferred to live quietly and without many neighbors as well as his parents so Gilbert had to take many turns and detours to find a wealthy looking neighborhood with about 10 or 12 houses, Roderich's included. Gilbert looked around the small neighborhood until he finally spotted what he was looking for.

It then suddenly felt like it was worth all the pain Gilbert endured.

With a genuine smile crossing his face, Gilbert pushed open the large iron gates with his shoulder, grunting painfully as he did. The albino went up to the front door and tried to turn it with his wrists but found out it was locked. Gilbert sighed but knew this wasn't the only way inside.

For him anyway.

Circling to the back of the house, Gilbert saw the familiar trellis of rose vines that Roderich's mother had planted some years ago that stood strong and tall under the place Gilbert needed to enter: Roderich's bedroom window. Gilbert saw it was open to let in the cool night air. Walking up to the trellis, Gilbert looked at his torn and still bleeding hands and sighed.

"After this, I am so going to put these in a tub of peroxcide." Gilbert said aloud before grabbing onto the trellis with a painful grunt and started to climb. Luckily it was plastic and not sharp metal so it made it easier to climb if not somewhat. It was still painful but Gilbert endured it for one last time. As he got closer to Roderich's second floor bedroom, Gilbert started to hear soft piano music start to play along with the faint sounds of whimpering. Worried, Gilbert opened the window a bit further and grabbed onto the window ledge and climbing up on it and looking inside. Gilbert saw that the room was dark but he could clearly define each and every one of the pieces of furniture in the room. He only focused on the bed and the figure tossing and turning on it. Swinging his legs over the ledge, Gilbert came into the room. He was hit with the smell of fresh vanilla and warmth. Gilbert craved that smell and savored it just as much. Slowly going over to Roderich's side of the bed, Gilbert finally got a chance to look upon what he had been running for: Roderich Edelstien.

The Austrian's back was turned away from the window and he was curled in a ball with his arms pressed into his body for security and shining tears going down his whimpering face. It broke Gilbert's heart to see his beautiful angel go through it. If it could, Gilbert could swear it hurt more than his maimed body. Kneeling down to the sleeping Austrian's level, Gilbert saw his dark bangs were covering his pained and pale face. It was alluring to the albino. He reached a bloody hand out and gently swept them off the Austrian's face, his fingers dried with blood sweeping past his forehead. He felt that needed warmth when he finally got a chance to touch the Austrian's soft skin and his soft locks. When Gilbert did, Roderich's facial expression went soft and his whimpering stopped along with the tears, Gilbert smiled a bit and took a chance to scan his body which was half covered by the blanket. Gilbert saw Roderich was…wearing one of his shirts and was clutching it. The albino's crimson eyes landed on Roderich's neck and saw his iron cross around the Austrian's frail neck. It surprised Gilbert with no words to really describe what was going on through the albino's head. He was interrupted from his thought process when Roderich moaned in his sleep. Gilbert looked at him and saw his eyebrows were furrowed in worry even if it was in his dreams. Gilbert smiled again and stood up to lean down. His pale lips connected to Roderich's head where he sniffed his hair. It smelled of vanilla and something else sweet that Gilbert could never really name. All he knew was that he was finally kissing his Austrian on the head to sooth his nightmares like he had done for a long time before prison. Like all the other times, Roderich calmed, his breathing coming in slow and almost inaudible breaths and his face finally finding comfort along with his body since it seemed to relax since he uncurled some. It made Gilbert smile again.

"Sweet dreams, my angel." He whispered before he turned to leave.

He was however stopped when he felt something gently grip his sleeve.

"…Please…stay…" a soft voice said.

Gilbert turned around slowly to see Roderich's eyes opened slightly to sign he was still sleeping in a way. Gilbert had seen this from him before if he ever came home and talked to Roderich in his sleep. That was how Gilbert was able to get Roderich to really show his feelings unlike in the waking world. Roderich was always more affectionate when he did this and it always made Gilbert feel warm and loved.

"Don't go…don't…leave me…" Roderich mumbled still gripping Gilbert's jacket sleeve. Gilbert approached again and gently took Roderich's hand away from his sleeve. He didn't hold it though like he wanted too. Gilbert didn't want his blood to tarnish Roderich's skin.

"I'm here my angel. I always will be." He mumbled back to Roderich.

Roderich went silent for a moment.

"Miss…you…" he mumbled making Gilbert's heart lurch.

"I know you did. But don't worry, I'm here. I'm with you." He mumbled back lovingly.

"Stay…" Roderich begged in a sleepy mumble.

Gilbert stood and went to the other side of the bed and gently and slowly laid in it and scooted behind Roderich and put his arms around Roderich's shoulders and pulled him close. Gilbert smelled the sweet vanilla again. That scent always seemed to fill the air if Roderich was around.

"See? I'm here." He whispered in Roderich ear.

"Don't…go…Gilbert…" Roderich mumbled before he went back to his sleep filled silence.

Gilbert smiled and again kissed the back of his head before taking the covers and pulling them upwards to cover Roderich's body fully. Glancing at the digital alarm clock, Gilbert saw it was 4:25 A.M. He started to feel the exhaustion from his night and his injuries start to creep up on him.

"I will never leave you." He whispered before he felt himself drift asleep with the soft classical music in his ears.

* * *

_** Crap that's long! Probably the longest I've written so far!**_

_**If it seems kind of rushed, I am sorry but I guess I wanted to get his chapter done.**_

_**Also another thing, I've been hit repeatedly with writers block so that's why this is late but Chapter 5 should be up pretty soon **_

_**Enjoy the fluffy and sweet ending and I'll see 'ya later!**_

_**~Sunny**_


	5. Surprises in The Prussian Anthem

Chapter 5: Surprises in Prussian Anthems

**Chapter 5's up~!**

**I'll make sure to write and post faster because I'm paranoid of my internet XD**

**Warning for a still depressed Roderich, cursing, fluffiness**

**Quick Sum So Far: **Making a 'No-Turning-Back' decision, Gilbert finally comes with a plan to escape the prison after receiving news from his brother that Roderich was taken to the hospital for more than what Gilbert had thought he was suffering. Gilbert at first started his plan out well what with getting out of his cell and dressing as a guard so as to help him sneak by any others easily but as his plan escalated, the albino of course ran into the inevitable possibly of more problems that the straight forward and prideful albino gladly strolled through. Everything however is dropped and ruined when Gilbert's highly intelligent warden finds that he's attempting to escape and turning Gilbert's mind from needed thinking and instead switched to instinct: run. Running more like a frightened animal than anything else, Gilbert manages to prevail his goal even the risk of his life but injuring himself horribly. Though he knew he needed medical attention, the Prussian put himself aside for the meantime and instead of heading to the hospital, he heads to Roderich's home in the night where he indeed finds it and finds a way inside to discover his Austrian sleeping with terrible dreams swirling around his head. Still in his injured state, the albino stops to talk to Roderich as he sleeps just to tell him he made it back to him with the Austrian blindly and lightly responding to him believing he is just a dream. It only gives proof to Gilbert that Roderich indeed needed the albino with him.

* * *

When Roderich had woken up, he expected it to be morning and that he again didn't get his required amount of sleep for the night. So far, he was still lying in his bed not bothering to move for a while with his eyes still closed. When he did finally bother to open his tired eyes, Roderich was facing the clock on his night stand along with the CD player. Confusion hit him instantaneously. It was almost 4:20 in the afternoon and his CD player was turned off when classical music was supposed to be playing on repeat. Rubbing his eyes and taking his glasses from the stand, Roderich sat up and leaned against the headboard still looking at the two objects on his night stand like he expected them to explain the changes of the Austrian actually having a full night's sleep and his CD player void of any sound. Roderich checked to see if the two objects were broken. The CD player started replaying its soft music without any skipping and the clock's alarm was as loud as ever.

"Maybe Ludwig or Feli stopped by at some point." The Austrian thought aloud.

Keeping a thin brow raised, Roderich looked around his room to see if there were any more changes. There were, and it started to make Roderich more confused and just a tad suspicious. The Austrian's eyes landed on the other side of his bed and saw that the sheets were ruffled like they were tossed and turned on while the window was open wider than Roderich had opened it last night just to get a bit of fresh air in the room. Taking a mind to check and see if there was anything outside to have caused his window to open wider without waking him, Roderich swung his thin and white legs over the edge of his bed and stood making sure to keep his hand on the edge of the bed to stand straight when a small wave of dizziness hit him and walked over to the window. Warm afternoon sunlight shined on his pale face as he looked outside. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Everything was still in its original place and nothing was shifted, broken, or missing. He was starting to think it was that he was still tired and believed his hazy mind was tricking him.

"That must be it. Maybe I need to go back to sleep." The Austrian again thought aloud before closing the window.

When Roderich was about to turn around, he noticed something on his window ledge that made him stop in his tracks and make him feel a wave of cold pass his body. A red dried stain stood out against the white paint of the ledge. It was smudged but Roderich could easily tell it was a bloody handprint. When Roderich looked at that area in particular, he saw many more dried blood spots with differing shapes and sizes ranging from small unnoticeable drops to more smudged hand prints.

Roderich felt fear wash though him at the sudden thought that someone either got hurt, or his house was broken in the night before with the intruder maybe injuring his hand before he had a mind to sneak in. Though his mind was screaming to call the police and stay in his room, Roderich followed the direction the blood was going. Not daring to make a single vocal sound, Roderich came up to his door to see a couple more dried drops of blood on the doorknob before opening the door slowly. He was greeted with his bathroom door wide open and the light on. Stepping cautiously out of his room, he went to the open bathroom door to investigate. Roderich saw his shower was used recently and that the floor and counter was littered with bloody toilet paper balls and the empty plastic packages that once held bandage wraps along with band-aids. The already panicking Austrian looked over at his sink to see a sort of pinkish-red color painting the ceramic in still moistened drops resembling that of a painter washing his brush and the paint on the end being red. Roderich however was smart and sane enough to know it wasn't paint, he knew that someone had been washing blood off something and didn't bother to clean up the mess. Roderich again cautiously entered the bathroom and saw what looked like a ruined uniform on the tiled floor. Even with its dark blue color, Roderich could tell it was damp in some places. Kneeling down slowly, Roderich saw the jacket still had a tag on it and carefully picked it up.

The name 'Lutz, Parker' was engraved on the silver and rectangular tag.

Roderich's violet eyes widened at the fact that he didn't know a person with that name. He heard a crash downstairs and a curse from an unknown masculine voice. Roderich immediately stood and sped to his room and slowly closed the door and locked it before frantically searching around the room for a phone only to quickly remember that he didn't have one upstairs because he didn't want to have to wake up in the middle of the night because the phone was going off. Scolding himself for the irony and his stupidity, the panicking Austrian again looked around his bedroom for anything that could get him out of this situation. His wide eyes then landed on the square chest that rested at the foot of his bed where his answer lay. Stumbling over to it, he opened it and grabbed the item he purposefully placed at the top in case he needed a way to protect himself: a riding crop Elizabeta got him for his 19th birthday that confused the Austrian until this moment.

His plan really was to go downstairs and find a phone to call the police and Elizabeta and use his riding crop if need be. That was all he pretty much thought in his panicked state. Opening the door slowly and quietly and keeping himself calm, Roderich quietly stepped out of the safety of his room. There was shuffling downstairs when Roderich took his first cautious step down the stairs along with another, riding crop tight in his hold. Roderich took a breath of air and when he did, he smelled something.

Something good.

Roderich took another sniff as he went downstairs and smelled an aroma of something sweet.

"_What…is that…chocolate?" _The Austrian managed to think for a brief moment as he neared the first floor.

He realized that whatever was cooking was also burning if not a bit.

"_What intruder uses my kitchen took cook cake!?" _Roderich yelled in his head at another realization that the mystery food cooking was one of his chocolate cake mixes.

His bare feet finally touched the cold wood floor at the end of the stair case and quickly turn a corner into his living room since all the crashing and cursing was coming from his kitchen. Roderich looked around and saw nothing was gone or broken. The shades were just open. Feeling less fearful and more confused, Roderich studied his living room. The couch had obviously been sat on recently and the shades were pulled all the way and exposing anything in the room to the 4:30 afternoon sunlight when before all of them were closed for keeping that purpose at bay. Roderich also noticed the TV that he generally never watched from was on but at a very low almost inaudible volume.

Roderich heard a sigh and a chair shift on the kitchen floor for someone to sit on it.

Roderich remembered he was supposed to call the police and his good but if more ways than one dangerous friend to apprehend this intruder. Gripping his riding crop tighter, he started going toward the phone that hung from the wall behind the flat screen TV that sat in the middle of the living room until his hand was literally just inches away from it.

Then he stopped when he started hearing something familiar in the other room.

The intruder in the kitchen was humming. It wouldn't sound very important but Roderich immediately recognized the song the stranger was humming.

It was the original Prussian Anthem.

For the Austrian, time stopped.

Frozen in place, Roderich listened to the anthem he had heard so many times from a certain Prussian while the intruder was walking around and working on something in the kitchen. Without realizing, Roderich dropped his riding crop and just listened to the known anthem, his feet blindly going towards the kitchen, toward the anthem like it was a siren's song. That's what it felt like to Roderich. Reaching out to the built in saloon doors that served as the kitchen entrance and pushed them open slowly and entered the somewhat dirty kitchen.

His violet eyes widened and every sense the Austrian possessed except for his hearing ebbed away as he stood frozen in the doorway watching the tall pale figure work his way around the kitchen with a slight limp. Roderich could only distinguish that the figure was turned around, had bandages almost everywhere on his body and his short and unruly hair was as white as freshly fallen snow while he was humming the Prussian Anthem without missing a note. Roderich knew only one person that could hum that certain anthem without making a single mistake and sound wonderful humming it. Before he could really think, Roderich's mouth spoke first.

"G…Gil…bert…?" Roderich called weakly.

Roderich's mind was in shambles trying to find rational reason and giving him what he thought was a blind hope.

"_N-No…it's not him…he's…h-he's in prison! I-I'm just hallucinating! Yes that must be it! T-This can't be the REAL him…he's locked away…!" _Roderich kept thinking vigorously trying to distinguish that the man in his kitchen was just an imposter and an intruder and that Roderich was fantasizing Gilbert's abrupt return.

Another part of him however felt sudden pang of exhilaration and happiness which Roderich lacked for so long. Reason however took over hope in this instance.

"_It's not him you idiot…Gilbert…is locked away in a cell for 10 years…its just…your mind going into shambles."_ Roderich thought finally and accepting whatever reason he had and prepared to face this imposter.

When said imposter turned around however, everything, even his thoughts, stopped and he just stared into those crimson red with his own wide and unbelieving violet ones.

They both just stared at each other without a word passing through the air. While Roderich was in his own trance, Gilbert was looking at his Austrian sweetheart with less disbelief that was obvious in Roderich's eyes and looking at him with more of a look of genuine happiness. After another long silent moment passed, Gilbert smiled at Roderich who was still in his own state of shock.

"Hey Roddy, how'd you sleep?" the albino simply asked.

Roderich heard him and his instincts told him to scold him for asking such a simple question like he was in Roderich's kitchen like he wasn't in prison at all or that his body wasn't littered with a different array of injuries but no words came out of his mouth, just shallow breathing. Gilbert raised a brow.

"Hey Roddy, you alright?" Gilbert asked coming a bit closer to Roderich.

The albino could already see the tears forming in the Austrian's tired eyes.

Then out of nowhere, Roderich started to fall to the floor.  
For Roderich, a wave of nausea and tiredness washed over him and unable to really stand correctly from the nausea and the fact he was practically falling asleep. When Roderich fell, he expected the hard floor but instead was met with a groan of pain from another mouth and two strong arms catching him.

"Geez Roddy you look terrible. Let's lay you down." Gilbert declared sitting up and managing to stand with Roderich in his arms after he dove for the falling Austrian.

Not bothering to go upstairs with the added weight, Gilbert went to the living room and sat on an end of Roderich's couch with Roderich already asleep by the time Gilbert found a comfortable position on the couch for him to sit while Roderich slept against his body and on his lap and his head rested on Gilbert's shoulder. Gilbert looked down at his Austrian and how he was sleeping even when he woke up probably minutes ago. Either way, Gilbert didn't bother to do anything but take his glasses off, set them on the end table and take the remote from the table and start to watch television. While this was happening, Roderich was dreaming.

* * *

_The 15 year old Roderich was in his room studying for the ending semester's finals tests while his parents were off for a dinner date. Keeping his favorite classical music playing to keep the room void of silence and better thinking, Roderich continued to work. Outside however was different story. Sneaking through the night and the neighborhood watch to get to the Austrian's backyard where his bedroom window was accessible, Gilbert, who was 17 and had known Roderich for a good 3 years by now, was going to his friend's room because he desired the other's presence at the moment while his bruised cheek was throbbing. Climbing the tree that happened to be planted next to the iron fence that surrounded the house and served as easier access to the Edelstein household, the albino teen jumped down to the backyard via the thick branches that went past the fence's top with a thud._

"_Ow! Fuck!" Gilbert hissed when he landed on his side carelessly this time before standing up and running over to the trellis planted into the ground under Roderich's window._

_Though Gilbert had repeatedly told Roderich it was girly to have a trellis under his window (because it reminded him of a cheesy forbidden love sitcom he saw his mother watching at some point), it was handy for Gilbert to use to easily get up to the Austrian's bedroom window and ask for entrance. That's exactly what he did. Once he got to the top of the trellis, Gilbert knocked on the window like he had some many times before._

_Roderich snapped his head to his window when he heard the familiar knocking. Sighing and getting up, he walked over to the window and snapped the shades open to see the albino's ever so present grin on his face and wave at him to say hello. Roderich again sighed but in annoyance before opening the window and leaning down to Gilbert's eye level._

"_How many times must I tell you that I don't like being visited when I'm studying at this hour Gilbert?" Roderich asked as his own introduction as Gilbert climbed in his room and stretched. _

"_Oh chill out Roddy, I'm just visiting for a bit before I go spend the night with Fritz." Gilbert said with his grin still present and unaware of the worry already hitting the younger Austrian._

_Roderich knew Gilbert well enough to know that if he ever mentioned spending the night with his older friend Fredrick or 'Fritz' like Gilbert would call him the albino was again thrown out of his house for the night again by his parents after a fight ending in blows to the albino's face. Roderich examined his face and sure enough there was a darkening bruise that stood out on the albino's cheek._

"_Sit down Gilbert." Roderich ordered with Gilbert listening and sitting in the end of his bed. Roderich went over to his closet and took out the small medical kit he always kept with him in case Gilbert came over with injuries such as this._

_Taking his desk chair and placing it in front of the 17 year old, Roderich sat down with the opened kit on his lap and took out a cotton ball and the small alcohol bottle, dabbing the ball in the alcohol and placing it on Gilbert's open wound on his cheek. Gilbert yelped and winced._

"_Oh stop. It could be worse." Roderich told him irritably as he cleaned his wound and placed a bandage on his cheek._

"_Anymore?" Roderich asked with the albino pulling his jacket sleeves up and checking himself before shaking his head and grinning._

"_Oh Roddy, always so caring, he's like a wife!" Gilbert said loudly with a laugh and making Roderich blush._

"_Shut it! I am not a woman or anything like a woman! I simply didn't want your face to get infected it's a normal and good thing to do." Roderich argued._

_Gilbert snickered and hugged Roderich with the brunette struggling a bit before huffing and hugging back. Once they parted, Roderich sat next to his older friend. An awkward silence passed between the two before Roderich spoke up first._

"_What happened to your cheek?" he asked with Gilbert remaining silent for a moment before sighing._

"_Slipped and broke a plate first of all and Ludwig stepped on a shard. Dad got pissed off, I told him to fuck off and that it was all an accident. Course he didn't listen, the prick fuck." Gilbert explained with Roderich listening to every word._

_Roderich hated how Gilbert's parents treat him so much it made him sick sometimes. He had seen their abuse towards the teen sometime after they met when Roderich was walking around the neighborhood with Elizabeta and saw Gilbert's father slam open the door and shove him to the ground and closing the door. Roderich cleaned his scrape wounds from his hands and knees along with some of the bruises on his arms and wrists that day after he, Gilbert and Elizabeta went back to Elizabeta's house and held back the urge to pummel the teen with questions of why his father acted that way. To this day, Roderich still wanted to ask why Gilbert's parents were so abusive only towards him instead of his 10 year old brother Ludwig. Roderich didn't want to purposefully hurt Gilbert with such questions though so he kept his mouth closed._

_After he explained how he got his injury, Gilbert looked downcast and sad._

"_Dad said I was a freak and a useless piece of shit Roddy." Gilbert suddenly said peaking Roderich's interest once more._

"_What? Why would he say that?" he asked with Gilbert sighing and shaking his head._

"_He generally does but this time it was filled with so much anger and hate. However you put it, he's right." Gilbert said looking down._

_Roderich was shocked. He could understand low self esteem but he didn't know his larger than life egotistical friend thought about himself that way because his own father convinced him of that. Roderich felt his blood boil some at the mere thought of Gilbert's father's verbal and physical abuse. In all actuality, Roderich wouldn't stand for it._

"_And you believed him Gilbert!?" Roderich snapped standing straight up to face the albino and give him a scolding of his own._

"_Listen here you idiot Prussian, it is probably safe to say that whatever that bastard of a man tells you is just to put you down and make you feel this way when its not all your fault! If you want all this verbal abuse to stop from him, then why won't you man up and do something about it!? He's not the one controlling what you think, that's YOU Gilbert! Don't let him bring you down like that you selfish egotistical idiot!" Roderich scolded with Gilbert giving him this wide-eyed and surprised look. _

_Roderich sighed and positioned his glasses correctly before sitting down again next to Gilbert who wasn't talking, just looking at Roderich with absolute surprise in his crimson eyes. Roderich looked over to him and raised a brow._

"_What? What are you staring at?" he asked irritably like usual._

_Gilbert didn't answer. He just put his arms around the Austrian and hugged him close much to the Austrian's surprise._

"_Gilbert what are you-"_

"_Shh. Just…can I sit here for a moment?" Gilbert asked after interrupting Roderich._

_Roderich was surprised at the sudden affection from Gilbert but otherwise sighed and let him hug him._

_The two just stayed silent for 10 minutes with Gilbert keeping Roderich in his hold. After about 5 minutes though, Roderich had already wrapped his arms around the Prussian's waist. The faint sound of a car pulling up in the driveway snapped the two from the silence._

"_You should probably go." Roderich told Gilbert._

_Gilbert grinned at him._

"_Yea I should. I think your parents would shoot me if they found me in your room alone with you." He laughed before the two stood up and went over to the window._

_Gilbert climbed over the window ledge and onto the trellis with Roderich watching him leave._

"_Oh hey Roddy can you come over here for a sec?" Gilbert asked the Austrian._

_Roderich raised a brow but took a few steps closer to the window and leaned down._

"_Yes what is it?" he asked a bit impatient since he heard his front door open downstairs._

_Gilbert hesitated at first but gathered up a bit of courage to lean up and kiss Roderich's cheek._

"_Danke Roddy." Gilbert whispered to the flustered Austrian before he went down the trellis and sped across the backyard and out through the gate in front of the driveway towards his own neighborhood._

_Roderich felt his face heat up as he saw Gilbert leave. Regaining his senses which were lost for a moment, he stepped away from the window and closed it before taking a couple breaths and going towards his door to greet his parents._

_That was the first time Roderich had ever seen Gilbert give up. It was a rare occasion in itself and Roderich never liked to see Gilbert give up. It didn't suit him at all.  
Roderich's words however gave Gilbert a needed boost when he told Roderich that he had asked his friend Fritz if he could move in for a while and Fritz gladly accepted. Gilbert had even gotten a part time job to save enough money to find his own apartment one day and to help out Fritz whose old age was getting to him. It all surprised Roderich to know the albino had taken his words to heart and went to that extent to leave the constant verbal abuse but it also made him feel relieved that at least he would get to see Gilbert without so much bruises or scrapes on his pale body. Gilbert still visited Ludwig a lot of the time as well and had introduced him to Fritz at some point._

_Even with Gilbert finally managing to leave his household and starting his life, Roderich couldn't help but over think about that night and that moment when Gilbert kissed his cheek. The thought always made him blush but he kept thinking about it, wondering if that was Gilbert's way of thanking him or something completely different. Either way, Roderich would be lying if he said he didn't like the little sign of affection from the loud and prideful albino._

* * *

Roderich's eyes opened slightly to blurriness in his vision and the low sound of soldiers yelling and guns firing from the TV. The first thing Roderich detected was the warmth on the side of his head and on his arm. Shifting a bit to look up, Roderich could only see the blurry outline of Gilbert's torso and his head looking down at him with his grin plastered on his face.

"Oh finally you wake up again you lazy Austrian!" Gilbert laughed with Roderich remaining silent.

Gilbert then lifted Roderich's upper body so he could stand up before laying him back on the couch and looking at him.

"I'm gonna make somethin' to eat. I'm starving. But don't worry, the awesome me will fix you up something too!" Gilbert declared before going towards the kitchen with Roderich watching him go.

The surprise returned to Roderich but at a gentler approach. He just lay on the couch for a bit as he heard the shifting of objects in his kitchen to sign that Gilbert was making dinner. Sitting up slowly with his dark bangs falling on his face, Roderich picked his glasses up from the end table and put them on to see better. Looking over at the clock on his wall, Roderich saw it was almost 9 at night.

"How long had I been sleeping?" he mumbled to himself.

Roderich heard a loud curse from the kitchen and jumped a bit remembering his boyfriend was in the kitchen preparing dinner. Slowly standing up, Roderich took careful strides to the kitchen and opened the salon doors again and stepped in the kitchen.

Sure enough, it was Gilbert standing in the kitchen and preparing something on the stove. Those crimson eyes locked with Roderich's violet ones. Roderich wanted to look away but couldn't. Gilbert grinned at him again.

"Don't faint again on me, I don't think my limbs can take it at the moment." He said with a chuckle.

Roderich didn't respond. Gilbert looked back over at him with a smile and pointed to the round kitchen table.

"Go on and sit down Roddy, it's about done." He announced.

Roderich looked over at the table and at Gilbert before his feet lead him to one of the chairs and sat himself down, his eyes not removing themselves from Gilbert's body. After a minute of Roderich looking at Gilbert to confirm it was indeed his albino boyfriend, Gilbert had set two bowls of cheap but otherwise good pasta on the table and gently pushed one to Roderich and gave the other to himself.

While Gilbert was shoveling down his food quickly, Roderich was trying to think of something to say. After all it isn't everyday that the person you love most in the world is eating in our kitchen when he was supposed to be in prison so that made it hard for Roderich to think of a proper way to start a conversation. After much consideration and observation of Gilbert's body, Roderich hesitantly moved his mouth.

"How…how did you get injured like that?" he asked somewhat weakly.  
Gilbert looked up at him once he ate another chunk of his pasta.

"Oh these? Got 'em when I was running." He answered simply and making Roderich sigh and put his head in his palm.

"Exactly why are they there? What happened?" he asked again.

"Oh yea! Well, I was falling a lot from the fences so that's where the bruises came from, I got shot a couple times by the bastards chasing me, and I climbed 3 barbed wire fences." He answered Roderich, seeing the blood drain from Roderich's already pale face.

"S-Shot!? Barbed wires!? Gilbert what…how!?" Roderich stuttered after hearing Gilbert's words and trying to process them.

Gilbert was about to speak when Roderich cut him off.

"What in God's name Gilbert? H-How…how are you sitting in my kitchen right now and acting like you're not injured in any way!?" he demanded with Gilbert raising a brow.

"Well to put it bluntly, last night was crazy. Of course they didn't just let me walk away, I escaped that hellhole." He chirped with his grin.

Roderich quieted down and just stared at Gilbert with disbelief. Roderich at first found it very hard to believe. After a moment of proper thinking, Roderich could find no other answer to why Gilbert was sitting in his kitchen eating his dinner like nothing was out of the ordinary. After a long and suffocating moment, Roderich decided to talk again.

"So you…escaped." He started out playing with the spoon in his bowl.

Gilbert nodded.

"Yup, as you can see the awesome me has wars scars to prove it!" he exclaimed with a grin and putting his hands out for Roderich to see.

Roderich suppressed a gasp when he saw the bandaged limbs but didn't suppress a shudder.

"How…how did your hands end up like that?" he asked weakly.

"Well, climbing metal barbed wire fences does that. It sucked more at the part when I had to hang onto the barbed wire for dear life." He explained Roderich listening to every word.

"After I got to the top of those fences, I had to jump from all of them. The last two were the hardest mainly because I was getting shot at by like an army of officers chasing my ass. I slipped on one of the jumps because I felt a bullet his me in the upper arm and go straight through it! Afterwards, I feel myself hanging for dear life on pinching metal before a climb up, grab another one of the barbed wire swirls, and do that leap of faith shit before my ankle snagged in one of the fence holes and the little spikes on the wire went through my skin, it was fucking crazy Roddy!" the albino exclaimed.

Gilbert went on for 10 minutes explaining his escape from prison while his boyfriend was listening intently and worrying over his injuries more than anything else but otherwise, listening.

"After they all left, I managed to get up and start walking to town. Took miles and remembered directions but I managed to get here 'round…4:30-ish take or leave. By the way, when I searched the fridge this morning, it was void of beer! The horror Roddy!" Gilbert exclaimed with a mock horrified face which he didn't keep long because he laughed.

Roderich didn't laugh though. The Austrian was more focused on the fact that Gilbert came back in the un-Godly hour of 4:30 in morning while he was asleep. Roderich then thought back onto his sleep last night and how his nightmare changed drastically into a comforting dream with Gilbert talking sweetly to him and him telling Gilbert how much he missed him.

"Gilbert, I need to ask, did you sleep in my bed when you came back?" Roderich asked.  
Gilbert nodded and put his head on his palm.

"Yea I did. I mean, making an awesome escape tends to tire the awesome me out, plus it is our bed. Didn't want to come in the house like a stranger and sleep on the couch. Why?" Gilbert explained with the question at the end.  
Roderich hesitated for a moment before shaking his head.

"Its nothing, I was just…wondering is all. By the way, you left a mess in my bathroom and it looks like someone slaughtered a small animal in there and cleaned the mess up with toilet paper." Roderich scolded lightly and crossing his arms.  
Gilbert grinned and snickered.  
"Sorry Roddy I'll clean it up. Besides it wasn't a small animal, it was just the awesome me cleaning myself up after an awesome escape." Gilbert said his grin still intact and pointing at himself.

Roderich sighed and kept his arms crossed. Gilbert looked down at Roderich's bowl of untouched and still warm food.

"Hey Roddy, you going to eat?" he asked the Austrian.  
Said Austrian snapped his head up with a slight blush dusting his cheeks pink.  
"O-Oh I…I ate earlier Gil and I-I'm not very hungry." Roderich lied with a humorless chuckle.  
Gilbert saw through his lie and wanted to give him an Are-You-Freaking-Kidding-Me? Look but held it back.  
"But Roddy the awesome me spent time making this while my hands are in the process of falling off!" Gilbert whined with Roderich scoffing.

"They are not falling off, they're healing Gilbert! And I insist, I'm fine so ha, some of your time was wasted, sorry." Roderich retorted.  
Gilbert furrowed his brows but then had an idea that could have made him grin again.

"Shame Roddy, that's gonna go to waste and God knows it'll be too gross to eat tomorrow, plus I'm full." He said airily knowing about Roderich's frugalness and how devoted he is to the little bit of his personality.  
Roderich looked at him suspiciously and then at his soup. He hated wasting food but he also started hating eating it recently because it always managed to make him as sick as a dog and ultimately end up throwing it all up.

"_Maybe if I say I need to go to the bathroom afterwards, I'll be able to throw it all up and make Gilbert not suspect anything."_ Roderich thought before snatching his fork and glaring at the grinning Prussian.

"Wipe that grin off your face, you idiot Prussian before I slap it off." Roderich warned before looking hesitantly at his food and dipping his fork in she still warm food and taking his first bite, feeling the gross and rotten taste already making its way to his taste buds making him want to spit the food out.  
Roderich however would not make himself look so weak in front of Gilbert and shame his pride and dignity, so again with hesitation, he chewed the food and swallowed and proceeding to take a few more slow bites. Gilbert felt the familiar pang of triumph shoot through him seeing Roderich eat.

"_To hell with Ludwig's words, bulimia ain't got shit on Roddy now!" _the Prussian thought triumphantly before starting another conversation with Roderich.

"So Roddy how's life and how's Gilbird? Didn't get a chance to check up on him today cause I was cleaning up a bit. Everything had a damn layer of dust on it!" Gilbert asked.  
Roderich was surprised while some of the awful tasting food hung a bit from his mouth.

"You were cleaning?" he asked suspiciously swallowing his food and feeling it turn to bile in his stomach.  
He almost felt he could groan and throw it up then and there but kept it at bay, saving that part for later.

"Yea. Got bored after I woke up this afternoon, came downstairs, opened your curtains for some light and saw the place needed to be straightened up a bit." He admitted.

"Now how's life and Gilbird?" he asked going back to his original subject.

Again Roderich was more surprised because he frankly remembered how much of a slob Gilbert could be since they lived together and how he didn't clean a lot. Though thinking back to his bathroom, he doubted this behavior would last for more than a day.

"My life's…okay and Gilbird is spectacular actually. You can talk to him in that weird language you two share tomorrow." Roderich answered.  
He had taken about 6 small bites of his food by now. He already felt it rising up again. It disgusted him and sickened him. Setting his fork down, Roderich took a couple inaudible breaths to keep himself stable and keep his food down. He didn't notice Gilbert looking at him strangely.

From Gilbert's point of view, he saw Roderich slump a bit and put his fork down after he answered his question and saw his back arch slightly and slump again as he watched the Austrian across the table take slow and steadying breaths.

"Roddy?" he called.  
Roderich looked up. Gilbert saw his face was starting to pale.

"Y-Yes?"

"Are you okay? You look a little pale."

Roderich nodded.

"I-Its not too bad. I'll be fi-"Roderich cut himself off when he felt himself convulse a bit with his food already coming back up.

Covering his mouth and unable to keep his food down, Roderich stood straight up and pushing the chair back quickly and made a mad dash for the downstairs bathroom. He didn't really have time to notice the shock going into Gilbert's face as he made his dash. Slamming the door open, Roderich doubled over the toilet and let his food shoot out of his mouth. Gripping the seat and arching his back, Roderich continued to throw his dinner up while trying to remain calm so as to not slip into a panic attack due to how violently he was throwing up and how anxious he was becoming because of it. What was mere minutes felt like hours for the Austrian as he finally was able to finally cease the upchucks and focus more on keeping calm which wasn't working very well until a large hand gently placed itself on his back and started rubbing soft circles into it while the owner of the hand was whispering calming words into Roderich's ear.

Minutes ago, Gilbert was shocked by Roderich's sudden actions as he sped to the downstairs bathroom with his hand covering his mouth, his eyes wide, and his face greening slightly from obvious sickness. It took him a minute or two to completely process what just happened before Gilbert stood up, left the kitchen and walked to the bathroom to see Roderich violently throwing up and shaking. He leaned against the door frame for a bit until Roderich stopped throwing up. Gilbert saw he was still shaking and breathing at a rapid pace so as to keep himself calm. Gilbert then walked over to him, kneeled down and started rubbing his back and whisper calming words in German as Roderich started to calm down and loosen his grip from the toilet seat and essentially go limp against the toilet with his head laying on his left arm and his breathing going shallow and inaudible. Gilbert saw his glasses were askew and his eyes were pouring fresh and warm tears while he waited for the right moment to speak. Roderich's half lidded gaze shifted over to Gilbert who was looking at him with eyebrows furrowed in worry and face void of any of his usual excitement and pride. Roderich sighed slightly while shame went through his body at the fact that his boyfriend was seeing him in this state.

"D…Didn't want you…seeing me like this…" he mumbled with a sniffle.  
Gilbert sighed and continued rubbing circles into his back not really knowing what to say. After a minute or two, Gilbert pulled the already exhausted Roderich away from the toilet and flushed its contents while Roderich's back was against his body and he was panting slightly.

"You should take a shower Roddy and maybe go back to bed." Gilbert suggested with Roderich nodding his head in agreement.  
Helping Roderich stand, the two walked out of the bathroom without a word and started going upstairs to the main bathroom where the shower and bath was with Roderich holding onto the banister of the stairs and Gilbert staying behind him incase he lost his footing which thankfully he didn't. Once they got to the bathroom, Gilbert went in first to take the ruined uniform and put it in the hamper and throw away the used toilet paper balls.

"You go ahead and get in. The awesome me will get you some clothes and a towel." Gilbert told him with a grin trying to lighten the mood a bit.

Roderich nodded and stepped into the bathroom and shut the doors after Gilbert walked out. Once Gilbert left the bathroom to give Roderich a bit of privacy, he sighed and rubbed his face.

"New rule: if your little brother gives you a few medical notes on your boyfriend's health, you better listen to them." He mumbled before going into his and Roderich's room to get Roderich some night clothes.

Gilbert heard the shower start when he took out one of Roderich's white long sleeved button down night shirts along with a pair of black boxer shorts out of the dresser for Roderich to wear for bed and going to the hall closet where the curtains and towels were stored, he pulled out a fluffy navy blue towel. He opened the bathroom door slowly to be blasted by humid and warm air from the hot shower Roderich was taking. He ignored it though and set the towel and clothes on the counter before looking up to the cabinet mirror. A sudden curiosity strikes him about the contents of the cabinet for some reason like there was more than the normal couch medicine, toothpaste and other normal bathroom cabinet mirror contents since he remembered Ludwig's words on Roderich's health. Opening the cabinet, he saw the extra contents. There were a couple of bottles on one of the small shelves; one white and the other a translucent orange with a white tag on the front. Taking them from the cabinet, Gilbert looked at the tags of the bottles to see the words 'Anti-depressant, take two daily' on the white bottle and a long medical name Gilbert didn't bother to read on the orange bottle because he read the words 'Take one daily with anti-depressants' on the said bottle, both prescribed to Roderich. Gilbert furrowed his brows in worry and anger at himself before glancing over at the occupied shower and back to the bottles in his hands. He wanted to dump the bottles in the sink so badly that moment but decided to hold that urge back for Roderich and slowly put them back into the cabinet and closed it, hoping to forget they were in there.

Looking around the counter top, Gilbert saw Roderich's glasses which were fogging up because of the humidity and his iron cross necklace. Gilbert remembered the night before when he saw the precious item around the Austrian's neck. He wondered why Roderich was wearing his necklace to begin with when he knew it was of great sentimental value to Gilbert. Its not that Gilbert was mad, just more confused than anything else. He reached out to claim his necklace back before the shower water stopped running and Roderich sighed on the other side of the shower curtain. Drawing his hand back, Gilbert slowly backed out of the bathroom and closed the door keeping it open a crack before he walked back into his and Roderich's shared bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed to wait for Roderich. After about 5 minutes, Roderich turned the bathroom lights off and walked into the dimly lit bedroom with sullen and hollow looking eyes looking at Gilbert on the bed waiting for him. Gilbert looked up at him, smiled and gestured him to come and sit with him. Roderich put a nervous hand up to his chest and gently took hold of Gilbert's necklace and walked over and sat down next to Gilbert where the two sat in silence for a few moments before Gilbert put a gentle arm around Roderich's shoulders and pulled him into his lap. Roderich's eyes widened a bit in surprise at the sudden movement but otherwise made no move to stop it. Once he found himself sitting on Gilbert's lap, he found himself leaning into Gilbert's body with his still damp hair sticking slightly to his pale face. The two again just sat there for what seemed like an eternity in silence but in a comfortable one. Gilbert broke it after some time.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked gently to Roderich.  
Roderich hesitated to a moment before shaking his head.

"No." he admitted.

Gilbert never really hated these moments when Roderich was most vulnerable like when he was asleep but never really liked them either. It always showed how much pride Roderich kept built as a wall so as not to admit something. Gilbert couldn't be so hypocritical though, he was just as prideful about this sort of stuff and would act the same way when it seemed too much to bear, especially if someone catches you clearly in the act. That's what Roderich was like at this moment. That one little word destroyed that wall of pride once he'd seen that there was no getting out of this one.

"How long has this been going on?" Gilbert asked gently while starting to stroke Roderich drying hair.  
Again, Roderich hesitated.

"A while." He answered, burying his face into Gilbert's chest wanting to hide himself from a very questioning Gilbert.

Gilbert went silent for a moment trying to connect 'a while'.

Did Roderich mean a month?

Two months?

Or even a bit more?

Gilbert couldn't guess properly. He just knew that Roderich was steadily ebbing away for sometime now it seemed. After a bit, Gilbert spoke up again.

"Why didn't you tell anyone? You had me worried. You had the others worried." He mumbled.

Roderich didn't answer. He instead buried himself more into Gilbert's chest with the already coming tears drying into his shirt. He held them back though. Gilbert yawned and looked over at the time to see it was a bit after 10 at night. He looked down at Roderich who was clutching his shirt and keeping his face buried in his chest. It was cute really.

"Let's get to bed Roddy. You need the sleep even with the amount you had today." He said with a chuckle.

Roderich looked up and him slightly through his dark bangs and nodded slightly. Gilbert, keeping a hold of Roderich, laid back into the bed and pulled the covers up to let him and Roderich lay in the bed and pulled them down to keep them warm and ready to sleep. He reached over and turned the light off from Roderich's night table and leaving only the moonlight from outside illuminate the room. Gilbert again looked down at Roderich who was in a fetal position and still lightly clutching his shirt. He noticed his glasses were still on his face. Taking his left arm, he reached down and took them from his face and set them on the night table with Roderich looking tiredly up at him and then burying his face into Gilbert's chest again and staying that way until Gilbert was able to hear the light inhales and exhales of light and slow breaths signaling he was asleep. It seemed like a long time for Gilbert as he was looking at his love sleeping again in his arms after 2 ½ years void of the Austrian's wonderful feel. Gilbert took Roderich hands in his and held it, rubbing Roderich's knuckles gently with his thumb. It wasn't long until his own eyelids started to droop. With Roderich's heartbeat and the feel of his still soft skin lulling him to sleep, Gilbert couldn't help but take the call of sleep. It was easier now. Before he did fall asleep however, he made sure to kiss Roderich's forehead goodnight like he usually did long ago before his incarceration and what he so desperately wanted to do as he was locked away in that hellhole. It almost seemed like a dream but Gilbert knew it was real otherwise he wouldn't be so sore.

"Good night mien liebe." Gilbert mumbled before letting his eyes droop.

The last thing he heard before slipping into wonderful and well deserved sleep, Gilbert heard a mumble of 'Good night Gil.' From his Austrian.

* * *

_**And there's Chapter 5~!**_

_**Fun Fact: Its not illegal to attempt to escape prison in Germany apparently XD**_

_**If I'm wrong, then whatever.**_

_**I also realized I use the most cliché ending to my chapters. Maybe because it's my sleep deprived mind refusing to think any longer :I**_

_**But anyway~ I love all the reviews I'm receiving; they make me feel so loved!**_

_**If I could, I would give you all a cookie :I**_

_**Save for the sweet and crunchy hopes and dreams, I managed to write the rest of this in about 5 hours and now it's after 1 in the morning and I'm tired :)**_

_**Have a wonderful day, and stay tuned for Chapter 6!**_

_**Mien liebe: my love (German)**_

_**~Sunny**_


	6. Promises

Chapter 6: Promises

**Chapter 6 is up~**

**Warning for cursing, hints of alcohol consumption (not very surprising there)**

**Quick Sum So Far: **Gilbert comes home and it gives a surprise to Roderich that the Austrian never expected even when at first he thought Gilbert was an intruder coming into his house for the purpose of invading his kitchen. It was a bit to take in for the Austrian in his state though so it ended up with him fainting from shock and surprise with Gilbert making sure he didn't fall. When Roderich wakes up again, he enters the kitchen at Gilbert's request to have dinner with him. Much to the Austrian's surprise again, Gilbert acts like nothing particularly bad happened and tries to enjoy a dinner with Roderich. As their dinner proceeds, Gilbert tells Roderich of his escape and his sustained injuries while the Austrian sits in initial shock at these facts and the outcome of the albino's plan. Once that part of the conversation is over, points of interest switch for Gilbert when he see's Roderich hasn't touched his food and tells him off for it. Roderich in immediate panic eats it despite his already rising illness from the bulimia. Staying secretive doesn't pay off when Roderich can't hold his food down. In shame and depression after Roderich made Gilbert witness his illness, he let's go of his pride for once to tell Gilbert he's not okay. Gilbert is sympathetic about it. It doesn't end his worries though.

* * *

"He has fucking bulimia stupid ass, and Luddy even told you his diet got smaller so why did you give him too much?" Gilbert scolded himself lightly in the bathroom mirror.

The albino in question had woken up 8 hours after he and Roderich went to bed the night before so it was around the 5:30 AM mark when he woke. Finding he couldn't go back to sleep, he decided to stay up. After about a half an hour, Gilbert was waking up fully by this point and thought back to last night when he and Roderich had dinner. Gilbert was nowhere near mad at Roderich for trying to hide his illness during that time the night before; he was just slightly disappointed and guilty at the moment for giving Roderich too much to eat when he clearly knew Roderich's food proportions were smaller. In all reality, the albino remembered Roderich's eating habits from the past and got somewhat lost in the moment to remember his illness; Roderich almost constantly had food in the house and ate a number of sweet things and yet avoid the weight gain that always came with sweets.  
And so, there Gilbert was: in the bathroom, after a shower, and scolding/giving himself pep talk in front of the mirror. The albino hated pep talks, even to himself, but he needed easy motivation.

"Alright you're reigning awesomeness; you escaped freaking prison so you can help your depressed bulimic possibly suicidal boyfriend. Can't be very hard!" he cheered to himself in a loud whisper so as to not wake the sleeping Austrian in the other room.

Grinning at himself along with a curt nod, Gilbert made it official before strolling out of the bathroom in jeans and one of his black t-shirts with a band logo on it and walked over to the bed to sit at the edge of it next to his sleeping boyfriend. Gilbert always like watching him sleep. That was when he was most peaceful compared to the waking hours of the daytime. Even with his thin body and sickly pale skin, Gilbert couldn't help but think his Austrian was adorable in the sleeping position he was in now: his arms pulled up close to his chin and the relaxed look on his face while his dark and unkempt bangs hung loosely over his eyes. It made the Prussian smile warmly and want to hug the living daylights out of Roderich. He refrained of course because that meant waking him up and waking Roderich up so early meant a crabby Roderich. So Gilbert just stuck to kissing him on the cheek and gently sweeping his bangs off his face.

"Don't worry Little Master, the awesome me will make you better." He mumbled with a wide grin before standing up and leaving the room as the sun started to rise.

When Roderich awoke, it was already noon. He was after all a late riser unless it was for work. Sitting up and yawning, he saw Gilbert was no where to be found in the bedroom making the Austrian assume he was downstairs. Taking his glasses and getting out of bed, Roderich went to the bathroom to fix his bed head. Like all the other times, Roderich had done the same sweeping his bangs away from his face hair routine he was accustomed too and like always, to his displeasure, there was that one lock of hair that seemed to defy gravity on Roderich's head that he had tried numerous times to keep down and controlled but always with no avail seeing as that lock seemed to have a mind of its own it seemed. Roderich would just sigh and leave it be. Sometimes the Austrian would name that gravity defying curl Mariezel just out of playfulness and amusement. After a quick 15 minute fixing up, Roderich stretched and started for the downstairs. Like the day before, he smelled something cooking, probably Gilbert making lunch of some sort. Retracing his steps to the kitchen the night before, Roderich walked in on a cursing Prussian trying to make what looked like an omelet if that's what you could call it since it was pretty much being torn up by the Prussian. Roderich sighed and went over to the stove and took Gilbert's hand which clutched the spatula, surprising the Prussian.

"You flip one side over the other Gilbert." Roderich said as a matter-of-factly to the albino behind him.

Gilbert just watched Roderich expertly flip the omelet in to the pan and press on it before taking the omelet and sliding it on a plate with his hand still over Gilbert's so as to lead him. Once he did, Roderich took his hand from Gilbert's and made a gesture to present Gilbert the well done albeit slightly burnt omelet. Gilbert just looked at the omelet and Roderich who had his arms crossed and grinned widely.

"Aww Roddy, even after 2 ½ years of my awesomeness not being around, you still care about my cooking!" he said happily before leaning in and kissing Roderich on the forehead making the Austrian blush and scoff.

"You were going to burn it and I didn't want the smell going all around the house." He retorted trying to cover his embarrassment.

Gilbert just laughed at Roderich with that unusual 'Kesese' laugh of his and took the omelet to the circular kitchen table. Roderich watched him sit down and looked at the counter to see a mess the albino left behind consisting of a few eggshells and a greasy spatula. He sighed.

"Even after 2 ½ years you still don't know how to clean up after yourself." Roderich said irritably towards Gilbert before he pushed the eggshells into the trash bin next to the counter put the spatula in the sink.  
Gilbert groaned with his mouth full of omelet.

"Oh lighten up Roddy, its just a little mess that the awesome me would clean up anyways." He said with a toothy grin.

"Still just as spic and span as ever Little Master." Gilbert finished making the Austrian sigh and turn around and start to walk away.

"I'm going to get dressed." He said stiffly before attempting to walk out of the kitchen.

"Oh no you don't." Gilbert said as he wrapped his arms around Roderich's waist and pulled him back in his lap.  
Roderich squeaked and blushed before looking at Gilbert with surprise in his violet eyes.  
He fumed a bit and squirmed to get out of Gilbert's grip while the said Prussian was snickering behind him as he attempted to get away. After a minute long and weak wrestle, Roderich sighed and crossed his arms once he settled into the albino's lap against his will. He looked back over at Gilbert who was grinning triumphantly.

"Gilbert let me go." He said simply with Gilbert shaking his head.

"Nope, you're staying here Little Master." He decreed with another toothy grin that Roderich felt he could slap off.

"Why exactly?" he asked with a slight roll of his eyes.

"Finish this egg with me and I'll let you prep yourself up like the schoolgirl you are." Gilbert proclaimed with a smirk.  
Roderich scoffed in annoyance and blushed slightly.

"First of all, I am not a schoolgirl, and second of all, it's your food so you eat it." He told the Prussian with his voice raised slightly.  
The Prussian shook his head again.

"Nuh-uh Roddy, help my reigning awesomeness finish this egg and in return, I'll let you go put your skirts and dresses on for the day." He proclaimed again making Roderich huff again in annoyance knowing the albino wouldn't let him go until he did what he asked.  
With a slightly hesitant sigh, Roderich nodded.

"Fine you idiotic German I'll help you finish it. Also stop implying I am a girl!" he snapped.

"First of all, I'm Prussian which is WAY more awesome than a simple German besides Ludwig and second of all, how awesome of you." He said petting Roderich's hair and turning his chair towards the table again with the Austrian still in his lap.

"Gilbert can I please have my own seat?" Roderich asked.

"Nope, you'll eat in my awesome lap Roddy." He grinned while Roderich sighed and faced the omelet.

"Idiot." He mumbled.

Gilbert had cut his omelet into pieces so as to keep the meal small for Roderich so he wouldn't need to throw up again. Taking the fork, he handed it to Roderich who was still glaring at him in annoyance. Gilbert just quirked a smug smile.

"Eat up Roddy." He encouraged.

Roderich huffed slightly and looked at the proportioned meal. Again, he was hesitant to take a bite of the food because he was paranoid that he wouldn't be able to hold it down well. His pride overcame his paranoia though because of the smug looking Prussian looking at him and still holding by his waist. After a few more seconds of consideration, Roderich pierced one of the omelet pieces with his fork and ate it, chewing slowly before swallowing. It tasted rather awful because Gilbert had burned it a bit.

"There I ate. Now let me go." Roderich demanded with Gilbert shaking his head.

"You call that eating? That was more like you having a small un-filling snack. Eat more." Gilbert said with a hint of command in his voice.

Roderich sighed and took another piece of the egg and ate it expecting it to taste the same as the last piece. Surprisingly, it tasted better than the last piece so that made it easier. Roderich knew just two omelet pieces wouldn't do for the Prussian holding him captive so he took another piece and ate it.

And another.

And another.

Once Roderich thought he had enough, he set his fork down and put his hands on his lap. "That enough 'You're Reigning Awesomeness.'?" Roderich asked still slightly annoyed.  
Gilbert looked over at his plate and saw there were only a couple pieces of his omelet surprising him that Roderich ate almost the entire omelet.

"That's enough Little Master." He said squeezing Roderich slightly with a hug.

"Now go put your make-up on." He said playfully as Roderich slipped off his lap and glared at him again.

"Stop that Gilbert, I am not a woman." He snapped before walking out of the kitchen in a huff.  
Gilbert chuckled.  
"Sometimes I wonder Roddy since you spend a long damn time just messing with your hair!" Gilbert yelled out to Roderich as the Austrian was making his way upstairs.

Roderich sighed as he entered his room and just went on with changing his clothes and surprisingly, without any sick feeling he would usually get after eating even a small meal. It confused the Austrian because he had eaten a good amount of the omelet when in reality he probably would have stuck with one piece had it not been that Gilbert made him eat more. A good proportioned meal or not, it still didn't help Roderich's appearance yet when he looked at himself in the mirror. Roderich had unbuttoned his night shirt and opened it and glanced at the mirror next to his dresser when he did to see himself; ribs and collar bones poking out, hip bones apparent and slightly sunk stomach which probably may have sunk more if it weren't for his meal minutes ago. Roderich then looked at his hands. A pianist hands were naturally thin and petite no matter what gender and Roderich was a well endowed pianist but looking at his hands now, he thought they were just the bones of his hands wrapped in a thin skin seeing as how his knuckles were more visible than normal. Roderich's brows furrowed in…disgust.  
He never really observed his appearance before recently but now as he checked himself out in the mirror he couldn't help but feel disgusted by his skeleton-like appearance. To be quite frank, he detested it and hated himself for letting himself do that. Roderich remembered though that before he had no care whatsoever in…well, anything, his appearance included so why did he suddenly have any type of care in his body? If he wasn't more confused before, he was downright skeptical and annoyingly so. Growling to himself, he took the nightshirt off and threw it into the nearby clothes bin so that he was in his black boxers and pulling out his outfit for the day.  
A white button up dress shirt, an ascot, black slacks, and a black waistcoat was Roderich's everyday attire like today and probably for the future. Roderich had always been a proper aristocratic person so almost everything about him was classy and symmetrical so to dress in anything other than the attire he was in now besides pajamas, Roderich would otherwise be slightly uncomfortable about. That and Roderich was Obsessive Compulsive about many things so anything wrong or out of place would irritate him and he would focus on fixing whatever was out of place.  
Gilbert however was the opposite and it was Roderich's greatest pet peeve about the man seeing as how even after Gilbert came home, he still ended up cleaning the albino's messes.

Once Roderich finished dressing himself for the day, he left his room and went back downstairs hoping Gilbert hadn't messed up his kitchen.

"Gilbert?" he called.

The albino didn't answer him.

"Gilbert? Where are you?" he called with a raised brow once he came downstairs.

"Gilbert!" he called irritably and putting his hands on his hips.

There was then the sound of shoes running towards his direction before a head of white hair poked out of one of the house's hallways, specifically the hallway that held the lounge, the library, and Roderich's piano room.

"Hey Roddy, come in here for a sec?" the albino requested with a toothy grin.

Roderich with a raised brow crossed his arms before walking over to Gilbert who was now leaning onto the doorframe leading into the hallway.

"Why Gilbert? What business do you possibly want to include me in?" he asked.

"Just come on Little Master, don't ask questions." He pushed before grabbing Roderich's hand and leading him in the hallway, until they entered Roderich's piano room.

Gazing upon his beloved grand piano, Roderich wondered what Gilbert would want with the item in question. His questions were answered when Gilbert sat him down on the bench and sat next to him.

"Play it Little Master." Gilbert demanded with his mischievous grin.

Roderich raised a brow.

"Come on, can't a guy hear his awesome anthem on the piano after who knows how long in prison? You're even dressed up for it!" Gilbert whined.

"I simply dressing up in my normal attire does not mean I'm material for playing the piano Gilbert." Roderich retorted but knowing he would never deny playing his beloved instrument even at the idiotic albino's request.

Roderich had always loved the piano. He distinctly remembered having an unadulterated interest in it when he would watch his parents play it when he was a toddler and soon started getting lessons from them when he was in preschool and from then on. The Edelstein's were well known for their musical talent spanning on since even before Roderich's great grandparents were born and like any other Edelstein, Roderich mastered the instrument immediately before he even turned 10, a musical prodigy essentially. Roderich didn't care though he played the piano for the love of the instrument. Roderich could memorize any classical piece he could as long as it was on the piano. Memorizing also meant requests from Gilbert. At one point in their relationship, Gilbert had nagged Roderich to play the Prussian anthem for him but Roderich always refused the Prussian man. While Gilbert constantly nagged his favorite Austrian, Roderich did actually start memorizing the anthem and didn't play it until Gilbert's 22cd birthday once they were alone. It resulted in Gilbert kissing the breath out of the Austrian. Aside from that, Roderich was whiz with classical music. Any piece there could be he could play. That was the only thing Roderich could boast about sometimes when he would finds himself playing any piano based Beethoven or Mozart piece in front of a crowd or a party. But even when he wasn't playing for fun, he generally played to express his emotions like Mozart if he were in a good mood, Beethoven if he were in a depressed mood, Schumann if he was in a serene mood and Chopin if he were angry. Even while Gilbert was in prison, Roderich played. He played more Beethoven and Chopin than anything else.

From Gilbert's perspective of Roderich's playing, he would always tease the Austrian about saying it was prissy and girly for him when in reality he loved hearing the Austrian play. He'd never be caught dead admitting it verbally though; he was too prideful for such a thing. The only thing he'd ever admit to about Roderich and his piano playing was when he played the Prussian anthem specifically for him. It always made him feel special to Roderich.  
Gilbert also learned to catch on with Roderich's mood playing the pieces by certain composers he would play. For example: if Roderich were playing Mozart or Schumann, Gilbert could tell that Roderich was in a good mood. If he played Beethoven or any depressed sounding pieces, Gilbert could tell Roderich needed a bit of cheering up. If he were playing Chopin however, Gilbert could tell Roderich was in no mood for anything funny or teasing from Gilbert which resulted in Gilbert generally leaving him alone.

Stretching his hands out on the ivory keys, he prepared to play his wonderful instrument while Gilbert watched him from his right. After a familiar and calming exhale, Roderich let go of his reality so as to play the piece well. It always helped. Once he exhaled, he began to play the anthem of the once Kingdom of Prussia.  
The sound rang beautifully throughout the house as the once well known anthem was played skillfully by Roderich. While he did, Gilbert listened to his Little Master play as Roderich's eyes closed and it was just his hands gliding over the keys smoothly and without mistake.  
Before Roderich knew how to play the anthem, it was actually quite hard to play it and play it properly. If it wasn't trying to find the piece for the piano, it was having to properly make the piece himself. Roderich finally took it upon himself to do as Gilbert asked because his birthday was approaching and Roderich figured why not. He thought it would be easy but as it turned out, Roderich couldn't find the anthem anywhere for the piano. In attempt to get the anthem, he brought it upon himself to listen to the anthem on the internet many times and while he did that, he was putting the anthem into a piece for the piano. Through much hard work and determination though, Roderich actually managed to make the piece in time for Gilbert's birthday. Least to say, Gilbert was a happy Prussian. Roderich still felt the bruises on his lips the next day from the fiery kissing he received from Gilbert.

After that, Gilbert would ask Roderich to play it regularly ask Roderich to play the anthem and would always say 'My awesomeness request my awesome anthem!' and Roderich would play it depending on his mood, like now for instance. Roderich was just annoyed but that was normal for Roderich so there was no problem.

Meanwhile, Gilbert listened intently. Besides the beer he was surely going to drink, Gilbert also wanted to hear his anthem from Roderich's piano when he came back from prison. Listening to it now made Gilbert feel nostalgic all of a sudden like he missed these simple piano requests for Roderich to play. Either that or just hearing and watching Roderich play the piano gave him that feeling. He wanted to hear more.

Once Roderich finished the anthem, he put his hands on his lap and sighed before looking at Gilbert who was looking at him in awe and grinning.

"That was as awesome as ever. It is the awesome Prussia's anthem though so it's awesome anyway." Gilbert commented grinning cheekily and making Roderich blush slightly.

"Danke Gilbert." He said looking at his piano and putting his hands over the keys again before playing Mozart's Rondo Alla Turca.  
Gilbert just smiled and listened and watched his boyfriend play his music knowing Roderich was in a good mood despite his annoyed appearance.

While Roderich was playing his piano and Gilbert was watching him, a sleek silver car pulled up in Roderich's driveway. The driver along with his own boyfriend stopped the car. Feliciano pulled out a file from the glove box as he and Ludwig exited the car.  
Roderich had finished playing another Mozart piece when he and Gilbert heard Ludwig's car door close.

"Ludwig must be checking up." Roderich said mainly to no one.

He missed the surprised and excited expression come across Gilbert's face. Roderich then stood up and dusted himself before going to walk to the front door.

"I'll go tell him you are-"Roderich was stopped by Gilbert running past him and laughing happily.  
Roderich sighed and followed after him. Ludwig was outside while Feliciano was talking fast about how Roderich would be happy about his half completed work along with other things.

"Perhaps I should try to make some pasta for him. He loves my pasta so he has to eat it!" Feliciano said excitedly with Ludwig smiling slightly.

"I'll ask him Feli." Ludwig said to the excited Italian not noticing the front room curtains shift.

He was about to knock on the door but someone on the other side beat him to it and gave him a bear hug.

"Luddy! Gott I thought you weren't going to visit anytime soon! Damn you're so slow about this!" Gilbert yelled excitedly while Ludwig just stood there with wide eyes.

Gilbert just hugged Ludwig tightly and when he pulled away, he grinned at his brother and patted his shoulder and saw his shocked face.

"Gilbert!" Feliciano exclaimed before running to hug the albino.  
Gilbert laughed and hugged the Italian back.

"Hey there Feli! Awesome to see you as well!" Gilbert exclaimed as Roderich came behind them.

Gilbert and Feliciano parted and Gilbert looked at Ludwig who was still shocked. He laughed that strange laugh of his and looked at Ludwig.

"What Luddy? Is my awesomeness too much to take in at the moment?" Gilbert asked jokingly.

Ludwig just blinked and opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. Gilbert then gave him a pat on the back.

"Come on in Luddy we know you want too." Gilbert offered leading Ludwig inside and shutting the front door while Feliciano was talking Roderich's ear off with questions about his health and pasta.

Once everyone sat down and got comfortable, the first thing Ludwig asked was how in God's name Gilbert was there. Gilbert happily and awesomely explained the whole story to Ludwig and Feliciano with Feliciano jumping at some parts and Ludwig silent but surprised all the same. Roderich found time to serve tea and some pastries since this was now pretty much a social visit while Gilbert explained his story and sat next to Gilbert as he did.

"Oh my Gilbert, that sounds scary!" Feliciano exclaimed clinging to Ludwig's arm.

"Gott Gilbert, are you okay?" Ludwig asked worriedly with Gilbert laughed loudly.

"I'm as awesome as ever Luddy! Don't worry about me." Gilbert reassured with a toothy grin.

"The only thing that's making me sick is the lack of alcohol in my veins!" Gilbert exclaimed.

Ludwig chuckled.

"You did say you wanted beer when you came out so it wouldn't hurt." Ludwig said standing up.

Gilbert was honestly a bi surprised.

"You're actually gonna get beer?" Gilbert asked with a raised brow and Ludwig nodding in reply.

"Of course, brother. Celebration for you keeping your promise." Ludwig said with a smile remembering when Gilbert said he would escape and he didn't believe him.

"_Well I should have expected it a bit knowing Gilbert." _Ludwig thought before heading towards the front door.

"Feli, do you want to come?" Ludwig asked the excited Italian who replied by jumping and running out the front door.

Ludwig sighed and turned to Gilbert and Roderich who were still seated on the couch.

"We'll be back shortly." Ludwig said before waving them both goodbye and leaving.

Once he left, Roderich couldn't help but think of what he meant when he said Gilbert 'keeping his promise'. What did the German man mean?

"Gilbert, what did he mean when he said you kept your promise?" Roderich asked the albino.

Gilbert blinked at him and blushed ever so slightly, not daring to tell him what his younger brother meant. Roderich waited for a response from the Prussian but instead got a question.

"Hey Roddy, you wanna stop by a place for a few minutes?" Gilbert asked after an idea popped into his head.

Roderich raised a brow.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I wanna go somewhere with you for like a few minutes." Gilbert asked again with a hopeful smile.

Blinking and still confused, Roderich thought for a moment.

"But what about Ludwig and Feli? It's impolite to leave unannounced." Roderich said with Gilbert sighing.

"I'll write them a note or something, can we just go?" Gilbert begged.

Knowing the albino wouldn't stop begging until he got what he wanted, Roderich sighed and nodded. Gilbert grinned and stood up quickly to scurry into the kitchen for a minute or two before he came out with a yellow post-it note with something written on it.

"Now come on Roddy, get your jacket. Kinda chilly out there." Gilbert said before racing upstairs presumably to get his shoes while a confused Roderich stood up and went to the coat rack next to the front doors and took his knee long dark blue coat from the rack and put it on and buttoned it up, his shoes already on his feet.

Gilbert came back down in a red and slightly worn jacket and a pair of white shoes with black stripes on the sides. He grinned at Roderich before the two went outside the door. Gilbert stopped for a moment to put the post it note on the front doors.

_Me and Roddy'll be out for a bit._

_You don't need to knock, just enter the house and wait for us._

_Gotta visit someone not too far from here._

_Your Awesome brother,_

_Gilbert_

The note Gilbert wrote read. After he did, he jogged over to Roderich who was waiting by the gate and finally exited the grounds of the house and started walking.  
Roderich was silent for a brief moment as he and an equally silent Gilbert were walking out of his neighborhood.

"Where are we going?" Roderich asked before Gilbert suddenly but gently grabbed his hand and held it.

"We're gonna visit someone Roddy." Gilbert said looking back at him with a cheeky grin.

"Who?" Roderich asked.

Gilbert went silent for a moment.

"You'll see. Just wanna give them the good news." He said when he and Roderich walked past the small park not to far from Roderich's neighborhood.

The walk itself was at least 15 minutes. The two men passed some familiar places in their relatively small hometown from their younger years like their old middle school, a music shop Roderich loved to go too before it closed, and a gas station that Gilbert decided to keep his gaze from. A few people recognized Gilbert and bid him a welcome back after he explained why he was suddenly walking the streets again while a few others just looked at him funny for reasons Gilbert had an idea for. He just ignored it and continued walking with Roderich's hand still in his. Roderich was getting a bit impatient after a while and was going to ask how long it would take until Gilbert interrupted him by saying they had arrived. Roderich found himself looking at a small but homey looking house. His eyes widened in realization and then he saddened slightly as he and Gilbert entered the so far abandoned property from the aging white fence surrounding the place. Gilbert was delicate not to disturb any of the plant life that grew there which consisted of bushes that needed trimmed, dozens of types of flowers that remained weed free and the slightly long grass. Gilbert just went to the back of the house with Roderich still in his hold. The backyard was a tad worse than the front because the grass was longer and there were signs that other people had invaded the property which pissed Gilbert off slightly.

"_I ever find someone invading this place, I'll kick their ass." _Gilbert thought before he spotted what he came here for.

A grave.

A breeze of autumn air blew by Gilbert and Roderich as they both stepped up to the grave. Gilbert saw there were leave covering the base of the grave so he swept them away to fully see the name on the grave:

_Frederick William II_

_1932-2006_

_A Husband, A Father, A Great Man_

_My God Be With You_

That's what was written on the stone in German. There was also a carved inscription on the stone next to the name in small and still readable letters.

_Der Alte Fritz_

'Old Fritz' it said.

Gilbert kneeled down in front of the grave while Roderich stood behind him.

"Hey Fritz." Gilbert greeted to the grave.

Roderich saddened more at this because of the fact that Gilbert was visiting his old friend's grave. Roderich then suddenly thought about Gilbert's and Fritz's old relationship and remembered the last time Roderich saw the old man.

* * *

_Frederick, or 'Fritz' as he liked to be called, was a kind man in more ways than one to both the community and to Gilbert. Fritz had once served in the German army as a captain when he was younger he had ties with the police force in the town as a night watchman of sorts for some years after he retired from the army from an injury when he was 45. At least that's what Roderich had heard about the man from Gilbert's mouth when Roderich had asked who the man was since Gilbert talked about him a lot and didn't bother to tell Roderich anything about him until the Austrian had commanded him to explain Fritz which Gilbert gladly did so. Meeting Fritz was a different story. Gilbert popped the question to Roderich randomly when he said he was going to stay at Fritz's house for the day and Roderich took up the chance. Being 13 at the time, Roderich was somewhat nervous because of what Gilbert had told about the man. He expected Fritz to be strict of sorts and tempered to a degree. When Roderich met him, he was the opposite. Fritz greeted the teen like he would any adult man with politeness and respect along with a warm and genuine smile that curved his wrinkled lips and had even invited Roderich for dinner with him and Gilbert which Roderich accepted along with his parents with a simple phone call._

_At the table, the three had good conversations with one another while they all ate. Roderich and Fritz were already good friends by that time and Roderich would come over to Fritz's home when Gilbert would much of the time and had always enjoyed his company. Sometimes it was nice to talk with a respectable man such as Fritz. _

_That's why Roderich was also worried when he started to take ill at 74._

_It wasn't as high as Gilbert's worry though. Gilbert was 20 at the time and he spent almost all of his time taking care of Fritz the other part being work. Roderich helped out as well just to help his friend and be there for Gilbert because even though Fritz's doctor didn't quite figure out what was wrong with him, Roderich had the sinking feeling that Fritz wasn't going to make it. He was getting worse instead of better as time went by._

_August 16__th__ was the last day Roderich saw Fritz.  
Gilbert had to take another co worker's shift at his work at pizzeria he worked at and Roderich offered to take care of Fritz while the albino was at work to which Gilbert gave him huge thanks even though he was still hesitant to leave. Roderich and Fritz talked while Roderich took to any of Fritz's needs from the time Gilbert left for work around noon until he was supposed to come back around 6 at night. It was a peaceful time for both of them._

"_Honestly I think I would enjoy a crowd of people watching me play my piano on stage." Roderich told Fritz when the subject of what either of them wanted to do with their music if they had a chance to do something with that music.  
Fritz chuckled._

"_That sounds wonderful but I think I would just enjoy playing my flute with a smaller crowd in the park during a festival. That one sounds quite fun." Fritz said with another chuckle making Roderich scoff playfully as he took Fritz's teacup from his nightstand._

"_Playing the piano can be fun if it's with a crowd of people. I just hope I don't have too much stage fright." He said with Fritz nodding and coughing._

_That one cough soon turned into a coughing fit and Roderich gave the old man a handkerchief to cough in while he patted the hunching man's back. Once Fritz finished he sighed and laid back._

"_Can I get you anything?" Roderich asked._

_Fritz shook his head and smiled slightly._

"_Can you sit dear boy?" he asked Roderich while the Austrian obliged and grabbed his desk chair to sit on in front of Fritz._

"_Is something on your mind Fritz?" Roderich asked with the sickly man nodding._

"_Actually, there is. Specifically it's for you to hear." He said smiling his always apparent warm smile._

_Roderich couldn't help but wonder what Fritz was on about until he looked down at his lap sadly._

"_I told Gilbert that my…time is close." He started with a chuckle._

"_He's as stubborn as always, saying that I'll be fine but I know I won't be…"he trailed off._

_Roderich looked at him with furrowed brow._

"_He can be stubborn. I've known him for 6 years and if its one thing I know about him, he's as stubborn as a mule." Roderich said with Fritz chuckling._

"_You both are but that's what makes you both in one way I believe. Be that as it may though, he's hooked on the hope that I'll get better and it worries me for when I do pass, how he will be like." He said with his wrinkled brows furrowing in worry._

"_You seem to care about him like a son Fritz." Roderich inquired._

_Fritz smiled. _

"_I do consider him so and I know he considers me a father. That's why I worry because he thinks that highly of me. I fear he may not take my passing well. That's why I am coming to you about it. A last request you could say." He said._

_Roderich's interest peaked and he felt something inside him sink._

"_Last request? What do you mean?" he asked inquisitively._

"_What I mean is that I want you to do one last deed for me." Fritz said._

_Roderich was silent trying to think of what he wanted. His thoughts stopped dead with the next thing Fritz said._

"_Gilbert is very fond of you Roderich, I'm sure you know. He talks about you almost constantly." He said with a chuckle._

"_He also told me at one point that besides me you are the next person he admires more than anything else. He trusts you Roderich and when I go, you'll probably be the first person he'll go too to count on. Roderich my last request is this: when Gilbert falls, and he will, help him back on his feet." Fritz told Roderich with all seriousness yet still with his warm smile._

_Roderich was surprised. Gilbert thought that highly of him? He knew before that Gilbert had possessed a different type of feelings for Roderich besides friendship but Roderich had no idea that Gilbert might need him this bad after Fritz's coming end. He bowed his head._

"_I may have been too selfish to notice. I didn't ever think that." He mumbled._

_Roderich was silent for a moment in thought about Fritz's words. He then felt a hand cover his own. Roderich looked up at Fritz to see an expression on his face that he had seen on his father, one of understanding._

"_Don't shame yourself. I bet he won't know it until the time comes either." Fritz reassured with a squeeze of Roderich's hands._

_The dying man's expression went sad._

"_Take care of Gilbert. Be there for him." Fritz finished before the sound of the front door opening went through to his bedroom._

_Gilbert came in obviously tired and overworked. Roderich stood up and sat him down before the man fell over._

"_Gilbert I'm going to go for the night for my studies. I'll be back tomorrow though." Roderich told the exhausted Gilbert.  
The albino replied with a nod and Roderich said his final goodbye to Fritz while the man smiled up at him with a knowing and hopeful smile that Roderich could never forget from him._

_The next day, Roderich hadn't heard from Gilbert. He decided to go over and check up on them. The shock that went through his body froze for a good 10 minutes as he saw the ambulance in front of the home and two paramedics take Fritz's body into the ambulance and prepare to leave. Once he snapped out of his shock, the very first thing that crossed his mind was the whereabouts of Gilbert. He didn't need to look for long when he saw the albino with his head down sitting on the swinging bench on Fritz's porch not moving a muscle whatsoever. The Austrian sprinted to the porch managing to dodge all the other paramedics on the property. Once he stepped on the porch, Gilbert didn't even look up to see who was there. He actually seemed to be somewhere else at least mentally. Cautiously, Roderich approached and sat on the swinging bench still not getting the attention of the albino. Roderich scooted closer and gently touched Gilbert's shoulder. That got his attention._

_Gilbert slowly looked up at Roderich. There were dry tear streaks on his cheeks and his eyes looked so lifeless and so filled with sorrow. Roderich felt sympathetic and like he could cry himself. He gave Gilbert a gentle squeeze on his shoulder._

"_I'm sorry." He whispered loud enough for Gilbert to hear._

_Gilbert didn't talk back to him, he instead buried his face into Roderich's shoulder. Roderich had it in mind to pet Gilbert's messy hair to try and sooth Gilbert when he found the albino was silently sobbing into his shoulder._

* * *

Roderich snapped out of his memory when he heard Gilbert speak to Fritz's grave.

"Hey guess what Fritz? I escaped prison. I actually escaped that hellhole! Luddy said I couldn't but look where I am now. I'm with Roddy and finally back home. Hope your doin' good as well Fritz." Gilbert spoke with a triumphant grin.

Roderich smiled slightly that Gilbert went this far to tell his old friend he's out of prison and alive like Fritz was still alive himself. Roderich was one for 'keeping a memory alive' and Roderich loved that about him. Roderich knew Gilbert and Fritz were very close so it wasn't a simple 'keeping his memory alive'. Sometimes, Roderich figured Fritz also tried to talk to Gilbert occasionally as much as Gilbert would speak to Fritz. As long as it made Gilbert happy, Roderich could let them do whatever they wanted.

"I've seen better days but I'm okay for now Fritz. Right now I'm just focusing on Roderich. You see, he's a bit sick but don't worry, the awesome me will fix him!" Gilbert proclaimed to the grave with a grin and looking back over at Roderich.

"I swear it Fritz, I'll make Roderich better." He said again before rubbing the top of the grave stone and standing up.

"We gotta go though. Luddy's at Roderich's place waiting for us so we got to get there soon or he'll worry." He said with a chuckle before turning to Roderich.

Roderich smiled slightly at him knowing exactly what the albino just said. Roderich walked over to the stone and rubbed the top of it as well.

"I hope things are good on your end." He said to the stone before he took Gilbert's hand which was out for Roderich to take.

They both took a quick look back at the grave stone before leaving the property and walking back home with heavy hearts.

Once they made it back home, sure enough Ludwig's car was in the driveway. Gilbert got a bit excited.

Ludwig's car=Ludwig brought beer after all in Gilbert's mind.

"It looks like s Ludwig and Feli are home." Roderich inquired.

Gilbert snickered and brought him into an embrace.

"That means beer~." He sang while Roderich sighed.

"I still don't see how you stomach that stuff Gilbert." He mumbled with Gilbert giving him a mock surprise face.

"Roddy! I'm hurt! As an awesome Prussian, we must have beer in our systems! Hell, me and Luddy's blood is made of beer! It's like our energy drink, our fountain of youth, our holy water!" the albino went on before Roderich stopped him and went towards his house.

Like the car predicted, Ludwig and Feliciano were in the living room with two 12 packs of Gilbert's favorite beer. Not only that but Antonio and Francis with Arthur and Lovino sitting idly on the couch as well. It honestly couldn't get better for the Prussian. Roderich was just surprised at the amount of company he was receiving in his household. He had a feeling he should object to this but seeing Gilbert and his friends reunite happily made him think twice about objecting. That and Ludwig gave him the look of 'Don't-Worry-I'll-Make-Sure-They-Don't-Destroy-The -House' and Roderich knew he could trust Ludwig. Deciding it best to let Gilbert rejoice with his friends, Roderich made his way to the kitchen where there sat a small plate of pastries with a note next to the plate. Roderich picked it up and saw they were for him.

_I made these for you Roderich!_

_Please get better soon!_

_Feliciano~_

Roderich chuckled and sat down at the table.

"That boy is too sweet for his own good." Roderich mumbled before eyeing the pastries.

There were about six of them and they were barely bigger than one of Arthur's terrible scones. Luckily Roderich knew very well that these weren't Arthur's scones; he'd be sick just by smelling them. No these looked appetizing. Even to Roderich, they looked appetizing and good.

"Maybe just one." Roderich thought aloud before taking one of the pastries and stuffing it in his mouth.

Minutes later, all the pastries were gone.

Hours go by until its 8 at night. The twp 12 packs are gone and Arthur was stone drunk while Gilbert, Antonio, Francis and Ludwig were just tipsy and the Vargas brothers just watched in amusement at the sight before them what with Francis trying to get a yelling Arthur out of the house. Soon enough, Francis and Antonio get Arthur in Francis's car where Francis says goodbye to Gilbert and leaves with Arthur. Antonio and Lovino leave as well just after Francis and Arthur left leaving just Ludwig, Feliciano, Gilbert, and Roderich. Even then, Ludwig and Feliciano had to leave because Ludwig had to be at work in the morning.

"Aw okay Luddy the awesome me will let you do your boring work." Gilbert proclaimed to his brother with a toothy grin.

Ludwig smiled and sighed.

"Whatever Gilbert, it brings food in the house." Ludwig said with Gilbert giving him a brotherly hug.  
Ludwig hugged back. Gilbert chuckled.

"That's right hug the awesomeness." He said before Ludwig pushed him away making Gilbert whine.

"Aww Luddy that's cruel!" he complained crowing him arms in a huff.

Ludwig just chuckled and waved him goodbye whereas Gilbert did the same.

"Bye Luddy! Bye Feli!" he called to them both when they were going to the car.

Feliciano waved back and said a loud Italian goodbye before Ludwig coaxed him into the car and the two drove back home.

Gilbert sighed in content and stretched his limbs before closing the door. Now that that was all done, where was his Little Master?

"Hey Roddy~!" Gilbert called in a sing song voice that generally came with a tipsy Gilbert.

Of course, no answer.

Gilbert sighed and rubbed his face before he stumbled back into the living room.

"Roddy come on out please." He called throughout the downstairs.

Again he wasn't answered verbally; instead he was answered with Schumann's Dreaming gently being played on the piano that resided in the house implying that Roderich was with it. Gilbert made an 'ahh' sound and started for the piano room that he was sure Roderich was in.  
He was.  
Who else do you expect to play Schumann in that house?

Anyways, yes Roderich was in his piano room playing his favorite piece by Schumann. The Austrian found himself in a surprisingly calm mood even with the hours long boisterous activities of Gilbert and his friends. He was actually glad he managed to stay out of their way and did his own thing for a while he waited for the others to leave. Its not that he didn't enjoy company but generally not company such as Francis and Antonio mainly because he never found anything in common with them and he was too cautious around Francis for his own good so that didn't help. Now that they were gone, Roderich could finally focus on his music without distraction.  
How wrong could he be?

Once he started playing Schumann, he was stopped by the sound of a body slipping and hitting the ground face-first. He sighed, not needing to turn his head to see who it was.

"Gilbert, may I have a moment of piece with my piano?" Roderich asked the Prussian irritably.

Said Prussian sat up and rubbed his head.

"You've had moments of peace for hours so now I'm going to enter with my awesomeness. Screw peace!" he exclaimed getting up and going towards Roderich and nearly tripping over the bench but managing to catch it in time and sit himself down next to Roderich.

The Austrian sighed and tried to push him off the bench.

"Go to bed or something and let me play my music." Roderich told Gilbert who shook his head.

"Nope, the awesome me wants to watch you play~" he sang nuzzling Roderich's shoulder.

Roderich blushed at the affectionate contact but just pushed Gilbert away again.

"If you want to watch then sit somewhere else." He said pointing a random direction making Gilbert whine.

"Come on Roddy, I wanna watch you play. You play so pretty~" he said leaning his head on the palm of his hand while his arm rested on the edge of the piano.

Roderich glared at him for a full moment before sighing.

"If you mess anything up, I'll personally kick you out." He said stretching his hands over the keys again while Gilbert put his hand up in surrender.

Roderich exhaled and looked for the starting key before resuming Schumann's Dreaming again.

Roderich planned to just play a couple pieces for 45 minutes while Gilbert watched him. After another 15 minutes, Gilbert found himself falling asleep on the edge of the piano. He did for a brief moment but woke up when he lost balance and nearly fell off the piano, catching himself in time before he fell on his head. Roderich stopped playing and looked over at Gilbert to see him fall, catch himself and climb back up on the bench.

"Gilbert, are you okay?" Roderich asked with the albino nodding.

"Bit tired is all." He said.

"Looks like real tired if you nearly fell off the bench." Roderich retorted.  
Gilbert yawned and Roderich sighed.

"Let's get you too bed." Roderich told him standing up and grabbing his arm for him to stand up as well before leading the tipsy albino towards the stairs.

Gilbert, his mind slightly hazed by the alcohol, just let Roderich lead him upstairs and into their room and sit him on the edge of the bed. Roderich faced Gilbert and examined him.

"God you're a mess Gilbert. Change your clothes please; your other ones are dirty." Roderich complained.

Gilbert nonchalantly nodded his head, stood up, and went over to the dresser and grabbed just a pair of pajama pants and changed into that while Roderich had his back turned and let Gilbert change. Once the albino was finished, he yawned and looked back at Roderich who still had his back turned. He smirked.

"Embarrassed to see my awesome body Roddy~?" he purred making Roderich blush when he turned around to come face to face with a well built and pale torso the Prussian called his own.

He sputtered for a moment but refrained from answering him and walked past him to get his own pajamas: a white button-up night shirt that reached his waist. Gilbert watched him pull it out and thought back to the night he came back and saw Roderich in one of his t-shirts and remembered how adorable he was. A grin crossed his face that would shame the Cheshire cat.

"You can use one of my t-shirts Roddy if you want. I know you like 'em~" he purred rather close to Roderich's ear making him shudder and blush.

Roderich turned his head to glare at Gilbert hoping his face wasn't as red as he thought it probably was.

"I-I'm fine with my own thank you!" he snapped making the Prussian verbally seducing him grin more.

"Aw come on Roddy, you look incredibly sexy in my t-shirts." He pushed making him blush harder.

"N-No! I'll keep to my own!" Roderich squeaked before running past Gilbert and into the bathroom, shutting the door quickly.

Gilbert sighed and plopped himself on the edge of the bed again waiting for Roderich. After 5 minutes, the Austrian came out in his night shirt, black boxers, and crossed arms. Gilbert looked at him for a moment before another idea crossed his mind making him grin again and stand up to walk over to Roderich while Roderich was glaring at him slightly.

"There. Now I'm not going to change my mind." Roderich said with a perk of his nose.

Gilbert walked up to Roderich.

"Alright Roddy. It would have still looked sexy on your body~" he purred leaning in close to the Austrian's face.  
Roderich blushed and gently pushed him away.

"Whatever Gilbert, go to bed. That alcohol smells awful on your breath." Roderich ordered the Prussian before trying to go over to the bed.

He was stopped with a pair of arms wrapping around his torso and a fluffy head of white hair nuzzling his neck. Roderich felt his heart flutter at the affection even if Gilbert was on the verge of drunk. Said albino then turned him around with his arms still around his torso and looked down at Roderich.

"Have I kissed you yet?" he suddenly asked.

"W-What?" Roderich asked blushing and Gilbert smirking.

"I've been here almost 3 days and I have yet to receive a kiss." He said grinning.

Roderich could swear his face was as red as a tomato by now with all the warmth flowing to it. It was a simple request from Gilbert so it couldn't hurt so Roderich leaned up and gave him a peck on the cheek. Gilbert frowned.

"Not what I meant." He said before capturing the brunette's lips in his.

Said brunette's eyes widened but otherwise didn't push the Prussian away. He actually leaned into it.

It had been 2 ½ years since Gilbert and Roderich established this type of closeness. Not the one established by a cold sheet of glass, one that was real, warm, and needed. Neither could really describe it in words but if they could, both men could describe it as blissful.

That's what it was.

Bliss.

Feeling each other's lips upon the others was nothing short of the feeling. It was all too wonderful for them.

The kiss lasted more than it should have in both their minds but neither cared, and soon Gilbert pulled Roderich closer and Roderich's arms went around Gilbert's neck when Gilbert decided to take the kiss deeper. It started slow and sweet but soon turned somewhat rough and more passionate until they both pulled away for much needed oxygen.  
Roderich still secure in Gilbert's arms looked up at him with half lidded and hazy eyes and a red face before Gilbert dove in for another kiss that sent them both onto the bed. Luckily, no objections were heard.  
Once they both were in a comfortable spot on the bed with Gilbert keeping Roderich as close as possible to his body and Roderich gripping Gilbert's hair while straddling him while lips and tongues clashed so beautifully together, they both just enjoyed their moment with the other without a single care in the world.  
They couldn't be anymore happier with such a feeling.

In the midst of the passionate kissing, Gilbert wanted to take it to the next level when he started fiddling with the buttons on Roderich's night shirt so as to take it off.

He was stopped by a hand on his chest.

"S-Stop." Roderich mumbled ducking his head from Gilbert's face as if in shame.

Gilbert took a moment to breathe before he raised a confused eyebrow.

"Why not?" he asked his Austrian noticing how he was keeping his face from view.

Roderich only seconds earlier was more than willing to share this moment with the man he loved and even had a thought to take it further with Gilbert just to finally feel him after so long until he remembered looking into the mirror earlier; the sight of his unhealthily skinny body still affixed on his mind and how Roderich thought it was just disgusting to look at. When Gilbert was fondling with his shirt buttons that thought immediately popped in his head along with the realization that Gilbert would see his body and feel the same he did. Such awful thoughts made Roderich pull away and stop before he even proved his theory. It only made his shame worse when Gilbert asked what was wrong.

"I-It's just…well…" Roderich tried to speak but couldn't find the right words.

"You cheating on me Roddy?" Gilbert asked jokingly making Roderich sputter.

"No nothing like that! Just…give me a moment to think." He said.

Gilbert waited for a response. Roderich stuttered for a long moment trying to find his words until he sighed and sat up to face Gilbert, his dark locks tussled on his face slightly and the first few buttons starting from the collar of his nightshirt unbuttoned. The Austrian's expression looked clearly shamed not daring to look at the Prussian. Gilbert meanwhile propped himself up with his elbows to look properly at Roderich and how troubled he looked. He scanned him for a moment to see his iron cross still around Roderich's neck. Gilbert remembered he wanted to get it back but must have forgotten about it. Without thinking, he reached out and took it gently in his hands making Roderich look at him. He smiled and chuckled.

"I knew you liked wearing my stuff." Gilbert said putting the cross on its soft resting place with Roderich putting his hand over it and sighing.

"Sorry Gilbert. I'll give it back." Roderich said starting to move his hands to the back of his neck to take the jewelry off.

Gilbert took his wrists before he could move them further.

"That's okay Roddy, I don't mind. Just don't break it." He said with a toothy grin.

Roderich blinked and smiled slightly.

"I could never, it's not mine. It would be ungentlemanly to do such a thing." Roderich said making Gilbert groan.

"Oh Roddy quit it with the gentleman stuff." Gilbert groaned before he chuckled which apparently made Roderich chuckle lightly as well.

A moment of comfortable silence passed between the two before Gilbert broke the silence.

"So you gonna tell me what's wrong Roddy, because it's obvious something's bothering you." he asked again taking Roderich small smile away.

The brunette looked down at his torso and gently felt around his sides to feel his ribs. Feeling his bones made him cringe slightly.  
He sighed.

"Fine. I feel…I feel…my body is…disgusting Gilbert." He mumbled loud enough for the albino to hear.

Gilbert raised a brow.

"I…feel so disgusting and…ugly because of how I've treated myself." He said obviously upset.

Gilbert felt his brow furrow in sympathy for Roderich. Gilbert had not seen Roderich's body yet what with the bulimia but he had to guess that if Roderich was feeling like this about himself, it had to have been an awful thing to look at. At least for Roderich and shallow people and Gilbert wasn't shallow. He however knew Roderich wouldn't think of himself differently with simple words so Gilbert thought of the next best thing: sweet touches and simple words.  
With that thought, his hand extended again to stroke Roderich's cheek and hair.

"I wouldn't be kissing you so hard if I thought you were a disgusting piece of shit." Gilbert said with a toothy grin.

Roderich gave him an incredulous look crossed with a glare at the attempted reassurance but otherwise didn't reject the attempt.

"Whatever you say." He said looking away still feeling Gilbert rub his cheek and stroke the side of his head, his fingers going in and between his soft locks of chocolate brown hair.  
Gilbert just played with Roderich's hair for a few moments before he leaned up and took his face in his hands and kissed him again, Roderich again making no objection. Gilbert then lay back down and repositioned Roderich to lie next to him. The two broke apart again and Gilbert reached over to turn the light off and pull the covers up to keep both of them warm for the night. They both locked eyes for a brief moment before Roderich snuggled up to Gilbert and propped his chin up to kiss Gilbert's chin gently while Gilbert smiled and continued to stroke his hair. Roderich then took off his glasses and gave them to Gilbert to set on the night stand.

After few more moments of comfortable peace, Roderich was asleep while Gilbert remained awake thinking about his day so far and what he said at Fritz's grave. The albino lay there for what seemed like the longest time thinking about what he promised earlier while stroking Roderich's hair. Gilbert wasn't going to think twice about it at all, he was dead set on it now.

He wanted to help his Austrian boyfriend in any way like he did for him even when they weren't together so more ways than one, Gilbert owed Roderich for all his support in the worst times especially after Fritz died.

That wasn't the only reason though, Gilbert just hated with all his soul to know Roderich was like this, knowing Roderich's body was practically refusing any nutrients or letting him think or do anything clearly without feeling sick, panicked, or depressed.

Gilbert knew he loved the man sleeping in his arms with all his heart and it only made sense to help the person you love in a time of need.  
Gilbert supposed that was what Roderich maybe could have felt when he needed him most. Even if he didn't at the time, it still warmed Gilbert to know Roderich gave a damn about him as a friend.

And that's exactly what Gilbert would be for Roderich:

A friend and an awesome as hell boyfriend.

His now new plan made him grin widely.

"_I am after all the very face of awesomeness so I have to be awesome as ever with Roderich's health!" _Gilbert thought before he yawned.

"_Right now, the face of awesomeness must go to bed." _Gilbert thought before he starts to slowly drift off with his Austrian love in his arms.

* * *

_**I do believe this is the longest Chapter I've written so far so…if you like long chapters, here you go ._.**_

_**Also, I just love a cuddly and fluffy Gilbert and Roderich in case you haven't noticed X3**_

_**Now that this is done, I'm gonna go to bed and do some damn school work I've been holding off to write this for you guys because I love ya so much**_

_**Read and Review and enjoy~!**_

_**~Sunny**_


	7. Birthday Waltz

Chapter 7: Birthday Waltz

**Sup!**

**Here's chapter 7~!**

**I think I'll shorten the chapters some if you guys want it because I've been making them longer and longer each chapter and I don't really know if you guys are fans of long chapters :/**

**I don't own Hetalia or the characters.  
Trust me, if I did, it would be for anyone over 18.**

**Warning for slight talk of health problems, mild cursing (that's new), and alcohol consumption from a certain Prussian.**

**Quick Sum So Far: **The day after Gilbert's surprise return, the Prussian and Roderich took the day to spend with each other and for Gilbert to unexpectentley catch up with his friends and his brother. Gilbert still finds time for his favorite Austrian and for another friend that Gilbert had to tell of his feat along with a semi-hidden message to Roderich before they go home where Gilbert proceeds to relish in the company of his friends and German beer. Once the day is done, it is just Roderich and Gilbert as Roderich plays on his piano with a tipsy Gilbert watching and listening. Once Roderich finishes, he takes the inebriated Prussian to bed as well as himself. One thing leads to another not moments later, creating an intimacy they both longed for, for 2 ½ years yet at the same time, Roderich refusing to go deeper into the moment from his sudden insecurity. In turn, the Prussian gives him the space he wants.

* * *

Roderich had always been a late riser unless it was for work. Even then, the Austrian always found himself waking up minutes before he had to go to work as an accountant and even if he hated his job, he couldn't quit it whether it be an annoying work environment (to him anyway) or the hours he works which generally span from 9 AM to 4:30 PM or 8 AM to 4 PM. On days when he didn't need to work, he would wake around noon or later depending on how tired he was the night before. Gilbert, unlike his energetic and teenager-like behavior that he seemed to never grow out of along with the fact that he was more of a night person, the Prussian almost always woke before the Austrian on any given day save a few days when he'd work himself exhausted or in a sort of depression he'd rarely find himself into.  
This particular day seemed normal; Roderich waking up to Gilbert already awake and moving and Gilbert waiting for Roderich downstairs to get fully up out of bed so as to serve him his lunch (or brunch considering it was 12:10 in the afternoon and lunch generally started at 2 PM). The impatient self proclaimed Prussian waited with a small breakfast-like meal consisting of a heated breakfast pie, an orange, and a glass of Earl Grey tea Gilbert knew Roderich liked to drink in the mornings while Gilbert settled with a hot pocket and TV.

Roderich meanwhile sat up and yawned, taking his glasses from the night stand and stretching his limbs. The still tired Austrian lulled his head around to Gilbert's side of the bed to see he again wasn't there and probably waiting downstairs for his own odd reason. Getting the weak urge to check, Roderich flipped the warm sheets off his body and swung his legs onto the floor to stand up and walk over to the door and out into the hall to go downstairs. Once he did, Roderich peeked into the living room. As he predicted, Gilbert was sitting idly in the living room watching television. Roderich noticed the plate of food on the coffee table along with the steaming teacup next to it.

"_Now that I think about it, I did smell a hint of Earl Grey when I came down here." _Roderich thought remembering the indistinguishable smell of his usual morning tea.

When Roderich entered the living room, Gilbert noticed him immediately and goofily grinned at the Austrian.

"About time Roddy! I thought I was gonna have to go up there and dump a pot of water on your face to wake you up." The albino said making Roderich huff.

"If you did, I would have come at you with my riding crop and even make sure I left a bruise or two." Roderich warned sitting next to Gilbert who had his hands up in a sort of surrender.

"Just sayin', you took so freaking long to get up, I was beginning to think you must've died in your sleep." Gilbert said with a snicker.  
Roderich slapped his shoulder.

"Gilbert, people don't just die in their sleep and it would take more than that to kill me. You make it sound as if you want me dead." Roderich said in a saddened tone which he only used to send Gilbert on a small guilt trip when he would sarcastically say things like what he just said.  
Of course it worked like a charm.

"I didn't actually mean that Roddy, it was just a figure of speech!" Gilbert exclaimed in defense while Roderich felt he could chuckle at the small guilt trip he could easily send his boyfriend in.  
Of course he was kidding but Gilbert always makes Roderich feel smaller so when Roderich does this to Gilbert, the Austrian likes to imagine he's giving Gilbert a taste of his own medicine. Again though, it was all in good fun and supposed to mean no harm.

"But you made it sound like you wanted it." Roderich went on with a fake sad pout towards the sputtering Prussian.

"I never actually mean it Roddy, I'm just kidding!" Gilbert went on with his voice raised an octave or two.

"Promise?" Roderich asked facing his boyfriend with an expression of hurt.  
Gilbert softened.

"I promise. I would never wish for you to die, that's so un-awesome of me." Gilbert said firm and serious.  
Roderich blinked and smiled.

"I'm glad you think that way." He said.

Roderich's attention then turned to the food and tea on the coffee table.

"You know we eat in the kitchen Gilbert." Roderich reminded changing the subject.  
Gilbert looked over at the plate of pie along with the orange.

"Oh yea! Roddy, there's your breakfast. Or lunch, whichever." Gilbert told him.

Roderich raised a brow.

"This is mine?" he asked looking at the pie.

"Yea it is. Since you have that impossible diet of yours, I just made you a pie." Gilbert explained.

Roderich blinked again at the fact that the pie was his. Gilbert watched him with his crimson gaze as Roderich debated whether or not he should eat it. Part of him was saying he should because it did look appetizing but another part said don't bother and that it might make him sick again. Roderich decided on the second thought and was going to attempt to tell Gilbert it was a nice thought but he didn't want any pie. That is until his stomach told him otherwise what with its hungry and horribly obvious growl. Roderich blushed as Gilbert snickered.

"Well looks like you needed it anyway Roddy." He boasted before handing Roderich a fork.

"Eat up!" Gilbert commanded with a toothy grin Roderich again wanted to slap off the Prussian's face.

Roderich felt his brows furrow in irritation but took the fork either way, eyeing the pie in front of him. Roderich had a few thoughts going through his mind. Sure he was hungry and the little breakfast pie did seem appetizing at the moment and of course the fate of those poor pastries Feliciano brought from yesterday, but Roderich still felt that little sting of nervousness poke and prod at his mind that screamed in a small voice 'You'll get sick again!'. Though now as Roderich properly looked at the breakfast pie, it didn't look all too big, like around the size of one of his slightly larger teacups.

"_Since when did I have small pies?"_ the Austrian thought with a raised brow.  
He didn't know until now that pies could be made that little.

Save the size of the pie, Roderich ignored that little voice in the back of his head and cut the small pie into four individual pieces and pierced the first one and brought it up to his lips. Gilbert watched the Austrian like he was the most entertaining thing in the world. It honestly made Roderich annoyed.

"Unless you developed a fetish watching other people eat, I suggest you turn your obviously undivided attention somewhere else. Even then, stop watching me like that." Roderich requested in annoyance.

Gilbert snickered and sat more straight and further away from Roderich.

"Stingy as always. Whatever just eat the damn thing already!" Gilbert demanded excitedly, Roderich scoffing and huffing.

"Alright! Don't look so excited Gilbert."

With that rather annoyed remark, Roderich ate the piece whole, chewing it slowly and swallowing it. The Austrian thought it was rather good. Gilbert just grinned wider.

Un-furrowing his irritated brows and relaxing, Roderich took another piece and ate it politely since he was in another person's presence, even if it was Gilbert's uncaring and boisterous presence. Either way, it was only polite to eat like a gentleman in Roderich's book.  
After that, Roderich half purposefully half forced himself to eat the rest of the small breakfast pie while drinking the tea to wash it down because he knew Gilbert wouldn't shut up about him not eating all of it so Roderich just made up the little façade that he was just eating the rest to save himself the headache.

"Alright, I ate my brunch, now will you stop pushing me so hard to eat?" Roderich asked wiping the corners of his mouth with a napkin.

Instead of a verbal answer, Roderich was met with an orange ball shoved in his face.

"You didn't finish it all." Gilbert said simply.  
Roderich sighed and gently pushed the orange away.

"I think I did idiot." Roderich retorted.

"The awesome me says you didn't."

"Not all of your so called 'awesome' gets your way Gilbert."

"Yes it does like right now. Awesome Gilbert 1, Roddy 0. Your punishment, eating this orange." Gilbert said with a smirk before a little flittering ball of yellow fluff landed on his shoulder.

Gilbert and Roderich looked over at Gilbird, Roderich wondering how he got out of his cage and Gilbert smiling widely with obvious happiness.

"Hey Gilbird! Sorry I've been gone so long, the men wearing badges been keeping me locked up." Gilbert spoke to the little bird with the said creature chirping in response.

"A question Gilbird, do you think Roderich should listen to my reigning awesomeness and eat the orange?" Gilbert asked.

Gilbird again chirped in an upbeat tone as a signal of agreeing.

Roderich sighed. Sometimes he thought Gilbert only talked to the damn bird as an excuse to have genuine and un-denying support in one of his and Roderich's petty arguments like now. Then again, that bird had a mind of its own and it pretty much had a psychic connection with Gilbert's brain so Roderich really had no room to really argue with the bird and try to get him on his side for once.

"See? Even Gilbird agrees you should eat this orange as punishment for going against my awesome." Gilbert snickered while his index finger was petting Gilbird's head and Gilbird was nuzzling Gilbert's neck in return for the affection.

The Austrian in question sighed again and rubbed his temples with the fact that Gilbert kept pushing him to eat an orange. An orange for God sakes! Honestly, Roderich thought Gilbert couldn't be any stupider looking than now. Actually it was more comical but you get the point. With a small glare at the smug looking Prussian, Roderich snatched the already peeled orange from his pale and still bandaged hands and broke it in half to hand one of the halves to Gilbert.

"If I'm eating anymore, you eat it with me." Roderich demanded.  
Gilbert stared at the orange half and gave Roderich a 'Seriously Roderich?' look but took it otherwise.

"Fine. I'm still feeling hungry anyway." Gilbert retorted with a smirk and taking a piece of his orange half and throwing it in his mouth.

"Good." Roderich said with a curt nod and eating one of his pieces.

Gilbert wasn't finished yet though. The albino struck a thought upon himself to surprise Roderich again for the morning by embarrassing him a bit. Smirking devilishly, Gilbert slowly devoured the orange pieces while Roderich, like the gentleman he was, ate slowly. Gilbert waited for the next orange piece to come and when it did, the albino snatched it out of Roderich's petite pianist hand making the brunette exclaim.

"Gilbert! What was that for?" he demanded irritably while Gilbert was smirking.

"You want it back Roddy? Be honest." Gilbert asked with a slight purr in his voice.

Roderich was silent for a moment to think.

"It's impolite to not finish your food Gilbert, so yes I do." He spoke in a huff.

Gilbert sighed but otherwise kept his grin in place.

"Horrible excuse but whatever. If you want it back Roddy," he placed the orange piece between his teeth gently. Gilbird fluttered away to do other Gilbird-y things.

"Come and get it."

Roderich blushed madly.

"W-What!? Gilbert!" the Austrian exclaimed.

Gilbert only smirked and scooted closer with Roderich scooting backwards.

"Gilbert stop it!" Roderich demanded with Gilbert almost on top of him.

"If you want it back, you know what you have to do~" Gilbert managed to say, snickering lightly at how red Roderich's face was.

Roderich knew what game Gilbert was playing, he'd done it before but the brunette guessed that since its been a while since Gilbert's done something like this, he'd been 'out of practice' he thought. With his pride however, Roderich wouldn't let Gilbert in this little game so easily. With a sigh, he wrapped his arms around Gilbert's neck to pull the albino down an envelope the orange piece along with Gilbert's mouth. It honestly surprised the albino because he thought Roderich wouldn't go this far. He didn't hate it though, not by a long shot. The Prussian then felt something prod at his lower lip and in the meantime try to take the orange piece from his grasp. He however wouldn't go down so easy. With a mental smirk, Gilbert's own tongue fought with Roderich's to take that fruit piece back. The Austrian under him retorted the action by attempting to go after the piece again causing the two to fight tongue over tongue to take possession of the fruit. Gilbert watched however the beautiful brunette beneath him closely to see his slightly determined face fade away and his pale face soften and his violet eyes close. Gilbert also felt Roderich tongue give up fighting his own leaving Gilbert to take the orange piece for himself and swallow it whole. Roderich forgot he was fighting for a simple orange piece and just focused in what he and Gilbert were pretty much doing to savor it. He pulled Gilbert closer and he felt two arms wrap around his torso and Gilbert start to kiss back. The action in itself made warmth flood Roderich's cheeks. The Prussian on top of him closed his eyes to savor the moment as well. In the midst of sweet and slightly sloppy kissing, Roderich couldn't help but let a small moan escape his throat. Gilbert couldn't help but smile slightly in victory and bliss.  
Eventually however the call of air called at them both, causing them to break from their kiss to take in large breaths of air. Arms still around each other, both men just looked at their companions for a brief moment. Of course Gilbert ruined it with a smirk.

"I win." He purred in Roderich's ear.

Roderich's mind was in a haze from the wondrous kissing but otherwise got what he said.

"W-Wha-?" he breathed out in confusion.

It took him a moment what the smug Prussian was saying and when he got it, he sighed in annoyance.

"Way to ruin it." He mumbled making Gilbert snicker and kiss his forehead.

"Don't worry, I got more than an orange after all~" he purred breathing a warm breath across Roderich's neck making the Austrian shudder.

"S-Shut up idiot." Roderich breathed out in what was supposed to be irritation when it wasn't.

Gilbert just sat up and grinned down at Roderich. The albino then kissed his Austrian's cheek and nuzzled his fluffy white head into his neck.

"You're still cute even when you're irritated." Gilbert said with a chuckle making Roderich blush but otherwise smile slightly at the gesture.

"Idiot." He mumbled snuggling closer to Gilbert.

He thought he could change into his day clothes later. He was too comfortable.

* * *

Throughout the week after that, Roderich's diet was taking a turn for good. The Austrian was eating more and started gaining weight. Gilbert just hung around the house with him, occasionally going out here and there and making sure Roderich was eating and keeping it down. With Roderich's little anxiety problem however, Gilbert literally did whatever crossed his mind to keep Roderich calm when the Austrian had a few sudden panic attacks in the middle of the night or after a nap. It wasn't constant but it was present either way. Gilbert found himself contacting Ludwig during those times to get his advice on the matter, though Gilbert would just hide the fact he wanted his brother's advice by saying he just wanted his word on the matter. Luckily Ludwig gave him what was needed on the said matter. Now Gilbert was just trying to keep Roderich from having any nightmares, even if it meant napping with him when the Austrian felt the need. Not that he minded but Gilbert only hated the fact that it was to keep his boyfriend from having panic attacks. He thought he should just nap with his boyfriend without fear of a panic attack. The albino just hoped it wasn't permanent.

Roderich sensed this and he felt bad about it. Yes the help was needed and appreciated very greatly but Roderich knew Gilbert didn't want to sleep or nap with him for the sake of his health or sanity, however you put it.

"Gilbert, you don't need to sleep with me if you don't want too." Roderich told Gilbert one mid afternoon when he was about to take another needed nap after a full morning of running around town for errands.

Gilbert raised a brow.

"What? Why not?" he asked sitting on the edge of the bed.

Roderich smiled slightly at Gilbert, locking eyes with the Prussian's own crimson ones.

"If you don't want to lay down with me, that's okay." He repeated.

Gilbert just blinked at him.

"I don't see why I wouldn't want too." He said making Roderich sigh.

"I know you're uncomfortable sleeping with me because of my panic attacks. If you don't want to lay down with me for these stupid nightmares of mine, I understand." He spoke.  
Gilbert was surprised.

"Why are you asking about that?" he asked scooting closer to him.

"I know you're sleeping with me a lot because of my nightmares so as to keep me from having panic attacks. I also know you don't want too." He spoke a bit sadly.

He felt the sudden but gentle action of Gilbert's arms wrapping around him in a hug. Roderich, slightly surprised by the affection, returned the hug.

"Just because I don't like napping with you for your attacks, doesn't mean I don't want to nap with you. Of course I want too Roddy, just for different reasons entirely." Gilbert said looking down at Roderich with a reassuring smile.

Roderich blinked up at him and smiled a bit as well. His hug tightened slightly and he yawned. Gilbert chuckled and lay down with him.

It was just a moment of weakness but Roderich wanted to know if Gilbert was going to take his words to mind. He got his answer and it made him feel content. It didn't stop the Austrian from feeling a little guilty that Gilbert had to keep watch over him to make sure he doesn't have a panic attack, or have a relapse, though Roderich doubted that he'd have a relapse anytime soon.

Then the eve of his birthday came and Gilbert had invited Ludwig and Feliciano over. Roderich had left the house for a bit mainly to go food shopping but also to enjoy himself a bit since his birthday was a day away.

Meanwhile Gilbert got an idea to try and find himself another job since it was most likely he was fired from his original job when he got arrested. Roderich couldn't be the only one to get money in the house after all. Right now, he just wanted to talk with his brother about a few things.

"So how are you and Roderich?" Ludwig asked while Gilbert took a swig of the beer he bought that morning.

"We're not too bad. Roddy's getting better." Gilbert answered.

"So he's eating well and sleeping?" Ludwig asked taking his own can of beer.

Gilbert nodded.

"Yep. Gaining a good amount of weight like everybody wanted and sleeping just fine." He spoke remembering the still occurring nightmares Roderich was having.

Ludwig made a humming sound before Feliciano skipped into the room and plopped next to Ludwig happily.

"So does this mean I'll be able to bring hi some pasta?" the happy Italian asked quickly with the two Germans looking at him. Gilbert and Ludwig nodded.

"I don't see why not Feli but hold off on it until he says you can." Ludwig told Feliciano, a whine as a response.

"But pasta makes everyone feel better so I bet it'll make Roderich feel better too!" he exclaimed happily.

Gilbert chuckled.

"It might Feli." He said to the Italian feeling like he was talking to a child suddenly.

That always happened when he talked to Feliciano.

After that, Feliciano continued babbling mainly to himself about pasta and pasta side-dishes just out the pleasure of talking about the certain cuisine while Gilbert faced his younger brother with sudden determination.

"I want to get Roderich something for his birthday tomorrow." The albino said bluntly.  
Ludwig raised a brow.

"I can understand that, but why are you asking me?" the German asked.

"Cause I have no money and I can't just ask Roderich for money, he'd be suspicious. Plus I don't know what the hell to get him." Gilbert told Ludwig.  
Ludwig just blinked at his older brother for his sudden determination but understood nonetheless; he'd do the same for Feli after all.

"Ahh, well, that depends on what you'd want to get him. Anything in particular?"

Gilbert thought for a moment.

"Nothing really is striking his interest so that's why I'm at a freaking crossroads. Damn why did he have to be so hard to give too?" Gilbert spoke with a groan.

Suddenly Feliciano perked up at him with his permanent grin.

"Give him a siesta Gilbert! Everybody loves siestas so give him a siesta for his birthday!" the bubbly Italian exclaimed waving his arms.

The Prussian blinked at him before Ludwig shrugged and spoke up.

"That's an idea. Not all birthdays are about gifts after all so." Ludwig said.

The albino thought for a moment and thought the idea didn't sound too bad, and Gilbert knew exactly what to do once he thought about it thoroughly. He grinned and took another large swig of his beer.

"Nope that's not a bad idea and it's less cost worthy. Hot damn Feli you're a freaking genius!" Gilbert exclaimed.

Said Italian made a loud happy exclaiming noise and grinned while that curl on the side of his head seemed to move on its own in the same type of excitement. Ludwig just sighed at all the emitting excitement but smiled small any other way. It was after all nice to see his brother so happy when he took advice though he'd never admit he was asking for advice anyway but Gilbert was his older brother. Siblings know better.

"Well. We're glad to help." Ludwig said.  
Gilbert made a 'pfft' sound and waved his hand.

"I would have figured it out anyway, I just wanted an opinion." Gilbert said with a lop-sided grin.  
Ludwig sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.  
All three turned to the front of the house when the front doors opened and closed gently signaling someone had entered. Roderich entered the house with a few plastic bags on his arms and looking at the two Germans and Italian in his living room in confusion.

"Gilbert you never said we'd have company." The Austrian said with a raised brow, setting the bags down.

Gilbert stood up and went over to Roderich with a smirk before he took the smaller man by his cheeks and kissed him square on the mouth making Roderich blush. Once he broke apart, the albino just smiled at him.

"I asked them to come over." He said in a happy tone.

"Well, actually we were going to leave anyway." Ludwig spoke up, receiving a noise of confusion from a certain Italian.

Roderich and Gilbert looked at him.

"You don't have too." Roderich said with Ludwig waving him off gently.

"Nein, we must be going any other way." Ludwig insisted walking forward with Feliciano following with the same raised brow as Roderich.

Gilbert seemed to take Ludwig's hidden message though and the two eyed each other before Ludwig and Feliciano opened the doors.

"Well, goodbye for now. And Happy Birthday Roderich." Ludwig said with a smile/

"Happy Birthday Roderich~!" Feliciano exclaimed more happily before the two took their leave.

Though Roderich was flattered by the Happy Birthdays, he was still confused at Ludwig's sudden leave.

"What was that for?" The Austrian asked the Prussian holding him by the waist.

Said Prussian just shot him a trademark grin and kissed his cheek.

"Maybe something came up." He said airily picking up a couple of the bags Roderich carried in.  
Roderich was more confused by the tone of voice Gilbert used as he carried the plastic grocery bags in the kitchen. He decided to ignore it for now to see if it would escalate some.

"Alright then, and Gilbert can you please wash out your mouth? That alcohol on your breath is revolting." Roderich asked taking a few bags himself.

"Nope, it'll only be washed down with more beer Roddy!" the albino yelled from the kitchen with his 'Kesese' laugh obvious to anyone's ears.

Roderich sighed in irritation and just continued carrying the rest of the bags in the kitchen.

The next day was Roderich's 26th birthday with October coming close for its yearly end. The Austrian woke up late like it was his job, mainly because Gilbert pretty much insisted the brunette to sleep in. Though Roderich had absolutely no problem with sleeping in, he was still confused on why Gilbert pretty much commanded him into sleeping in. When the brunette woke, he felt like he had been struck by the Sandman since he really didn't want to get out of bed even when he was fully awake. The bed just felt too soft and warm to leave. However a small glance at his clock told him otherwise. Violet eyes scanned the said clock to see it was almost two P.M. Roderich groaned in annoyance but knew he couldn't lay around all day so with a still sleepy yawn, he swung his thin legs over the edge of the bed and stood up with a stretch. With a few pops here and there, the Austrian sighed. He knew Gilbert was awake and most likely downstairs so that's where he brunette headed first.

"Gilbert?" he called tiredly coming downstairs.

He then smelled something fowl like food burning. It made him groan slightly in disgust.

"Gilbert are you cooking?" Roderich called somewhat irritably receiving no answer from a certain albino.

He huffed and went to the kitchen with crossed arms expecting Gilbert to be there.  
"Gilbert, answer me no-"the Austrian was stopped when he realized he was alone in the kitchen.

Raising a brow, Roderich jogged to the living room and the lounge area to find the albino but eventually coming back to the kitchen with a sigh.

"Where is that idiot?" he mumbled with a surprise chirping sound answering him.

The source of the chirping fluttered out of its hiding place towards Roderich.

"Gilbird? What are you doing here?" Roderich asked remembering he was talking to a freaking bird.  
Again that little bird had a mind of its own so Roderich really couldn't hate himself over it. But then again, Gilbird might know the whereabouts of his master.

"You don't happen to know where Gilbert is, do you." Roderich asked the creature.

He chirped in response and flew over to the counter to land on a small note with writing on it. Roderich approached the counter and noticed a few pans in the sink and what looked like a horrible attempt to make pancakes with the gooey and small splotches on the stove and the counter next to it. Roderich already knew who made the mess though and how he'd have to clean it. With a sigh, he took the note under Gilbird and read it.

* * *

_Morning/afternoon Roddy~_

_Listen up._

_I want you out of the house until at least 6:30 tonight._

_If you're wondering where my awesomeness has gone, here's the reason in a nutshell:_

_I'm busy and I have to do some stuff but I'll be back before you._

_In the meantime, do what you want, just don't be on the property. Do stuff like_

_Umm_

_Just go ahead and do whatever you want today like buy a cake for yourself or whatever it is you do to have a good day._

_Oh and by the way,_

_I'm a shitty cook._

_I tried making you pancakes but they burnt so sorry Roddy and don't worry,_

_The awesome me will clean up the mess when I get home!_

_No go on and have an awesome day, just not here until 6:30 or 7, whichever you like._

_-The AWESOME Gilbert_

* * *

Roderich raised a brow at the strange request. Why did Gilbert want him to leave for the rest of the day? Roderich thought for a moment about the request and thought it didn't sound too bad. A day to pamper himself was always a good day and it was his birthday so he pretty much had the privilege of doing whatever he wanted. With a shrug and a final look at his dirtied kitchen, Roderich left the room to go to his own bedroom to change for the day, confusion weighing heavily on him wondering what in God's name the Prussian was planning.

Once he was dressed, Roderich took his wallet and navy blue over coat and headed out the door with Gilbird following him surprisingly. The Austrian saw it was a nice day to walk to town so he left his car keys in his home and started the walk to town, thinking of all the things he wanted to do today. The thought of Gilbert however kept a stain in his mind. He just hoped the Prussian didn't destroy anything in the process.

Roderich was almost home around 6:45, 3 differently colored bags in his hands that were filled with the proceeds of what he did for the day. In all honesty, Roderich was in a good mood. He had a nice lunch, he bought a few more pieces for his piano, and the kind old lady at the bakery gave him a discount on his favorite chocolate cake along with a free bag of Austrian candy because it was his birthday. It didn't stop him from wondering what his Prussian boyfriend had waiting for him. He just hoped it wasn't anything bad.

Once Roderich went past the Iron Gate he saw there were no lights on in his house. Deeming it strange because Gilbert was one to always leave lights on, Roderich entered the quiet house.

"Gilbert?" he called in a hushed tone.  
No answer. Maybe he wasn't home.  
Roderich kept his guard up however when he went to the kitchen so as to put his cake and other items on the table for now. He turned the light on to be stunned and speechless. The whole room was without a single spot of dirt anywhere, the dishes were all cleaned and put away and the failed breakfast attempt that morning was gone. If it didn't surprise Roderich to know Gilbert kept his word about the kitchen, then the rather large vase of Edelweiss flowers on the counter did. Roderich just stifled a gasp at the lovely vase of his favorite flowers, slowly putting his bags down on the table and going up to it. Roderich saw a small card on one of the stems. The Austrian ever so gently took it off the stem to read it.

* * *

_Go to the piano room._

* * *

It read in familiar handwriting. Roderich blinked and slowly left the room to go to his piano room with the card still in his hand, taking another glance at the vase of Edelweiss flowers.  
The house was still dark but Roderich noticed the hallway to his piano room was lit up by the soft glow of candles on the shelves and small tables that seemed to get brighter the closer he got to the piano room.

"What are you planning Gilbert?" Roderich muttered to himself.

Once the brunette entered the room, he was surprised when Gilbert stood up from his piano bench with his permanent grin and holding an Edelweiss flower head in his hand. Roderich was astonished looking around his dimly lit piano room, candles lit in the candle holders Roderich preferred to have to make the room look classy enough for his tastes. It honestly looked beautiful to the Austrian's eyes.

"What's all this?" Roderich asked still looking around the room in awe and walking forward to Gilbert.

"Just a little something the awesome me thought up for you're birthday. This ain't it though." The albino said causing the brunette in front of him to face him.

"There's more too this?"

Gilbert nodded and suddenly by gently pulled Roderich close to his body before extending his hand out toward the CD player resting on top of the piano. Roderich finally blushed once he heard the music piece meant for the Waltz start to play while Gilbert put on hand on his hip and gently tangled his pale fingers in Roderich's hand. A surprised violet gaze locked with his crimson one and he smiled.

"Shall I have this dance?" Gilbert whispered in Roderich's ear causing the smaller brunette to gasp slightly.

Gilbert didn't receive a verbal answer. He knew it was a yes though since he felt Roderich's free hand gently grip his shoulder so as to take the right stance. Gilbert leaned back up and smiled warmly at Roderich before he started to sway to the music, Roderich following along with a blush still present on his face.

Gilbert and Roderich danced expertly to the music with a grace no one thought Gilbert possessed and how easily Roderich let himself be lead and play the role as the female so perfectly. They both seemed to fit so well in this slow and meaningful dance only saved for them and them alone.  
Roderich had a small pang of nostalgia dancing with the albino. Dancing with Gilbert again was almost alien but Roderich enjoyed it, enjoyed dancing with the man he knew cared for him and who he cared for more in the world. Roderich then smiled slightly and leaned his head in to rest on Gilbert's chest before closing his eyes and just melting in Gilbert's warmth and swaying with the music as the Prussian holding him, did as well. After a few seconds, the brunette felt a chin gently prop and rest on the top of his head. Roderich's smile grew and he tightened the hold of his hand in Gilbert's. He felt the other tighten his hold as well. Soon the two were just lost in the music, the sweet and slow dancing and each other. Nothing could make them happier.

"It's been too long since I've danced with you." Roderich whispered.

A smile tugged at Gilbert's lips.

"It has. I almost forgot what it felt like until now. God how I've so long wanted to do this with you." Gilbert whispered back hearing a small giggle from Roderich.

"That sounded poetic Gil." The Austrian said receiving a chuckle from Gilbert.

"Either way, its true." The albino said.

Roderich tilted his head up to lock eyes again with Gilbert, a loving crimson gaze looking back at him matching his own. Gilbert then stopped swaying to lean down and kiss the brunette. Said brunette gladly kissed back, his hand moving its place from Gilbert's shoulder to his cheek, savoring the feel of those pale lips he's longed to kiss for so long.

After a few more sweet and quiet uninterrupted moments, the music ended and the two broke apart, foreheads connecting with each other still keeping the comfortable silence passing by. Gilbert smiled lovingly at Roderich and kissed the Austrian's perky nose.

"Happy Birthday Little Master." He muttered making Roderich smile wider and kiss him again.

"Thank you." The brunette replied putting his arms around the albino's neck wanting so badly to say 'I love you' to the Prussian; his nervousness got the better of him.

Gilbert also wanted to say those 3 words to Roderich just as strongly, but he felt his actions were enough to say how much he did, Roderich returning the same gesture without question. For now, it was enough for them both.

A muffled growl from Roderich's stomach was what broke the silence. The Austrian blushed from embarrassment and glanced away while Gilbert snickered.

"Hungry Little Master?" he asked.

"U-Uhh just a bit. I brought home some cake if you want to share it with me." Roderich said still blushing.

Gilbert couldn't help but think it was cute.

"Sure why not? Lead the way Little Master~" Gilbert sang gesturing him to lead the way.  
Roderich felt Gilbert's arm sling around his shoulders as he started walking out of the piano room. He looked up to see the Prussian smiling at him while he walked. Roderich then blushed again when he thought about the Edelweiss flowers left for him.

"Thank you for the flowers Gilbert." He mumbled loudly enough for the albino to hear.

Gilbert couldn't help but grin.

"Hey it's your birthday, figured I'd give you something." Gilbert spoke missing the smile coming back to Roderich's lips.

"You already did idiot." Roderich said to himself entering the kitchen.

The brunette couldn't help but think this was one of the most wonderful birthdays he's had.

* * *

_**And there's Chapter 7~!**_

_**Am I boring you yet? If I am, then I'm sorry.**_

_**But don't worry! For the next few chapters leading up to the last ones, stuff's really gonna rev up and soon enough, you're beloved M rating will come in~**_

_**Stay tuned if you're still reading this cause shit's gonna kinda start going down in a bad way.**_

_**The next chapter's gonna be short as it can be cause I don't want to continue piling on the next few chapters.**_

_**Enjoy, read, and review this shit like it's your job! :D **_

_**~Sunny**_


	8. Bad Feelings

Chapter 8: Bad Feelings

**Here's Chapter 8~**

**I told you I'd post quickly.**

**Mainly because this was smaller…**

**That and I figured you'd want the next chapter quickly because you hate waiting.**

**No real warning really for this chapter**

**I don't own Hetalia or its characters, just this fanfiction.**

**Quick Sum So Far: **After a bit of pushing and nagging, Roderich starts eating correctly though at Gilbert's request and entertainment ensuing a moment of passion between the two in a fight for an orange piece. Afterwards, Roderich's progress is getting better at good enough paces with Gilbert back in the picture and helping. When Roderich's birthday approaches Gilbert wants to make it nice for the Austrian. Said Austrian is told to leave for a few hours for some odd reason by Gilbert. Confused, Roderich gives into Gilbert's request and leaves to come back to a darkened home, Edelweiss flowers, candle-lit piano room, and a smiling boyfriend obviously intending to do something. Gilbert's motive is revealed when he asks Roderich for a birthday dance which the surprised brunette accepts. With a slow and meaningful moment between the two, it really dawns on them both how much they've missed each other.

* * *

Gilbert had noticed something. Ever since he came back from the prison, his temper was larger and his patience and tolerance had grown thinner. It didn't show for the first week but the albino had noticed that certain things would irritate him more easily then they normally would.  
By now, things were almost normal for the Prussian. Roderich was getting better more as days went by, Francis and Antonio dropped by unannounced like they usually would, a somehow unending supply of beer, and Gilbert interacting with Roderich more so with hidden meanings and surprise hugs and kisses. To make it easier to understand, Roderich or Gilbert would get into a meaningless fight with the other (mostly Roderich) about small things that were easily pushed aside by them both and they'd return to their normal selves. That was just how the two interacted on a normal basis: Roderich was generally irritated at Gilbert, and Gilbert would always laugh at the Austrian or make some shit excuse for why he didn't pick up his clothes from the bathroom floor. Both stayed careful of really pushing the other (especially Gilbert with Roderich) and getting into a big fight which with they're luck, didn't happen often even before Gilbert went to prison.

Everything overall just didn't seem out of the ordinary.

Yet as days went by, Gilbert noticed how his temper, patience, and tolerance changed.

By now, it was late November and Thanksgiving went by with Roderich and Gilbert rejoicing with their friends at Ludwig's house. Honestly, Gilbert had never seen Elizabeta more surprised in her life but hey, she was happy to see the loud Prussian. Besides that point, Gilbert first noticed this when Roderich scolded him for not bothering to throw his dirty clothes in the hamper in their room. As usual, it escalated to Gilbert making another excuse that he was groggy and didn't really think to put his shirt in the hamper and Roderich responded with a scoff, a sigh and walking away. Gilbert huffed a bit as well but otherwise, would usually think of how stuffy Roderich is and then mentally stick his tongue out for a few simple minutes before shrugging it off and walking away.  
Usually.  
On one particular Thursday that happened and it started out as I've just described but…Gilbert felt more irritated than he should be at such a small unimportant subject and he continued to think about it for the next 30 minutes or so. The Prussian drew a red flag when the stupid subject continued to bother him. In fact, it downright annoyed him for a few hours even when he wasn't thinking about it. Once it finally passed, Gilbert just tried to keep his chin up and hope something like that didn't happen again.  
The next day wasn't so bad until Feliciano stopped by with a container of pasta in his hands. Roderich of course took the container gladly out of common courtesy and the fact that the Italian's pasta was pretty good. Gilbert followed him to the front door to be met by a usual happy Feliciano babbling on about how there apparently there was too much pasta leftover for Ludwig's taste (despite the fact he loved the dish) and how the German suggested the sweet and compassionate Italian should give the rest to Roderich, then about how there can be never too much pasta.  
Roderich of course tried to keep up with the fast-talking auburn-haired young man so as to mot pass off as rude to his friend while Gilbert was really starting to get annoyed at Feliciano. After about ten or so minutes, Feliciano left with a friendly wave goodbye to the two with Roderich smiling and waving back and Gilbert crossing his arms and not bothering to say anything. Once the front doors closed, Gilbert spoke up.

"Does he ever stop talking?" he said without the usual joking sense in his voice he always used after they talked with Feliciano.

Roderich raised a confused brow.

"Why are you asking that?" he asked catching the lack of joking in Gilbert's voice.

"I'm just saying. It's like his mouth is a damn train that never stops to slow down or stop period." The albino spoke.

"Why is this bothering you? You and I both know he pretty much can't stop that. In fact, we learned this, years ago." Roderich said suspicious.

The Prussian just looked at him blankly thinking about what he said. He was right. Why did it bother Gilbert so much? Over the years the albino knew Feliciano, he knew how much of a talker he was and had gotten used to that ongoing mouth the Italian possessed. He had even learned to keep up with Feli or otherwise he wouldn't understand anything the bouncy Italian said. Sure he was a little annoyed at Feliciano's trait when Ludwig introduced him but otherwise got used to it and thought nothing of it.

So if he was so used to Feliciano's fast talking, why was it bothering him now?

"Gilbert are you going to answer me?" Roderich asked waiting for a good answer.

This pulled Gilbert from his thoughts to look at Roderich. He tried to think of a good excuse but one didn't come. The albino didn't really want to share what he was feeling because his pride wouldn't let him. With a grunt, he walked past Roderich to go to their bedroom.  
Roderich's eyes widened slightly as he watched the Prussian go upstairs and shut the door to their bedroom. He blinked in confusion.

"_What was that?" _he thought going to put the container of pasta in the fridge.  
Gilbert lie face-down in a pillow grumbling and growling slightly to himself, his mind occupied by thoughts of the continually talking Italian his brother loved so much. Again, it also pissed him off as much when he tried to figure out why he was acting like this. After a minute of furious thinking, Gilbert sighed and continued to lay down with his face in a pillow and waiting for his irritation to dry up. He hopes his own boyfriend wouldn't question him later.

* * *

This continued for almost three weeks, gradually getting worse. Gilbert was almost always irritated or annoyed or just downright pissed off at most things that really didn't deserve it. He wouldn't break anything or yell, he would just silently hate whatever was making him so irritated. It didn't help that most of the time Roderich seemed to be the cause of his irritation if the stuffy Austrian would scold Gilbert for something like he would generally do. They were never horrible scolds they were just Roderich's way of trying to remind Gilbert that he also had to take care of his environment; nothing to fawn over. But for Gilbert, it was a more of a downer to him than usual. The albino had even started to lose his always happy always excited self, all grins turned to pouts or frowns and all joking gone. All Gilbert wanted to do was try to figure out his predicament.  
Right now, he sat inside the warmth of his home on the living room couch quiet as a dead man while the snow outside was lightly falling from the night sky. It was after all mid December now.

Gilbert had also noticed something else. Not too recently, thoughts and memories of the prison crossed his mind a lot of the time just out of the blue. Specifically, the fights he'd get involved in. A lot of the time, they would just cross his mind unannounced especially when he would get annoyed at something. Obviously he found that strange especially since they started when he started to change as far as emotions go. At least Gilbert wasn't stupid enough to not realize the two were connected in some way.

They had to be because it sure as hell wouldn't be the weather causing these changes about Gilbert at random.  
That was another theory Gilbert had about his changes and that maybe the cold weather was also involved in some way, but when he thought more about it, cold weather never downed his mood to this degree. In fact winter was one of his favorite times of year and generally the cold weather and the snow elated him rather than annoyed him so that theory was in the trash.  
All this was so infuriating to the Prussian but he couldn't just walk away from this and let it all just happen. He knew he had to figure this crap out.

From a certain Austrian's point of view, Gilbert's change didn't go unnoticed by Roderich. The brunette knew something was wrong with his boyfriend.  
The first things Roderich noticed were when he asked why their friend Feliciano was a chatterbox when in reality Gilbert would just joke about it. That was another thing. Over the course of two weeks, Roderich had noticed that Gilbert hasn't pulled some joke on Roderich like hide his sheet music or laugh at him and tease him playfully like he usually did. He also noticed that the loud Prussian started to refrain from talking (loudly mind you) so much recently. Gilbert looked like he preferred to be alone a lot of the time when he was almost always up Roderich's nose and begging for his attention in something.  
When Gilbert started to lose that stupid grin of his, it started to truly worry Roderich.

Honestly, Roderich began to worry earlier. He didn't like to see Gilbert like this. The only time Gilbert purposefully tried to distance himself was when Fritz died and even then, he would only come to Roderich for help. Now it seemed like he didn't even want Roderich's guidance on his predicament. Now generally, Roderich tried not to interfere with other people's problems unless they asked for his help but this was his best friend and boyfriend for God sakes, he knew he had to offer some help.

With those thoughts and worries swirling through the Austrian's head, he briskly walked into the living room and stood in front of Gilbert with his arms crossed, waiting for the silverette's attention. When he didn't get it the first time, Roderich called for him.

"Gilbert." He called in a low but loud enough voice.

That caused the Prussian to look up at him.

"Gilbert, what's wrong with you?" Roderich asked getting to the point.

The albino just blinked and sighed at him before standing up.

"I'm fine Roderich." He said simply trying to walk away.

For a split second, Roderich had to take in the fact that Gilbert had just used his full first name. He almost never did that. It was always Roddy, Little Master, or simply Liebe. It sort of hurt a bit. He regained his senses and saw Gilbert about to leave when he grabbed his wrist.

"Bitte Gilbert. Please tell me what's wrong." Roderich asked with a bit of pleading in his voice.

"Why do you want to know so much?" Gilbert asked without thinking and coming across as sort of hateful.

Roderich was taken aback at the tone of voice he heard from Gilbert's mouth. His violet eyes widened slightly and he blinked before furrowing his own thin brows in irritation.

"What do you mean 'why'? Because I care about you, idiot!" Roderich stated feeling more hurt.

Gilbert's own brows furrowed in annoyance. He didn't want Roderich interfering with his problem right now.

"Look Roderich, I told you I'm fine so stop worrying." Gilbert retorted wanting Roderich to just get off his back before they really started to fight and Gilbert wanted to avoid that.

Roderich blinked at him and huffed.

"You've been acting strange for almost three weeks Gilbert, its like something is upsetting you and I'd like to know if there's anything I can do to help." Roderich spoke determined and slightly angered at Gilbert already.

"Roderich I don't need any help." Gilbert insisted gritting his teeth slightly and pulling away from Roderich's grasp.

"I'm gonna go for a walk." Gilbert stated going for the coat rack.

"Don't you try to walk away from this Gilbert!" Roderich spoke loudly and angry.

He huffed after Gilbert.

"Gilbert, you are not fine. You've been acting different and it looks like something is bothering you. I do believe I can at least have some knowledge on this because I hate seeing you like that." Roderich huffed crossing his arms, furrowed brows and all.

Gilbert just eyed him irritably putting his coat on.

"I told you before nothing's wrong. Now drop it." Gilbert insisted annoyance now clear in his voice while he opened the door just slightly.

"I will not drop it! Dammit Gilbert you can't ignore these things!" Roderich snapped not bothering to excuse his language.

There was a sudden slam of the door that caused Roderich's eyes to widen and for him to step back a couple steps. Gilbert looked over at Roderich, anger clear in his crimson eyes when he took a few steps forward and Roderich took another step back.

"Drop it Roderich!" Gilbert snapped back making Roderich flinch and blink at him while his brows furrowed in hurt.

Gilbert realized what he did and backed away so as to try to assure Roderich he wouldn't hurt him.

"Roderich I-"

"Don't bother Gilbert, I get it." Roderich said putting a hand up, voice filled with anger and hurt.

The Austrian didn't look at Gilbert when he stormed upstairs to their room, sniffling a bit. He made sure to close the door with a slam. Gilbert stood there for a moment processing what just occurred before zipping his coat up and walking out of the house, closing the door behind him and walking away from the property.

While the little flurries of snow made their home on Gilbert in almost every place they could reach, the albino was trying to process what occurred at his house.  
He had snapped at Roderich. That was close to yelling at him which Gilbert would never do. Hell he even tried his damndest to keep his cool when the two were dangerously close to fighting and try to work it out, not yell at the Austrian or make him think you'll hurt him. To make matters worse, he didn't deserve it. Roderich just wanted to help Gilbert because he was worried. Now he was hurt and angry at Gilbert and possibly crying a bit since Gilbert snapped at him for no good reason. Sure Roderich had snapped at him as well but it was because he wouldn't allow Gilbert to ignore his problems. He was showing he cared about the albino enough to want to help him with whatever was on his mind. It was like he saw it as an objective of his life.  
This only made Gilbert feel even worse and guilty about the situation at hand. Those rational thoughts pushed his pride aside for a brief moment to admit this was his fault and that Roderich didn't need to have that. Now the Austrian was angry at him so apologizing was possibly out of the question. Gilbert's pride returned and told him to refrain from apologizing because it might make him seem weak and small when he was supposed to be strong. Gilbert still had no idea on what to do though. Whatever was wrong with him was getting worse as days went by and it was starting to show.

He felt helpless again.

Not only that, but he had no idea on what to do with it since it now involved Roderich which he tried to avoid. But Roderich was bound to ask about his behavior at some point like now.

Gilbert groaned loudly and kicked some snow away from the side walk at the feeling of anger and hopelessness. He looked at his watch and saw it was getting later as the night went by. He turned around and started for home knowing very well Roderich wouldn't let him sleep in their bedroom after that fiasco. Roderich was stubborn like that and Gilbert understood.

"God don't let this be something to fucking stay." Gilbert pleaded to himself, hoping his pleads were heard.

* * *

_**Told you it'd be short. **_

_**The next chapter will be short as well but this chapter was pretty much a plot chapter.**_

_**Hey it was needed.**_

_**Anyway, with that, I'll try to update these faster so you guys won't need to wait a long freaking time because of my laziness.**_

_**Oh and for those who don't know, **_

_**Bitte=Please in German**_

_**Liebe= Love in German**_

_**Have a nice day~**_

_**~Sunny**_


	9. Misdirected Anger

Chapter 9: Misdirected Anger

**Sup again~**

**Here's chapter 9, and shit's about to go down!**

**Warning for cursing, yelling, little albeit not minor violence**

**I don't own Hetalia of its characters**

**Quick Sum So Far: **Even with normality being restored in his life, Gilbert feels a change about him, and it's not good. Gilbert starts to notice he isn't as tolerant or as patient as he was before. His temper even increased. Of course Roderich worries since Gilbert has been acting strange because of it confronts him about it. Things turn slightly ugly when Gilbert yells at him to drop the subject. As expected, Roderich drops it and storms away. Gilbert leaves to go for a walk, feeling guilty at what he did.

* * *

Gilbert didn't apologize to Roderich when he came back home. He just went to the living room to sleep on the couch since he knew he wouldn't be able to go back to his room without an angry Roderich throwing him out to sleep on the couch. Gilbert thought it would save him that trouble after all. He then proceeded to shed his winter gear and go to bed, ignoring the angered and hurt Austrian upstairs.

Of course, Gilbert got practically no sleep that night due to his conscience fighting a battle of right and wrong in his head and the thoughts of what occurred earlier that night. As a result, he was annoyed and tired when morning approached. The albino decided to wake himself up with coffee while Gilbird flittered downstairs, awake and chirping to join him.

"Morning Gilbird." Gilbert greeted in a gruff voice turning the coffee maker on.

Said bird chirped at him after landing on the edge of the counter. Gilbert then sat at the table, sighing and rubbing his face waiting for his coffee to be done.  
Once it was, he wasted no time getting up and pouring a cup. He barely noticed Roderich enter the kitchen, eyes still heavy with sleep and dark brunette hair tussled in a messy fashion Gilbert generally found gorgeous of the Austrian. Now however wasn't the time to comment on the subject.

Roderich avoided eye contact with Gilbert when he went past him to get to the fridge. Gilbert didn't avoid him though when he went past him without a word and an aggravated look on his face. It was obvious he was still mad at Gilbert by the way he was quickly trying to get whatever he wanted to get and leave. Though Gilbert didn't want to say something, the words just tumbled out of his mouth.

"Morning Roderich." He greeted.

He didn't receive a response. Gilbert looked over at Roderich who closed the fridge hastily with an apple in his hand and fast walking away and out of the kitchen, still avoiding eye contact. Of course Gilbert would have none of it. He just grabbed Roderich's arm before he left the room. From the small wincing sound he received, he must have grabbed too hard. Roderich snapped his head towards Gilbert, anger and annoyance clear in his violet eyes. Gilbert could feel it getting worse the more he was in his presence.

"Look I get that you were mad last night-"  
"Oh now you get it!? Now you get why I am angry now Gilbert!?" Roderich snapped interrupting Gilbert and pulling his arm away.

It struck Gilbert speechless for a brief moment. Roderich continued.

"Yes I get it that you're not one to show what's wrong with you, but whatever you did last night went a tad too far Gilbert! I wasn't yelling at you or anything, I just wanted to know you've been acting so different and see if I could help! That was all! You didn't need to snap at me like that!" Roderich finished absolutely fuming at the albino.

Gilbert managed to get his voice back.

"I didn't mean to snap at you like that! God Roderich, why can't you learn to drop these things!?" Gilbert retorted with Roderich scoffing.

"See, you're doing it again!" the Austrian retorted before sighing and walking out of the kitchen.

Gilbert didn't stop him this time. He just watched Roderich storm away. In just a matter of seconds, the sound of an angry Chopin piece started going through the house. Gilbert sighed and grabbed his coffee before heading upstairs to change from his pajamas knowing it was best not to dig deeper in this fight. After all, if an angry Roderich wasn't bad enough, then it was an enraged Roderich after you interrupted him playing Chopin while already angry. At the moment, it was best to just let everything happen.

They hardly spoke a word to each other for the rest of the day. In fact, they both pretty much ignored each other with the exception of the glares shot by Roderich anytime Gilbert would enter a room or pass by him or Gilbert muttering a curse under his breath with each glare sent. It didn't help that Gilbert was too proud to apologize. Not at all. There was still that small little voice in the back of his head telling him he should apologize to Roderich but again, pride overcame reason. Gilbert again found himself aggravated as hell with the useless battle in his head and with Roderich enough that he again took another walk around dinner time for about a half an hour.

When bedtime rolled around, both men still ignored each other out of spite. By then though, Roderich had fallen asleep while Gilbert stayed awake again for a few more hours doing nothing but watch TV and sulk before going upstairs to get some sleep himself. Upon entering the bedroom, the first thing Gilbert saw was Roderich sleeping somewhat peacefully.

"_God knows he needed it." _Gilbert couldn't help but think looking upon his boyfriend's sleeping face.

The albino couldn't help but still think Roderich looked adorable even when they both were mad at each other. Silently Gilbert tip-toed to his side of the bed and got in. His nose was immediately hit with the familiar smell of vanilla when he lay down. Gilbert couldn't help but sniff the scent again, never getting enough of it. God if he and Roderich weren't fighting it would be more enjoyable.  
Gilbert stayed a good couple feet away from Roderich knowing if he snuggled up to him, he'd surely get a yelling Austrian in the morning. Before he could go to sleep though, his mind again was attacked in a battle of whether or not to say sorry.

"_Dammit, now's not the fucking time!" _he screamed in his head since, well, he couldn't really apologize to a sleeping Roderich.

Nevertheless, his thoughts still bothered him about it the more he stared at the back of the Austrian's head. After a few more minutes of mental debate, Gilbert sighed and edged closer to the brunette and proper himself up to properly kiss him on the cheek and then edging away.  
To Gilbert, that was a small enough apology to his boyfriend without hurting his pride and without Roderich knowing, in a sense. That or it was just a little unknown sign that the albino did indeed feel bad.  
After a minute of two, Gilbert managed to fall asleep. He was completely unaware of the already awake Roderich smiling slightly at the gesture before falling asleep for real.  
_"Honestly Gilbert, could you be louder?"_

* * *

_Gilbert knew he was dreaming. He remembered it being nighttime instead of daytime. He also remembered being inside his house and in his bedroom. It being daytime and him outside his house kind of made it obvious. Either way, the albino found it strange. With a few hesitant steps, Gilbert stepped forward to the front door and opened it. Only the sunlight from outside lit the rooms dimly since no lights were on. It was too silent. _

_And where was Roderich?_

"_Roderich?" Gilbert called closing the door behind him. _

_No answer._

"_Roderich?" Gilbert called again._

_This time he was met with shuffling feet in the lounge area. Gilbert saw the silhouette of someone coming out of the lounge area. For a brief second, Gilbert thought it was Roderich but the silhouette seemed bigger. Gilbert was silent when the silhouette came closer and closer until they came out of the lounge area entirely, their face turned away from Gilbert. The albino raised a brow, suspicious. _

"_Hey, who are you?" Gilbert demanded._

_They didn't answer verbally. Instead, they responded with turning their head. Gilbert froze when his crimson eyes met with a venomous and mocking blue. The man who held these eyes smirked purely to irritate Gilbert._

"_Just lookin' for that nice piece of ass you have. I hope you don't mind." Jerg spoke in sort of a hissed tone and with a dark chuckle before he started going upstairs. _

_Gilbert retorted from his shock and growled in anger before sprinting after him, pale hand out, wanting to beat the man into the ground._

"_YOU STAY AWAY FROM HIM!" Gilbert shouted reaching out to grab Jerg._

_Gilbert's touch however just seemed to be too far away from Jerg when it looked like he was just centimeters away. It only made Gilbert angrier as he watched Jerg ascend the stairs to Roderich's room. Seconds later, the large German man succeeded in entering the room. Gilbert wasted no time kicking the closed door down and running after Jerg in a rage, thinking that the man already had Roderich in his grasp. _

_As he predicted, he was facing Jerg's back when he entered the room. The albino wasted no time jumping the man and pummeling him to the ground before he began hitting the man in a blind rage. With his breathing heavily and the rage he found himself in, Gilbert barely caught the familiar cry echoing throughout the room._

"_G-GILBERT!" Roderich screamed._

_Something turned back on inside Gilbert when he heard his boyfriend's desperate and panicked voice._

_The red rage was gone. The punches stopped. Gilbert regained his senses._

_With regained senses, came with a horrifying realization._

_Jerg wasn't under him anymore, Roderich was and he looked positively in pain, shocked, and hurt._

_Gilbert was beyond shocked and guilt stricken. The albino frantically looked around to hopefully spot the man he had hoped to beat the shit out of but he was gone. The Prussian swore it was Jerg he grabbed. No, in fact he was sure it was. If it was, then why did the one person Gilbert wanted to protect take his place? What did this mean?_

"_G-Gilbert? Why…?" Roderich cried under Gilbert._

_The albino turned back to look at Roderich again. He was quick to try and comfort the brunette._

"_R-Roderich I-I didn't mean to I swear." The Prussian spoke frantically to the sobbing Austrian._

"_Y-You said…you said you'd never hurt me. You lied." Roderich cried, anger etching onto his features._

_Gilbert frantically shook his head again._

"_N-No Roderich, I never meant to hurt you! I never would! I was trying to protect you!" Gilbert hastily spoke hoping Roderich would understand._

_Instead, Roderich shook his head and propped himself up by the elbows._

"_No Gilbert. You lied to me. You swore you would protect me, that you'd never hurt me. Obviously, I shouldn't believe that." Roderich said with what sounded like hate in his voice._

_The tone he was using made Gilbert's heart drop._

"_No…Roderich, please forgive me. I-I thought you were…" Gilbert stuttered._

_Roderich sneered at him._

"_I don't care Gilbert. You broke your promise to me." Roderich said grimly before coming close to Gilbert's ear. _

"_I hate you Gilbert Beilschmidt." He whispered._

_Gilbert's heart sank and he felt it stop completely, his crimson eyes stung with tears. _

_Roderich said he hated him._

_Hated him._

_Gilbert loved Roderich with all his heart and here he was hearing his love say those dreadful words. The world around him started to go black while Roderich looked at Gilbert with a scornful look in his violet eyes._

"_No…" Gilbert mumbled._

_The room disappeared._

"_N-No…!"Gilbert spoke, his voice rising to a frantic level as Roderich started to disappear._

"_No! Roderich!" Gilbert reached out to try and catch Roderich before he faded._

_When Roderich faded, Gilbert was swallowed by the same darkness, dragging him down to oblivion._

* * *

"No!" Gilbert exclaimed shooting straight up as he awakened.

He was panting and the room was stifling hot. Gilbert turned his head to his right frantically to see his boyfriend sleeping soundly and comfortably. Seeing him relieved Gilbert a great deal. It didn't soothe him though about the dream he had.

What did it mean?

Gilbert shook his head and quickly got out of bed to get a drink of cold water due to his dry throat.

The dream kept replaying in his head.

"_I hate you Gilbert Beilschmidt."_

That one memory of the dream made Gilbert duck his head in his arms and sigh. He knew it was just some dream but it felt so real. He actually felt his own hands hitting Roderich's skin, thinking it was Jerg's skin. Speaking of which, why the hell was Jerg in his dream, especially since it involved Roderich. The thing that made Gilbert wonder was why the image of Jerg changed into the image of Roderich. Gilbert knew it was just some dream but he felt it meant something else. He didn't like that one bit. It made him slightly afraid actually. Not for himself, but for Roderich.

"It was just a dream, dammit. Stop fucking stressing over it." Gilbert growled to himself while the hand holding his glass cup tightened.

The thoughts of the dream continued to plague his head and his hand tightened more around the cup until he felt it break in his hand.

"Ah fuck!" Gilbert exclaimed letting the glass pieces fall from his hand and onto the bathroom counter.

Gilbert clutched his wrist with his good hand with a small fantasy that it would help the pain. Of course it didn't. To make matters worse, Gilbert must have been too loud when he yelled in pain when heard the creak of floor boards in the other room signaling its occupant was awakened. Gilbert paled slightly, not wanting Roderich here right now. With his luck though, Roderich knocked on the door.

"Gilbert what was that noise?" Roderich asked with sleep still apparent in his voice.

"N-Nothing! Just go back to sleep, I got it covered!" Gilbert yelled through to the door turning the tap on to wash the flowing blood from his hand.

Roderich wasn't convinced though. Gilbert sounded panicked. Not to mention the loud curse that woke him up. What was Gilbert doing?

"Gilbert did something break?" the tired brunette asked.

Meanwhile on the other side of the door, Gilbert was picking out the small pieces of glass that decided to take refuge in his hand, though it was failing.

"Y-Yea, don't worry I got it Roderich!" he yelled at the door.

Roderich crossed his arms.

"I'm coming in." Roderich called.

"No don't-!" Gilbert yelled until the door opened and he saw Roderich gasp at the bloody sight.

"Gilbert what happened!?" he exclaimed already digging through the cabinet for tweezers and bandages.

Roderich noticed the glass shards on his floor of what used to be a cup. The all looked like they had been broken by a crushing force.

"Gilbert what did you do?" Roderich asked, voice filled with worry as he sat next to Gilbert at the edge of the bathtub and gently taking Gilbert's left and injured hand.

Of course Gilbert tried to think of another excuse about the cup.

"I broke the cup and bent down to pick it up but slipped." Gilbert said wincing and yelping at the feeling of glass pieces being pulled out of his hand.

"Be more careful would you?" Roderich said with a sigh.

Once Roderich finished getting the glass pieces out of Gilbert's hand, he quickly bandaged it up. He stood up and looked at the glass mess on the floor.

"I'll get this cleaned later. It's after 6 and I'm still tired. You can join me if you want Gilbert." Roderich offered turning to Gilbert.

This caused Gilbert to hesitate some, remembering the dream again.

"No you go ahead. I'll clean this up." Gilbert spoke quickly getting up and walking right past Roderich to go downstairs.

As Roderich watched him hastily leave the bathroom, he couldn't help but feel suspicious about Gilbert. The brunette looked back at the small and gathered pile of glass on the floor. He saw how the glass pieces were gathered closely in one spot with a few pieces straying away when they all should have been spread apart in all directions. The said pieces were also broken more so in large chunks than small shards.  
It just felt too coincidental to be an accident. Roderich felt a pang of knowing there was something more to this. His thoughts were halted when Gilbert came rushing back to sweep up the glass.

"Roderich just go back to sleep I got this covered." Gilbert spoke taking the dustpan filled with glass and dumping it all in the trash can.

Roderich didn't talk back to Gilbert when he hesitantly took the albino's word into account and went back to his room. Gilbert didn't follow.

Afterwards, Gilbert kept to himself a majority of the day, the dream taking over his thoughts. His mind was filled with dozens of 'What the hell does it mean?'  
Though the more Gilbert thought about it, it seemed to be pointing to the fact that he hurt Roderich in the dream. It didn't make sense. Gilbert never in his life would ever desire to hurt Roderich in any way, shape, or form.

But again, if he didn't desire that, then why did he hurt Roderich in the dream?

The sudden thought of Jerg rolled into his thoughts and how the man was involved in his dream. Gilbert remembered how angry he was when Jerg made his little appearance in the dream. It was like in the prison. Anytime Jerg would push his buttons, Gilbert would go in a rage and try to show Jerg that he shouldn't push him too far. But Jerg's last insulting comment to him caused Gilbert to go into frenzy and nearly kill him because it involved Roderich and what Jerg threatened to do.  
But now Gilbert was away from Jerg and his rage inducing threats. Jerg no longer had the power of angering Gilbert to a rage.  
Well, physically anyway.

Gilbert continued to think on the dream until it focused on what Jerg was going to do. The more he thought about it, Gilbert found himself getting angrier. It wasn't just the simple aggravated anger he'd been experiencing for the past month, it was the familiar hot and boiling anger that gave Gilbert the urge to hit something. Gilbert hadn't had that feeling in a while so it came back with a vengeance. He had to hit something.

So he did.

The albino balled up his right hand and hit whatever was nearby which was the wall next to the front door. His punch had left a dent in the plaster and his knuckles were sore now. Gilbert however felt better, though he still remained just as aggravated as before, he didn't have the urge to hit something. One thing was for sure; Roderich would see the new dent and surely scold Gilbert for it. The albino didn't feel like getting more aggravated so he covered up the dent by moving the coat rack in front of it. It was a pathetic action so as not to get in trouble but Gilbert didn't want to get angry. He just didn't. Getting angry only made things worse than they already were and Gilbert sure as hell didn't want to make anything worse between him and Roderich. With that thought, Gilbert left the front door area.

A whole week had passed and things were getting worse. Gilbert had the same dream almost every time he went to sleep. With these dreams also came the anger Gilbert showed in them. The urge to hit something got stronger until Gilbert found himself sometimes kicking the Iron Gate outside just to satisfy the need. Gilbert found it was hard to attempt to talk to Roderich without the dream coming into his mind and either the words that Roderich said to him or Gilbert remembering he hit Roderich. With those thoughts came distancing. Gilbert didn't talk to Roderich without the dream coming back and either angering him or making him slightly paranoid to a degree.

To make things worse, he had a head cold.  
He just got it for some apparent reason and it wasn't making his day any better. Gilbert knew how to get rid of a head cold but didn't feel like sleeping anytime soon. Of course he didn't bother to tell Roderich about it. Gilbert just tried to make everything look normal while a headache started to make itself known to Gilbert. Paired with the lack of sleep, Gilbert's headache only furthered his annoyance. It didn't help that Roderich was cleaning the house.

Gilbert took some ibeprophan to try and soothe the headache but so far it was doing no good. The next option was to lie down on the couch and keep his arm over his eyes. When the Prussian laid down, Roderich came downstairs with a spray bottle of cleaning bleach and a wash cloth, intending to wipe down the counter tops and tables along with a few of the walls. He noticed Gilbert on the couch when he entered the living room lying on the couch with his arm over his eyes.

"Gilbert are you okay?" Roderich asked.

"Fine." The Prussian mumbled irritably.

Roderich sighed and decided to just leave him alone for the time being knowing very well Gilbert would stay like this for a while.  
After about 10 or so minutes with his piano free from any dust, Roderich went over to the front door to wipe it down as well. Once he finished the front double wooden doors, Roderich then concentrated on the walls next to them. Upon going over to the coat rack, Roderich noticed something out of the ordinary behind the coat rack besides the fact it was moved. Roderich raised a brow and set the items in his hands down to properly move the coat rack. What he was met with shocked him. A dent in the wall that sure as hell wasn't there before. The fact that the coat rack was moved in front of it made it obvious who did it. Roderich tried to keep up with Gilbert's new behavior but he would not stand Gilbert destroying anything. That crossed the line.

"Gilbert!" Roderich called angrily stomping into the living room with his hands on his hips.  
Gilbert sat up with a groan.

"What?" he asked irritably.

"Mind you start explaining to me why there is a dent in the wall next to the front door?" Roderich demanded.

Gilbert stood and looked over towards the front door to see the coat rack was moved. He sighed and rubbed his face.

"Well, am I going to get an explanation?" Roderich demanded impatient.

"Alright so I punched the wall a bit, so what?" Gilbert stated annoyed.  
Roderich scoffed.

"'So what!?' Gilbert you can't just go around destroying anything, especially the house! You know better than this!" Roderich stated angrily.  
The yelling made Gilbert's head hurt. He winced and walked a few steps away from Roderich. Roderich followed.

"Don't ignore me Gilbert! Why did you punch the wall!?" Roderich demanded.

"Roderich can you calm down?" Gilbert asked calmly.

"No I won't! Tell me why you damaged the wall! Have you any idea how much it costs to fix that!?" Roderich snapped.

Gilbert growled.

"Not really and I hit it 'cause I was angry." Gilbert spoke already getting angry.

"Because you were angry!? That's an awful reason Gilbert! You don't just hit something because you were angry! Give me a liable reason other than that!"

"That's my only reason Roderich, nothing else! I'm not gonna make up some stupid reason just to satisfy your demands!" Gilbert snapped.

Roderich was beyond angry now.

"Oh that's funny Gilbert I thought it was your forte to make up reasons for anything!" Roderich snapped back.

Gilbert's head was pounding and he was getting angrier by the second.

"Get the hell off my back Roderich! It's just a fucking dent that can easily be fixed! Get over it and drop it!" Gilbert demanded walking away.  
Roderich angrily followed not finished yet.

"I won't get off your back! No matter what you say, I won't get off your back! Now listen here, I've kept my mouth shut about your behavior for the past week but now that I'm seeing that, I demand an explanation now! I want to know why you're intent on destroying the household now!" Roderich yelled.

"I don't intend of destroying the fucking house Roderich so don't go there! Also if you're so interested, I've been in and out of piss poor moods for weeks because you won't stop your shit! That's what the hell is wrong with me!" Gilbert yelled.

Roderich silenced for a brief second before gritting his teeth slightly and resuming.

"What have I been doing to you Gilbert!? I don't remember me trying to make your life miserable in any way, shape, or form so how am I the reason!?" Roderich demanded.

Gilbert was really starting to lose it.

"You want to know!? Okay! You're constantly harassing me to do my shit around this damn house and all the time it's 'Gilbert clean that up!' or 'Gilbert pick up your damn clothes or some other shit! I'm sick of it!" Gilbert yelled.

Roderich was taken aback for another split second before words he didn't want to say tumbled out of his mouth.

"If your so sick of it, then why are you still here!?" Roderich screamed before covering his mouth.

Gilbert was shocked. Did Roderich just say that? Gilbert grit his teeth.

"Cause I got nowhere else to go! Ever think of that!? Sure Ludwig would let me stay but only for a few days and then what would happen!?" Gilbert screamed back.

By now, he was breathing heavily.

"Gilbert, I didn't mean to say that." Roderich mumbled.

"Oh really!? Then what the hell was that then!?"

"I can be angry too Gilbert! Words just tumble out when I don't want them too!" Roderich yelled.

"That didn't sound like words just tumbling out of your mouth Roderich!" Gilbert yelled before storming away.

Again, Roderich would have none of it. He stormed after Gilbert.

"Don't you dare run away from this Gilbert! Get back here this ins-"

"SHUT UP!" Gilbert screamed before raising his hand.

All Roderich could do was stare in horror before Gilbert's hand collided with his cheek.  
The slap echoed for a few seconds before the dust settled. Gilbert was breathing heavily. His rage was gone. In his eyes, Gilbert's anger overloaded again until he was enraged causing him to hit whatever was closer. But in his mind, after he slipped into his anger induced trance, he thought for a brief second that he was back in the prison and that Jerg was harassing him again, going too far.

Gilbert thought he smacked Jerg.

That was, until he found himself still in his living room and the only sound he could hear, was the sound of choked and silent sobs coming from Roderich who was curled up on the floor holding his right cheek.

Shock.

Horror.

Hurt.

Those were the features etched onto Roderich's face when he looked up at Gilbert, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Like in Gilbert's dream.

Gilbert just stood there speechless for a moment, taking in what he just did.

He hit Roderich,  
because he thought he was Jerg.

His dream was a premonition of what he would do.

Now it made sense,  
and the same horrifying realization from his dream set in as well.

Gilbert and Roderich just stared at each other for a moment, both taking it all in, all feelings mixed.  
Gilbert reached out only for Roderich to quickly stand up and back away.

"Roderich-"

"Get out."

Gilbert was silent again for a moment.

"Roderich wh-"

"I said GET OUT!" Roderich screamed through tears and hurt.

Gilbert's brows furrowed in sadness and he took a step forward.

"Roderich."

"Stay away! Get out of here NOW!" Roderich sobbed pointing at the door.

"Roderich please." Gilbert begged.

"Stay the hell away from me! Just get out NOW!" Roderich screamed.

Gilbert just looked at the sobbing Roderich and then the door. Gilbert looked away shamefully and walked over to the coat rack to grab his coat and slip it on. He took a backward glance at Roderich who was still sobbing and refusing to look at Gilbert.

"Roderich please." Gilbert begged in a low voice.

Roderich balled up a fist and looked at Gilbert with a look mixed with absolute hurt and anger.

"Don't beg me! J-Just go! Get out, and don't come back! If y-you're going to step that far, then just don't come back!" Roderich sobbed still holding his cheek.

Gilbert just looked at Roderich, silent while the Austrian sobbed. Gilbert then looked away from him and slowly opened the door to step out into the cold night air, small flakes of snow gently landing on the albino's head as he stepped out, silent, and shameful. When he closed the front door, he heard the sprinting steps of Roderich's feet go up to his room and slam the door. Gilbert stayed against the front door for a few long moments before he started for the walk to Fritz's house. He couldn't walk to his brother's home from his own house.

* * *

_**And that's the end of this chapter.**_

_**-prepares for the angry/angsty reviews-**_

_**I changed my name to Sunny-This-Side-Up if you get confused.**_

_**And I told you shit would go down, but don't worry.**_

_**The waited for and beloved M rating comes soon so at least be happy for that ^^~**_

_**Read, Review, and eat a bunch of cake**_

_**~Sunny**_


	10. Putting Away Pride

Chapter 10: Putting Away Pride

**Sup.**

**Here's chapter 10, and the fanfic's reaching its end with just a few more chapters.**

**No real warning here**

**I don't own Hetalia or its characters.**

**Quick Sum So Far: **Everything seems to be going more-so downhill for Gilbert as time goes on until his flares of temper start to cause the destruction of a few household items along with some of the house itself, all out of pure and unknown anger. As time passes by, Roderich starts to notice his behavior worsen, though after a discovery with his front door wall, Roderich knows he must out his foot down. He confronts Gilbert about it, which soon spawns into a fight between the two; a fight ending in violence. Gilbert had hit Roderich after a miniscule episode in which he thought he was hitting someone else. Though Gilbert continually tries to speak to Roderich about it, the Austrian refuses to listen and throws him out. After a moment, Gilbert leaves the property.

* * *

The first place Gilbert stopped was the liquor store for two 12 packs of his favorite beer before venturing back to Fritz's house, knowing very well Ludwig wasn't home due to he and Feliciano visiting Lovino and Antonio before Christmas; he knew very well not to sneak in his brother's home if he wasn't home. The store owner had asked what was wrong with Gilbert since he lacked his well known grin, but Gilbert just ignored him and paid for his drinks. At the moment, Gilbert was sitting against Fritz's grave, having already downed 4 cans in the first hour or so. The snow had started to pile up silently as the night went on and Gilbert's body temperature was decreasing at the exposed parts of his skin rapidly, giving off a ghostly look to him.

Not like he cared though.

Gilbert was aware he was drinking his alcohol at a fast rate and that if he stayed out longer, he'd probably get frost bite as a side dish to his worsened head cold, but he didn't care about it.

He didn't care about anything at the moment.

All he cared about was one Austrian being who threw him out, because he had hurt him, physically and emotionally.

He hit Roderich.

Dear God, he hit Roderich.

The memories of what had occurred not so long ago were just killing Gilbert. The albino knew he let his anger take control of him. Now that he did, he thinks it may have cost him the one person he practically lives for. That was the worse thing about this, was that Roderich might demand Gilbert to leave him if he knew he was in danger of physical and emotional pain from the albino as the days would go by. Gilbert feared that the most. He didn't want Roderich out of his life. They had lived through so much together even if they weren't a couple and Gilbert didn't want to lose that. He so desperately wanted to make things right but he honestly didn't know how too. Well, without hurting his pride of course. Gilbert knew Roderich was pretty simple when it came to apologies but, Gilbert had a feeling he wouldn't let this pass so easily.

Who could honestly?

Gilbert growled at himself and hit his face multiple times the more he thought about all this. By now, to say the least, he was getting slightly tipsy now that he was almost done with a 5th can of beer. Gilbert cursed and hated at himself, punching the ground beneath him and holding back tears.  
Gilbert was stricken with guilt. It hit him very deep.

As his thoughts went on, Gilbert suddenly remembered the one time Roderich was this angry at him. He also happened to be just as hurt.

* * *

_Gilbert and Roderich had been invited to a party that Gilbert's friend Francis started. Both men were 22 and 20 at the time and Gilbert still found himself in a sort of depressed slump at some points in time, still trying to get over Fritz's death. Though he was getting better, he was still mourning. His sleep schedules jumbled themselves like a jungle gym, he was slightly distant from his friends and brother, and he smiled less. His long time friend Francis naturally felt just as upset by this since, well, this was freaking Gilbert! The Frenchman could swear world hunger was getting worse since Gilbert wasn't the rowdy, energetic and loud Prussian bastard everyone knew and loved. With a single phone call one day, Francis begged Gilbert to come to his party and that Roderich could come along. Though Gilbert felt the need to stay indoors, he agreed, much to his friend's delight. He of course told Roderich he was coming as well.  
The Austrian refused at first but Gilbert still forced him. _

_Now that they both were at Francis's summer home, where the party was being held, thoughts started swirling through both men's heads._

_Roderich wasn't as social as Gilbert so he felt slightly uncomfortable around an entire house of loud music and annoying people. He honestly just wanted a quieter room with no one's company. Well maybe Gilbert or Elizabeta or even Francis's cynical yet refined 'boyfriend' Arthur Kirkland's company but that was it. The problem was, Elizabeta wasn't present anywhere, Arthur was most likely getting drunk off his ass, and Roderich could tell every single room was occupied in whatever way possible, much to his dismay. Now he just felt stuck here and out of place. However, the Austrian stayed in case he had the 'courtesy' of being Gilbert's designated driver if he got wasted, or whatever other reasons._

_Gilbert however didn't really want to be there as well but stayed either way to save himself from an irritated Frenchman later on. The albino also stayed because of the free drinks served. He needed one what with all the leftover emotional turmoil that practically ate him alive with sorrow._

_Both men looked around for any familiar face which Gilbert luckily spotted. Francis and Antonio were laughing merrily to the other guests and before long, they noticed Gilbert had arrived as well and immediately ran over to hug the poor bastard breathless. Well, more so Antonio than Francis. Sometimes Gilbert wondered if the Spaniard was too nice for his own good sometimes since he was the only male the albino knew who would hug someone with so much happiness and greeting. Hell, he even started hugging Gilbert not to long after they met when they were kids like he knew Gilbert forever._

_Be that as it may, Gilbert hugged back knowing Antonio all too well. Antonio pulled away after a minute and grinned at him._

"_Mi amigo! We thought you wouldn't make it!" he exclaimed happily with Francis nodding in agreement._

"_Oui, cher, we thought you'd ditch us and stay home." Francis said with his own smile._

_He spotted Roderich behind the albino and grinned at him before walking up to the already uncomfortable Austrian._

"_Oh honhon~ you're adorable little friend came as well~" Francis purred making Roderich step away and Gilbert glare at him slightly._

"_Francis, leave Roddy alone. Now where's the alcohol, 'cause one of the prime reasons I came was for the alcohol." Gilbert asked keeping Roderich from the danger of a grope session from Francis. _

_It seemed to pull the Frenchman from his perverted fantasies of the gorgeous Austrian. Honestly, Francis would be shocked if anyone didn't think of Roderich's curvaceous and feminine-like body. However, the Frenchman knew his bounds. He knew Gilbert had, albeit silently, proclaimed Roderich his (even though they weren't dating) with glares and numerous kicks in the shins and punches on the arm if he tried making a move on Roderich. That, and Francis had Arthur, even though the Brit made it look like he hated Francis. Francis knew Arthur didn't hate him so much, the evidence being the many nights spent in bed with the short tempered Brit.  
Francis grinned and looked over at his Prussian friend and nodded at him._

"_Ah of course, cher. This way." Francis said pointing towards the table absolutely filled with all sorts of alcohol._

_Gilbert went a bit wide-eyed at the sight but otherwise went over to it and managed to find his favorite beer to begin his night of drinking. He gave a backwards glance to Roderich who was left standing still uncomfortable in his spot, worrying slightly if Roderich would be mad for leaving him with loud party goers. To his relief, Roderich waved him off to let him do what he wanted before walking his way through the crowd towards the table of food where the Austrian spotted some obviously made shachorte. Of course he had to grab a piece before walking outside and sitting on a bench where it was quieter._

_Roderich spent the next hour or two just watching everyone outside of the large house, doing whatever, mainly getting so drunk they couldn't stand. Roderich spotted Arthur among the crowd who made himself the most noticeable of most drunkards by shouting obscenities like 'You bloody git, watch you're damn mouth or I'll kick your arse~' Or 'Flying Mint Bunny, stop mocking me with you're damn adorable flying!' or even just questioning his own religion very loudly and desperately. Roderich found it hilarious to watch honestly, mainly since he wasn't the one shouting the obscenities. He wouldn't be caught dead drinking as much as Arthur was obviously consuming. In the midst of his observing, another person sat next to him, slightly staggering and obviously drunk. Of course Roderich noticed and turned to see who it was. It was Vash Zwingli, a Swiss man Roderich had met when he first came to Germany. They both had started out pretty well, but both soon drove apart from each other mainly due to problems in Vash's family or the fact Vash started to really disagree with Roderich's 'wasteful spending' as they grew. Least to say, Roderich by now would consider Vash more so an acquaintance than a friend. His sister Lili was nice though and became somewhat of a friend to Roderich, even if she was younger than the both of them. Be that as it may, Roderich wondered what in God's name Vash was doing here, out of all places. The Swiss man wasn't exactly the partying type. _

"_Umm, hello Vash, I didn't expect you to be here." Roderich greeted obviously confused._

_Vash sneered._

"_Neither did I Edelstein, I thought you'd be home, playing…uhh…what's it s called?" Vash said with a slur to his voice._

"_Piano, and I'm just here as a carpool for Gilbert." Roderich said turning away and scooting away._

_Vash groaned._

"_Lord have mercy, that bastard seems to be one of you're top priorities." Vash said._

_Roderich remembered how bad Gilbert and Vash were when together or talked about for that matter; they hated each other._

"_He is not my top priority; I'm just his ride home." Roderich said irritated._

"_Just leave that albino fuckface here Edelstein, it's not like he'll hurt anyone!" Vash said loudly and out of no where. _

_Roderich looked at him angrily. _

"_I think I'd find him passed out in a ditch if I left him here, thank you very much. Also, why are you demanding such a thing Vash?" Roderich demanded standing up._

"'_Cause fuck him, and fuck you Edelstein." Vash sneered standing up and pushing Roderich to the ground._

_Roderich was about to get up and run from Vash but when the Swiss man followed him on the ground and keeping Roderich under him, the Austrian really couldn't do so. Roderich started to get an uncomfortable feeling from the way the drunken Swiss man on top of him was looking at him. He seemed hazy with something that sent a shiver down Roderich's spine. He didn't like it one bit. _

"_V-Vash please get away and let me stand." Roderich asked trying to keep composure._

_Vash mumbled something that Roderich really couldn't hear what with all the noise surrounding them. Then before Roderich knew it, he felt Vash's hand on his hip, and trailing down to his thigh before leaning forward to kiss Roderich.  
Of course he would have none of it. _

_Roderich, even with the shock piling up in him, managed to smack Vash hard on the face making him topple over. Once Vash was away from Roderich, the Austrian did not hesitate to stand up immediately and get away from the drunken Swiss man.  
At that moment, Roderich immediately felt more uncomfortable than he should have what with a drunk and seemingly horny Vash around. He figured he should get Gilbert and leave._

_No one should be this uncomfortable, Dammit!_

_Roderich had a quickness to his step getting through the crowd and back into the house the party was hosted in, dodging every drunken man yelling a string of curses and laughing or woman with their hormones acting up because of the alcohol in their veins. Roderich could honestly say he was in a small panic since he was so intent on finding the by now drunk Prussian idiot and getting out. The brunette looked through the crowd until he managed to spot a familiar head of snow white hair amongst the crowd. Roderich felt some relief wash over him and again traversed his way through the crowd the grab him._

_What he was met with shocked him._

_Roderich got a front row view of a drunken Gilbert being sloppily kissed by a girl about Roderich's height with short and dark hair and a revealing purple dress; it didn't look like he was trying to stop this either.  
Too many emotions piled onto Roderich at that moment. It was almost too much to bear honestly. But the emotions Roderich most certainly felt was anger and hurt.  
In the back of Roderich's mind, he knew he shouldn't be angry, but his heart continued pounding with the emotions. To add insult to injury, Roderich had absolutely no idea why he was feeling this angry. All he knew was that his heart felt heavy, the hot sting of tears was felt through his eyes, and Roderich could barely think straight._

_He snapped out of his shock induced state when Gilbert and the girl managed to pull away from each other. Roderich let himself seethe with rage followed by walking up to Gilbert right in front of him. _

"_You…bastard!" Roderich hissed through grit teeth before smacking Gilbert hard across the face and again weaving through the crowd who didn't seem to notice them._

_Gilbert, meanwhile, just barely registered the slap what with his heavily alcohol induced brain processing very few things correctly. To the albino in question, he thought Roderich had started kissing him. Gilbert, of course had to take the chance up for his own pent up reasons. When he felt the Austrian smack him, he felt himself sober up a bit, just enough to see Roderich leave through the crowd so as to leave the party itself. Gilbert panicked a bit and started staggering after him, calling his name in vain through the loud crowd of people.  
Once Gilbert managed to get himself outside, he looked around for the familiar head of dark hair with that strange curl to it. However with his alcohol hazed mind, Gilbert's vision was failing him since everything was either in twos or just blurry. He again staggered forward to look for Roderich's car. When looking around, he noticed the little and somewhat old violet car the Austrian possessed wasn't anywhere to be found._

* * *

Gilbert remembered it was about week before the two met up again and talked it out. Well, Gilbert was the one who went to Roderich because he was tired of waiting for the Austrian to come along. Of course Roderich was still a tad angry but otherwise apologized to Gilbert for smacking him and that he had no reason to be angry at Gilbert (at least that's what he said), and Gilbert forgave him.  
The albino also remembered asking Roderich on what would be their first date to bring closure to the fight.  
Still, from the amount of time waiting for Roderich to come back to him and how anxious Gilbert had been for him to come along, Gilbert had to guess that was the time Roderich started to fall for him, now that he thought about it. After all, the type of emotion shown from Roderich back then was equivalent to a girlfriend seeing her boyfriend kiss another girl, even though the two men weren't dating or in any type of romantic relationship at the time.  
Though it wasn't intended, the feelings were shown and Gilbert got the idea that his stuffy and irritable friend liked him more than a friend. It was an endearing thought that made Gilbert's heart flutter the more he thought about.

Reality however shot back down to the poor Prussian when he remembered why he was her thinking about it.

Gilbert slowly got out of his thought induced trance to the lack of feeling in his fingers. Gilbert tried moving his fingers again to try and get the feeling back in them, but to no avail. He noticed, even if it was night time, that his fingers were turning a scary shade of light blue. The Prussian stood up with a stagger so as to get back to Fritz's home and warm up. Gilbert managed to grab a hold of his beer before starting the freezing trek across the snowed in yard, his vision blurred due to the alcohol. Again, it didn't help it was dark out.

Once he got to the back door, it took him a couple tries to get the door open before he blindly stumbled inside the somewhat cold house, falling down instantly. Gilbert mumbled a string of curses getting up and kicking the door closed and dragging himself towards the darkened living room, nearly tripping over himself more times than once until he reached the couch, face-first. The albino had abandoned his drink after a few more moments in the darkness and silence to curl up on the couch, shivering. Granted he was in his coat, but the drunken Prussian had been outside in the getting below freezing temperatures for a while and the cold had started to latch onto him and the exposed parts of his body. If Gilbert had been out any longer, he may have started to succumb to either hypothermia or frost bite.  
Now, the logical thing to do if in that situation, Gilbert should have started to soak himself in warm water and then bury himself in a cocoon of blankets, but none of it really occurred to the Prussian while he continued shivering from the cold, pulling his coat closer and curling in a ball, overwhelming depression and anger at himself piling up into a horrible mold. Gilbert gripped his coat roughly and grits his teeth. He kept his eyes closed, trying and failing to hold back the warm tears coming from his eyes. Gilbert started sobbing, his tears warming his cheeks while he curled up more. His sobbing was somewhat loud but he didn't care. He just wanted to cry. He wanted to disappear.

He wanted Roderich.

Gilbert wasn't sure what time it was when he woke the next day, he just knew his head was pounding with a migraine mixed with a normal hangover headache. He still had his head cold after all, it was just worse now. Actually, more than worse, he felt like his head was being hit repeatedly with a sledgehammer, if it could be described as such. Gilbert groaned in pain when sitting up, covering his eyes from the sunlight. The Prussian stood up silently and started heading to the bathroom, looking down at his feet so as to avoid direct light. He didn't bother turning on the light in the bathroom, he just concentrated on opening the medicine cabinet to get the painkillers and take two of them, along with a mouthful of water. Once that was done, the Prussian splashed his face with water and looked at his disheveled face in the mirror. God he looked horrible.  
His hair was unkempt more-so than it usually was, the white in his eyes were starting to resemble the color of his own eyes, his face was a shade paler (if possible), and there were dry tear tracks on his cheeks. Gilbert felt disgusted at himself since he was in this state. He gripped his hair tightly and gritting his teeth again, remembering last night again, though this time, it came crashing down like a plane. Gilbert buried his head in his arms while he shook with newer sobs. The devastated albino found himself going to his knees and hunching over to properly cry.

His thoughts were racing and he felt his heart could shatter at the very possible loss of the one person he loved more than himself.

"_If you want him back so bad, why don't you tell him you're sorry?" _his conscience spoke.

Gilbert quieted down his sobs and sat against the bathroom door.

"_You hurt him when you swore you wouldn't let anything happen to him. He won't want you back." _The other part of his conscience thought.

It was more his pride speaking than anything else; saying he would be weak and stupid to try and patch things up when they look like they were obviously beyond repair. Roderich did tell him not to come back.

"_There's still hope. Apologize to him and make a difference. Change things."_

Gilbert put his head in his hands again as a new battle was being fought between his pride and his conscience.

"_He won't forgive you. He can't forgive you after that. Don't even bother saying you're sorry, he won't listen."_

Gilbert was trembling now, silent sobs still escaping his throat.

"_You can't let him go. It's you're job to make it all better. You built what you both have with him. Don't let all that hard agonizing work go to waste. It's too precious."_

Gilbert felt he could pull his hair.

"_Don't go back."_

"_Go back."_

"_Leave him be."_

"_Don't leave him alone."_

"_He won't forgive you."_

"_Just tell him you're sorry."_

"_He deserves better than you."_

"_He can't live without you."_

_Forgive_

_Won't forgive_

_Apologize_

_Don't apologize_

…_._

_Don't_

_Lose_

_Him_

_Can't_

_Lose_

_Him_

Gilbert yelled in every emotion he felt at that moment.

Anger.

Guilt.

Sorrow.

He just yelled while tears escaped his eyes.

Once he stopped yelling, he was sobbing loudly with his head in his knees.

"R-Roderich! I…I l-love you…!" he wailed.

His sobs lowered after that sentence until he was just shaking, trying to keep them back.

"…I can't let you go…I can't…"

He continued shaking; wishing someone could comfort him, help him.

"But…will you forgive me…Roderich?" he asked himself.

Gilbert sat there for what seemed like hours to him. He couldn't tell. Once he got up, he went to the kitchen to get himself a drink of water since his throat was dry and kind of sore. His walk was sluggish and slow. Once he got the clean and cold metal kitchen sink, he opened the cabinets to get the glass cups that still remained there even after so long. He just grabbed one and filled it with water. Once it filled, he leaned against the counter to drink from the cup, the silence very loud in his ears. He looked outside to see it was still snowing and that it seemed to be midday from the way the sun was setting off a gentle light among any area it could reach. Gilbert found no comfort in the supposedly comfortable light. It however did not remain ignored. The midday sun actually revealed something in front of the door in a small puddle of melted snow.

It was Gilbert's wallet.

It was a simple black wallet Roderich loaned to him with Velcro straps on the inside to keep it closed. He wondered what it was doing there.

"_Probably must've dropped it last night. Dumbass." _Gilbert thought before going over and bending down to get the discarded wallet.

The Prussian set his drink down to open his wallet to make sure it still had all its contents. Instead, dropped what looked like a photograph. Again Gilbert bent to pick it up, his long calloused fingers gently grabbing the photo since it seemed somewhat old around the edges like it had been held many times. When Gilbert turned it over, he remembered it immediately.

It was picture of him and Roderich when they both were at a summer outing at the park near Roderich's home some time after they started dating. Gilbert remembered Elizabeta took the picture because Gilbert requested it as a keepsake. He remembered Roderich complaining a bit but otherwise agreeing to be in the picture with him.  
Gilbert swore this picture was one of the possessions given back to Roderich when Gilbert was put in prison. He wondered why it was in this wallet.  
In the picture, Gilbert was grinning at the camera and holding Roderich close from behind like he never wanted to let him go. Roderich was holding onto Gilbert's arms as he was held while he was smiling warmly at the camera.  
His smile had also what seemed like a loving and sort of knowing look to it.

Gilbert concentrated on that loving and beautiful smile on the brunette's face. It was like he was actually looking at Roderich during that time again, seeing that smile only intended for Gilbert and Gilbert only, feeling Roderich's lips on his again when they kissed after the photo, having the love of his life in his arms again.

Gilbert remembered that time and how happy he and Roderich were.

Gilbert remembered that smile Roderich would give to him everyday just for whatever reason.

Gilbert remembered holding Roderich close when Roderich found out his cousin Maria whom he had been very close with passed away from illness, and Roderich clinging to Gilbert for dear life and crying.

Gilbert remembered Roderich first uttering the words 'I love you' to him one night after blissful passion shared between them.

It was the simple things Gilbert remembered about Roderich that gave the albino a different kind of sense of nostalgia; one of longing. That feeling was all too familiar but now it seemed stronger. Gilbert never really thought about the simple things between them. The more he remembered and thought about them, the more he remembered how much he loved them.  
Gilbert loved the simple things from Roderich, be it a smile, holding him, or simply saying how much he loved him.  
The more Gilbert thought about it, it made him wonder how he acted towards Roderich about this.  
Gilbert was always willing to hold Roderich for whatever reason.

Gilbert gave Roderich a genuine caring smile when he wasn't looking.

Gilbert always gave hints and implications on how much he loved Roderich.

The problem was,  
he hardly remembered saying 'I love you' to Roderich.

Then it clicked. Gilbert continued staring at the picture, thinking about how he never said he truly undeniably loved Roderich, with all his heart, all his soul, all his life, maybe since the day he first laid eyes on what he once thought was an angel.  
Gilbert loved Roderich with all his heart.  
He couldn't let him go; he knew if he did, most of him would die away. Roderich became Gilbert's reason for living, his reason for escaping his confines, his reason for everything. Gilbert risked his life to get back to Roderich when the Austrian needed him most. He had built this adoration and devotion with Roderich and he didn't want to break it down.

Gilbert gripped the photo a bit before putting it back into the safety of the wallet and putting the wallet into his coat pocket and standing up straight and walking towards the front door.  
He however was stopped by an all too familiar adversary: his pride.

It started acting up again, screaming at Gilbert to wait on Roderich, wait for him to come to Gilbert. This time however, Gilbert's conscience was being the dominant of this ordeal. The albino's conscience was demanding Gilbert to apologize to Roderich. Gilbert also remembered how this all began: his anger was still the problem. After all, he did hit Roderich because he was enraged. He knew he couldn't just make something up to Roderich about his new anger problem, he had to take initiative. Gilbert had to find a way to at least control his anger so that something like this would never happen again.

"_Best to find out now than later." _The Prussian thought with determination before heading out the front door.

It was with that exit, that Gilbert stored his pride away for this one thing he knew he couldn't lose. Hell be damned if Gilbert would let his pride risk the chances of him and Roderich making up.

It had taken a half and hour walk from Fritz's house to town for Gilbert so he could start his trek around the whole town for the solution to his anger problem.  
It would take a while and two stops at two café's to find it.  
By now, it was getting dark out and Gilbert was starting to lose hope until he made his way to the other side of his town. Gilbert hardly went through this area for unknown reasons but felt now was a good time to go through it. Luckily for him, he found his break. The albino stopped in front of a sort of boxing gym. He raised a brow seeing as he had never heard of it even though he practically lived here his whole life. It must have been new. Either way, Gilbert had a sudden idea that other people came here to punch out their anger on something that wouldn't break or wasn't alive. He remembered his anger toning down after all when he would attack an inanimate object.  
He hated to think about this, but he also remembered his anger toning down by a lot when he hit Roderich, but that was only because he though Roderich was Jerg, whom he wanted to beat the hell out of.

Either way you look at it, it made sense. A boxing gym was a good start to drive out anger if nothing else. It was actually a great start for Gilbert. At the moment though, the gym was closed so Gilbert couldn't just go in and ask for a membership yet. He instead, made a mental note to revisit the place tomorrow and get a membership.

With that note stored in his mind, Gilbert's thoughts went to the next step in his plan: apologize to Roderich.  
Gilbert had no care if this put a hurting on his pride or not, but it still made him a tad afraid of what Roderich's reaction would be when he returned. Gilbert knew it wouldn't be a good one, but tried to think of the many alternatives centering on how Roderich would act.  
Would he throw Gilbert out again?  
Would he actually stay still to listen to Gilbert?  
Would he do worse?  
The possibilities were endless really and it terrified Gilbert.

"_No. No time to chicken out, you pussy. You need to do this. You can't lose him." _Gilbert thought to himself while starting to walk in the direction he came there from.

He knew where Roderich's home was anywhere he was in this town.

Now all that remained was if Roderich would forgive him.  
Gilbert took a deep breath, and continued heading on home.

* * *

_**I'm baaack~!**_

_**Sorry for the wait but some crap's been happening recently that's been kind of a blow to me so I haven't been able to write this chapter for a while, but since the fanfiction's reaching its ending point, I'll try to post the chapters as quickly as freaking possible.**_

_**Also if this seemed a bit rushed, I finished it at 3 in the damn morning and no one thinks straight during that time.**_

_**I hope you enjoyed this chapter, have a great day~! ^^**_

_**~Sunny**_


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